Characters from your childhood

[Stevesie60]

Hannah, the girl I kissed in kindergarten. We got each other Christmas gifts for the next three years, even though she was Jewish, so I'm not sure why she celebrated Christmas.

[ben ji]

When I was a kid and other kids wanted to make fun of me they would call me benjamin franklin jayhawker (last name) because they knew i hated being called a jayhawker. 

[Pete]

miss burt (5th grade teacher) was a super bitch.

OMG, what school?

rochester

I had that bitch at another school in the district.  I know it has to the same one. 

[AbeFroman]

Mr. Allnut, principal at my school from 3rd-5th

Yes, we were as immature with his name as you'd imagine.

[Bloodfart]

Francis the town Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!).  He would roam the school grounds carrying a wore out football.  The laces were torn on one seam and the rubber bladder was bulging through the tear.  He couldn't/wouldn't talk, he just made grunting noises and pointed at stuff.  We would ask him "where's your mom Francis?"  and he would point to the sky and grunt repeatedly and smile really big.

One day one of the big kids was pissed about something and took Francis' football and punted it on top of the school.  Francis was very upset about it and ran home.  I gave my friend a boost up into the tree next to the school and he got the ball down.  We took it to his house and laid it on the porch.  The next day he was back at school sitting on the fire escape outside our classroom holding his football. 

[deputy dawg]

In 4th grade, a classmate named Sammy and a nickname of "Sammy Snot".  On demand, he could pinch a nostril shut and snort a huge gob of snot onto the floor or ground, but he usually did it in class when the teacher was gone or distracted.  Seems gross now, but the boys in class all secretly wished they could do that too.

[Bloodfart]

Johnny the Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!) kid.  Johnny would come over to our house with his mom to buy eggs and raw cow milk from my mom.  We would play on the swing set while our moms talked.  He really liked cats.  When ever one of the slut mother cats had a new litter I would take Johnny to go look at them.  I always had to tell him not to pick them up or their mom might abandon them.  He would just sit there starring at them and laughing when ever one of the little rascals moved around.  Then we would go to the apple tree and get a few apples to snack on till our moms got done gossiping about whatever and he would get in their car and leave. 

[Bloodfart]

Doc the town loon.  Doc was a smart man once upon a time with a bigtimey job he wore a suit to everyday.  He had a nervous break down or something.  I only knew him as the guy who strolled around town looking like he was thinking about something important and raising his hand every now and then like he had just had an epiphany.  On Sunday mornings after church he would always track dad down to ask him "Mr. Bloodfart, do you have a six pack for me today?"  Dad would always say "I don't got any on me right now Doc but I'll see what I can do." 

[The1BigWillie]

Cap **** - Was our town drunk for lack of a better term.  It would shock nobody to walk out their front door in the morning and trip over Cap or find him asleep in their porch swing.  There were a couple mornings my Dad and G-pa would be out feeding cattle and be on the backroads and find him sleeping in his car.  One night he took the wrong car home from the local bar.  He drove a giant Coupe DeVille with horns on the hood.  He got into someone's van and drove it home.  He passed out naked on someone's porch once too.  He used to play the harmonica and the jug... Every once in a while when he was on a real bender he would just go house to house and play the harmonica and drink in a lawn chair in people's yards.  I can still remember that he sounded like Farmer Fran whenever he rambled into the yard and started talking to my dad.  RIP Cap.

[slobber]

Moped Fred. A real guy named Fred who drove a moped. He had a learning disability. He was awesome. I wonder whatever happened to Moped Fred?

[Bloodfart]

The ******boys.  Three brothers (prolly in their 70's) that lived together their entire lives.  None of them ever got married.  They just spent their days farming and making the occasional batch of moonshine.  I would ride my bike to their farm that looked like something from the 40's or 50's but it was insanely clean.  Every ancient building looked like it had been painted yesterday all the time. 

Mom sent me over there with milk and eggs every week.  I would knock on the screen door and Lenny would come to the door.  He would take the goods and go back inside to get the money.  I would try to peer inside the old house to see what it looked like but all I saw were kerosene lamps and old furniture.  The other two brothers (Ike and Paul) would usually be sitting at the kitchen table looking at me.  I'd get nervous and back out of the doorway and back onto the porch.  Lenny would finally come back and hand me the cash and I would haul ass back to our place.
 

[ben ji]

Man, I feel like I missed out on an important step in childhood by not being exposed to town drunks  . DAM YOU OVERLAND PARK

[one time gella]

Walkin' Bob... 
He walked around Hays picking up beer cans, bumming cigarettes and generally spreading his profound philosophy...
Hell of a guy!

[Emo EMAW]

Old Man Bloodfart.  Rumor was if he caught you in his pasture he'd turn his shotgun on your and pepper your back with rock salt.  All of us kids had been shot at one time or another when we were alone, but none of us was shot whilst with another.  Basically Old Man Bloodfart probably never existed but it made being in his pasture and messing with his cows muuuch more scary.

[Bloodfart]

Old Man Forgothislastname.  Rumor was if he caught you in his pasture he'd turn his shotgun on your and pepper your back with rock salt.  All of us kids had been shot at one time or another when we were alone, but none of us was shot whilst with another.  Basically Old Man Forgothislastname probably never existed but it made being in his pasture and messing with his cows muuuch more scary.

Leave my gat damn cows alone or I'll blast your backside with my Winchester!

[Emo EMAW]

I fixed my post to reflect an alternative reality.

[Bloodfart]

 

[star seed 7]

miss burt (5th grade teacher) was a super bitch.

OMG, what school?

rochester

I had that bitch at another school in the district.  I know it has to the same one.

while being a general total bitch, she also totally favored the girls over the boys.   

i tried to get transferred to the other 5th grade class mid year, but it was full because so many other people had transferred.

[JohnCurrie is Weird/Gross]

My 4th grade teacher stopped class and had us listen to the O.J. Simpson verdict via the radio. She was a character.

[star seed 7]

My 4th grade teacher stopped class and had us listen to the O.J. Simpson verdict via the radio. She was a character.

watched this in the logan jr. high (shoutout to metalhead) library!

[Asteriskhead]

My 4th grade teacher stopped class and had us listen to the O.J. Simpson verdict via the radio. She was a character.

watched this in the logan jr. high (shoutout to metalhead) library!

GrandmaMH must have watched it there too.

[Cartierfor3]

My 4th grade teacher stopped class and had us listen to the O.J. Simpson verdict via the radio. She was a character.

watched this in the logan jr. high (shoutout to metalhead) library!

I was at a school where they were under strict orders to not let the verdict be known to the students for fear of trouble