Author Topic: Hilarious Things At Your Office  (Read 92127 times)

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ben ji

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1800 on: June 22, 2018, 04:53:49 PM »
We now have random quotes attributed to historical figures all over the office.
"I think my grandpa killed some body once, he never liked to talk about Kent State though"

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1801 on: October 31, 2018, 09:44:10 AM »
So, just had a vendor come in for the normal meet and greet here's some donuts and our new catalog type thing. I take them around our office to introduce them to other people. There are 15 people in the office, including myself, and I didn't know or couldn't remember the name of three of them.
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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1802 on: October 31, 2018, 02:25:58 PM »
So, just had a vendor come in for the normal meet and greet here's some donuts and our new catalog type thing. I take them around our office to introduce them to other people. There are 15 people in the office, including myself, and I didn't know or couldn't remember the name of three of them.

that's way better than i would have done


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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1803 on: October 31, 2018, 02:28:27 PM »
would have been good to just introduce them by the nickname that you have given each of them.

"this is coffee breath"
"this is guy who wears the same jeans everyday"
"mole hair"
"sketchers guy"
"drives a 96 lincoln"
"annoying voice"
"annoying voice"
"annoying voice"
etc


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mocat

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1804 on: October 31, 2018, 02:34:44 PM »
would have been good to just introduce them by the nickname that you have given each of them.

"this is coffee breath"
"this is guy who wears the same jeans everyday"
"mole hair"
"sketchers guy"
"drives a 96 lincoln"
"annoying voice"
"annoying voice"
"annoying voice"
etc

 :lol:

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1805 on: October 31, 2018, 02:35:12 PM »
might need a thread of coworker nicknames

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1806 on: October 31, 2018, 02:36:54 PM »
there is a guy that goes to the bathroom so frequently every day that every time i want to use the bathroom, i walk by his office first to see if he's in there. if i see an empty chair i just go back to my desk and wait a while

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1807 on: October 31, 2018, 02:37:17 PM »
I don't even know enough about them to give nicknames, I guessed on their job title based on how many monitors they have
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mocat

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1808 on: October 31, 2018, 02:43:46 PM »
there is a guy that goes to the bathroom so frequently every day that every time i want to use the bathroom, i walk by his office first to see if he's in there. if i see an empty chair i just go back to my desk and wait a while

but like sometimes even after all these years i still forget and walk into an ambush

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1809 on: October 31, 2018, 05:01:04 PM »
What’s your bathroom sitch like, one urinal and one stall?
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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1810 on: October 31, 2018, 05:05:13 PM »
One time I was leading a training in front of about 50 people and completely went blank on the other people's names that I was supposed to introduce and it was pretty bad but I made it through it and am still doing ok.
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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1811 on: October 31, 2018, 05:53:43 PM »
What’s your bathroom sitch like, one urinal and one stall?
Yeah. You see the shoes one millisecond before your nose gets annihilated

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1812 on: October 31, 2018, 06:18:06 PM »
What’s your bathroom sitch like, one urinal and one stall?
Yeah. You see the shoes one millisecond before your nose gets annihilated
There was a streak when every time I went to the bathroom (piss) the same guy was taking a crap.  And it was those really alfalfa smelling shits.

We have five bathrooms, each with three urinals and three stalls...but no matter where I went, boom, old black new balance shoes was committing a war crime on the toilet.

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1813 on: October 31, 2018, 07:47:09 PM »
might need a thread of coworker nicknames
mine are pretty much all listed above but i’m down


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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1814 on: November 01, 2018, 10:36:41 AM »
There is a dude who was sort of the guru/inside connection for the main software platform my company uses. We are currently transitioning to another software platform. He's been kept totally out of the loop on that. I get the impression that maybe he screws up a lot and people are tired of working with him. So, it really feels like we're phasing out of both the software and this dude. Like they'll be getting rid of him soon. :(

So, yesterday, the office manager lady was going around to notify that people were gathering at this dude's office for his birthday. We head down there and people are milling around inside and outside his door because he's not there. I decide to go back to my office because there's no telling how long it will be before he returns. And also because the whole thing was kinda weird. Why not in the break room like usual? Why no email announcement like usual?

I heard them sing happy birthday from down the hall, wait a bit, and then head back to his office. He's sitting at his desk, has a smallish cake directly in front of him, and there are around twelve people standing around the perimeter of his office. No one can really think of anything to say. Someone makes a comment on the cake. Everyone is like, "yeah!" Then, silence again. It's just totally rough ridin' awkward. So, he's like, "let's have some cake!" And he reaches awkwardly across his desk for some paper plates and starts cutting into the cake. He's just sitting there at his desk, trying to balance squares of cake on a plastic knife so they don't fall off, and there's a group of people are standing around, just watching. I couldn't stay there. The scene was just too pathetic and sad and I couldn't take it.

When I got in this morning, I saw the pitiful, little cake sitting in the break room. The majority of it was still there. I'd guess maybe six pieces had been eaten.
« Last Edit: November 01, 2018, 10:56:28 AM by chum1 »

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1815 on: November 01, 2018, 10:52:30 AM »
was it your office manager's birthday or the guy who's about to get fired's birthday?

chum1

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1816 on: November 01, 2018, 10:55:47 AM »
was it your office manager's birthday or the guy who's about to get fired's birthday?

second one

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1817 on: November 01, 2018, 12:38:54 PM »
ah ok. i thought it was like two unrelated stories.

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1818 on: November 01, 2018, 10:03:22 PM »
We had a costume contest at work on Halloween.   Do other Offices do this?

Tom

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1819 on: November 01, 2018, 10:13:33 PM »
Yup! I win every time too, Tom. It’s a good time for office morale..


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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1820 on: November 01, 2018, 10:27:37 PM »


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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1821 on: November 01, 2018, 11:55:05 PM »
We had a costume contest at work on Halloween.   Do other Offices do this?

Tom

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I don't understand why an adult professional would show up to work on a Wednesday wearing a Halloween costume . . .

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1822 on: November 02, 2018, 07:29:33 AM »
Good for morale
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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1823 on: November 02, 2018, 07:53:39 AM »
We had one. I conveniently traveled this week. I dislike.

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Re: Hilarious Things At Your Office
« Reply #1824 on: November 02, 2018, 08:51:24 AM »
Imagine being so miserable you can't enjoy Halloween as an adult.  :frown: I had to go to a fertility clinic in my costume on Wednesday to leave a sample and I was a giant penguin.  :lol: