Hilarious Things At Your Office

[puniraptor]

on a hilarious note:

white elephant gift exchange was an hilarious failure. Stealing gifts is culturally contraindicated. the game was "choose a gift off the table and return to your seat". even the first person refused to swap out his horrible gift!

[pissclams]

White elephants are right up there with ugly sweater parties, dumb

dude in front of me unwrapped an 8 pack of double a batteries and a $50 gift card which I promptly stole from his ass

[bubbles4ksu]

mocking accents of multilingual people isn't racist but it's still kind of an insensitive and ignorant thing to do.

[Kat Kid]

I do find it very funny that all language classes, once you reach a certain level, in the United States place an unbelievable amount of importance upon adopting the accent of the target language.

[ben ji]

We have a customer who's home office is in the Netherlands and I've been emailing back and forth with "Bae" all day. 

[Dugout DickStone]

Xmas party at fancy downtown hotel last Saturday.  Company got everyone hotel rooms so binge.  One new employee fell down

[star seed 7]

Newbies smdh

[Emo EMAW]

As long as no one slept with someone else's wife it was a success.

[IPA4Me]

As long as no one slept with someone else's wife it was a success.

We're not talking a for profit college staff party.

[Dugout DickStone]

 

As long as no one slept with someone else's wife it was a success.

We are hot professionals, that doesn't happen

[Emo EMAW]

As long as no one slept with someone else's wife it was a success.

We're not talking a for profit college staff party.

It can happen anywhere bruh.

[KITNfury]

"Everybody put your keys in this bowl! "

[michigancat]

Two dogs got in a pretty bad fight and a senior VP got bitten pretty badly trying to break it up. Wouldn't be as hilarious if the VP was a nice guy but it still would have been kind of hilarious.

[michigancat]

Also, this email was sent earlier this week:

We all love our office pups and are very lucky to have a space where they're allowed. 


To date, our dog rules have been pretty 'lax, but as we continue to grow, we need to implement some rules for bringing your pet into the office. 


1. Our lease only allows for 2 dogs, so we are limiting to 2 dogs a day. Any more than that and they get a little rambunctious. Our space isn't a dog park. If you plan on bringing in your dog to work please slack and @mention other dog owners so they know who's pup will be in the office that day. When the first floor opens, we can have 4 dogs (2 per floor). 


2. Keep an eye on your pup. This is for their safety and the safety of everyone else in the office. If you don't think you'll have the bandwidth to monitor your perro, best leave them at home. 


3. Help prevent accidents. Every dog here has had an accident (either at xxx street or here). Help keep it to a minimum by taking them out for a walk and making sure they do their business. And if they do have an accident please do the responsible thing and clean up after your pup. 


Also, just some general guidelines we should maintain for everyone's health and safety:

Dogs must be properly licensed and vaccinated.

Owners must be currently and consistently administering preventative flea treatment.

All pets should be in good health. Free of fleas or any disease that is communicable to other animals in the office or to humans. Like humans, pets that are ill should stay at home.

Take pet home if behavior interferes with an employee’s ability to work (i.e. aggressive behavior, growling, barking, chasing, jumping, biting).

One formal behavior complaint results in mandatory behavioral training before the dog can re-enter the office. All complaints can be sent to xxxxx

Pets should be properly potty trained. After a dog’s third accident (vomit not included), a 4-week ban from the office will be mandated in order to allow for appropriate training.

Replace any office items that are damaged by your pet.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions.


Thanks!

[star seed 7]

Jfc

[ben ji]

That email belongs in the SF things thread as well.



I mean, WTF

One formal behavior complaint results in mandatory behavioral training before the dog can re-enter the office. All complaints can be sent to xxxxx

[michigancat]

That email belongs in the SF things thread as well.



I mean, WTF

One formal behavior complaint results in mandatory behavioral training before the dog can re-enter the office. All complaints can be sent to xxxxx

I thought it was crazy they got three accidents before probation

[Brock Landers]

WTF. Dogs are great, but they simply don't belong at work.

[Pete]

WTF. Dogs are great, but they simply don't belong at work.

Completely agree

[_33]

Michigancat, would any of your colleagues get upset if your work just said 'ok no more dogs, it's more trouble than it's worth'?  Why are they doing this?  I just don't understand it. 

[star seed 7]

WTF. Dogs are great, but they simply don't belong at work.

dogs of shitty owners don't belong at work

[sys]

dogs would improve 99% of workplaces.  prolly 75% of michigancat's office humans should be fired though.

[star seed 7]

dogs would improve 99% of workplaces.  prolly 75% of michigancat's office humans should be fired though.

absolutely

[Tobias]

shitty owners don't belong at work

[sys]

also, people need offices.  almost all of these problems are really communal workspace sourced.