Joint Checking Accounts

[steve dave]

I guess I understand the theory of putting hard limits on discretionary spending with the individual accounts separate from the household, but it seems more like a stomach stapling, an engineering control to limit a behavior.

the only other reason mentioned in this thread is to help control fights about money. the first one is for people who can't handle money and the second is for people who can't handle marriage. if you fall into either of these then maybe joint accounts are for you.

[Dr Rick Daris]

I guess I understand the theory of putting hard limits on discretionary spending with the individual accounts separate from the household, but it seems more like a stomach stapling, an engineering control to limit a behavior.

the only other reason mentioned in this thread is to help control fights about money. the first one is for people who can't handle money and the second is for people who can't handle marriage. if you fall into either of these then maybe joint accounts are for you.

yep. in addition to the joint accounts for the above situation, i'd also possibly suggest separate living spaces as well as maybe not even getting married.

[Daddy Claxton]

Happily married for 12 years with separate accounts. Each one's income goes into his/her own account and then we divide the expenses up and each pay what we agreed to pay.  Each one's excess is put into savings and personal spending as we've agreed with each other. We discuss expenses and budget in order to divide the expenses and allocate savings, so it works fine.  If we get divorced I'm sure it will have nothing to do with where we deposit our paychecks.

[puniraptor]

Happily married for 12 years with separate accounts. Each one's income goes into his/her own account and then we divide the expenses up and each pay what we agreed to pay.  Each one's excess is put into savings and personal spending as we've agreed with each other. We discuss expenses and budget in order to divide the expenses and allocate savings, so it works fine.  If we get divorced I'm sure it will have nothing to do with where we deposit our paychecks.

bets: hedged

smart, daddy.

[BIG APPLE CAT]

SkinBen, first and foremost, 'grats on lockin' that down!  Second, as for banks - Wells Fargo, more like SMELLS FARGO.*

*I am the least qualified person to be giving any advice whatsoever when it comes to money re: debt collectors thread.

[ben ji]

Great thread guyz, I have always thought about this if I were to get married. IMO the best option would be to have 90% of your paycheck deposited in a joint account and 10% deposited in your own account for random "me" purchases. This would allow me to lose $200 at the boats or her to purchase $200 worth of clothes without either of us cringing. No idea how this would work in practice but it seems like a good idea thinking about it.


Side note- ben ji's parents had a joint account the first 25 or so years of marriage but sometime after I moved off to college they switched to having their own accounts. I've never really asked how it's set up(Mom pays for X, Dad pays for X) but their mortgage is paid off so that probably makes it a little easier.

[Mr Bread]

Having to have secret no questions asked my money seems like a depressing aspect of a marriage.  Maybe it's different if you and your spouse are rough ridin' idiots with your purchases.  Like rather than fight about the fact that one or both of you is a shitbrain, you are both just wilfully ignorant of it.  Having to hide my spending from my wife or we fight or vice versa is not a life I want any part of. 

SD and RD have already said it, but if that's how you need to get along you are a complete dumbfuck for getting married.   

[420seriouscat69]

Did any of you sign prenups?

[KITNfury]

A lot of people in here that are insecure about their marriages and can’t handle people that do things differently.

[ben ji]

question for you joint checking account people.

How does it work when you buy something for the other person? Say you want to surprise your wife with a big purchase, maybe some jewelry or something. Wouldn't she check the account balance and see that X amount of money was spent at a jewelry store and ruin the surprise?

What about christmas gifts? "Welp, checked my bank account and it looks like sally dropped $100 at bass pro the other day, looks like I know I'm getting fishing gear for christmas"

[puniraptor]

question for you joint checking account people.

How does it work when you buy something for the other person? Say you want to surprise your wife with a big purchase, maybe some jewelry or something. Wouldn't she check the account balance and see that X amount of money was spent at a jewelry store and ruin the surprise?

What about christmas gifts? "Welp, checked my bank account and it looks like sally dropped $100 at bass pro the other day, looks like I know I'm getting fishing gear for christmas"

in practice, it's a combination of her never looking at the account anyway and a reduced incidence in true suprise giftgiving

[steve dave]

question for you joint checking account people.

How does it work when you buy something for the other person? Say you want to surprise your wife with a big purchase, maybe some jewelry or something. Wouldn't she check the account balance and see that X amount of money was spent at a jewelry store and ruin the surprise?

What about christmas gifts? "Welp, checked my bank account and it looks like sally dropped $100 at bass pro the other day, looks like I know I'm getting fishing gear for christmas"

do you even credit card?

[ben ji]

question for you joint checking account people.

How does it work when you buy something for the other person? Say you want to surprise your wife with a big purchase, maybe some jewelry or something. Wouldn't she check the account balance and see that X amount of money was spent at a jewelry store and ruin the surprise?

What about christmas gifts? "Welp, checked my bank account and it looks like sally dropped $100 at bass pro the other day, looks like I know I'm getting fishing gear for christmas"

do you even credit card?

Not enough 

[Daddy Claxton]

do you even credit card?

What? Sounds like an account that your spouse is not entirely in the know about, from which you can spend no questions asked. Suggest you talk to a good divorce attorney ASAP.

[puniraptor]

triple points on divorce attorneys in May

[michigancat]

A lot of people in here that are insecure about their marriages and can’t handle people that do things differently.

I think you're the most intolerant in this thread.

Everyone's situation is different. Single joint accounts work for some while separate accounts work better for others.

[Mrs. Gooch]

do you even credit card?

That's what I was going to say. I am the one who checks the statements of our (joint) credit cards so I would know if he ever bought me a gift  , but he would probably not know if I bought him one.

[puniraptor]

question for you joint checking account people.

How does it work when you buy something for the other person? Say you want to surprise your wife with a big purchase, maybe some jewelry or something. Wouldn't she check the account balance and see that X amount of money was spent at a jewelry store and ruin the surprise?

What about christmas gifts? "Welp, checked my bank account and it looks like sally dropped $100 at bass pro the other day, looks like I know I'm getting fishing gear for christmas"

do you even credit card?

Not enough 

you should probably just assume that you are getting fishing gear every christmas

[steve dave]

do you even credit card?

What? Sounds like an account that your spouse is not entirely in the know about, from which you can spend no questions asked. Suggest you talk to a good divorce attorney ASAP.

she knows about it and can look at it if she wants to.

[Mr Bread]

A lot of people in here that are insecure about their marriages and can’t handle people that do things differently.

You don't do it differently. 

[Daddy Claxton]

In practice, how exactly is a joint account, that one spouse never looks at, different from a separate account?

My wife and I each know each other's passwords for our separate accounts, btw.

[Mrs. Gooch]

In practice, how exactly is a joint account, that one spouse never looks at, different from a separate account?

My wife and I each know each other's passwords for our separate accounts, btw.

Because then you don't have to decide who is buying what; like RD was pointing out.

[Daddy Claxton]

Fair enough. I guess we've just never had much trouble deciding who buys what.  Usually it's just the person that's there when it's time to pay.  We frequently move money to/from each other's accounts when unexpected expenses arise.

Actually, now that I think about it, we are probably closer to having two joint accounts rather than separate accounts and it may be the most inefficient set up there is. Oh well, works for us.

[Dugout DickStone]

Did any of you sign prenups?

no.  we both rich

[420seriouscat69]

Did any of you sign prenups?

no.  we both rich

Good to know.