just extraordinarily low alcohol iq here. just rough ridin' terrible.
gin and tonics? what are you, a bunch of frustrated hausfraus? 'cause you're drinking the drink of functionally (hopefully) alcoholic moms.
bourbon redneck-y? from "serious drinker" rd? you know what you sound like when you say that? yes, you're right. a redneck.
thinking whisky = bourbon (always)? from someone i gather is a bartender? jesus h.
anyways, since you asked, i would have to go with vodka, as in martinis (dry and dirty, please).
ps i used to think 'clams was hilarious, but he seems to have morphed into a pissy (oh, i get it) old grump. (i assume he's a g & t guy.)