"Hey you've reached Stevesie60, I'm not available but please leave me a message with your name and number and I'll call you back as soon as I can. Thanks"
"At the tone, please leave a message. When you are finished recording you may hang up or press pound for more options. *BEEP*."
"Hey Stevesie, it's Metalhead. Just calling to let you know you left your Balvenie 20 year at my house a couple nights ago. Listen, you gotta get this crap out of here. My roommate and I opened it up because we were out of booze and after one whiff we almost poured it down the drain. I've heard of barmat shots, where you pour all the spilled liquor on the bar into a shot glass and serve it to a total douchebag. Did you buy an entire bottle of that or what? Seriously, come pick this up as soon as you can because we are going to throw it away at this time tomorrow. It's sitting outside by the mailbox, that's as close as it is going to come to my house. My roommate is still throwing up from the smell of it. Speaking of which, *gurgle* GOTTA GO!"
*BEEP*