Roommate of mine got kicked out of Kites a few months ago. He tells us to "watch the master do his thing" and starts hitting on this girl a couple tables over (he's not BITB at picking up chicks, just had a lot of liquid courage that night). Anyways, looked like things were going well but her really fat friend kept butting in and trying to hit on my friend. None of us could wing-man for him because our girlfriends were there.
After a few minutes of the fat friend trying to cockblock/intercept my friend from his target, he lost it. "HOLY crap YOU FAT rough ridin' COW, LEAVE US ALONE. START WORKING OUT IF YOU EVER WANT ANYONE TO LOVE YOU!" All of us guys were simultaneously

and

. Our girlfriends were

and

. The bouncers were

and

. The fat girl was

and her friend was

. He was immediately kicked out and started yelling at us to kick the bouncers' asses so he could keep trying to pick up that girl. When we got back home he was sitting on the porch with a half-empty bottle of whiskey and laughing about what happened at Kites.