2nd worst town in Kansas

[star seed 7]

My high school league from best to worst. I might be forgetting a few, but none of these places are worth remembering.

Hillsboro: Clean living people close to McPherson which is one of the better towns in KS
Hesston: More clean living people with decent jobs
Lindsborg-Smoky Valley: People dedicated to their Swedish culture, weird but not messy

Wichita-Collegiate: actually idk where this goes, probably #1

Hoistington - Just a town on K-4
Haven- Ahead of the curve for declining rural towns
Sterling - Boring people doing drugs for ANY sense of excitement
Ellinwood - Oily yet poor
Marion - Always got a hillbilly feel from these people

Nickerson: My god. A suburb of Hutchinson. Voodooville would be a more appropriate name. Poor and mean.

These places are made up.

[WillieWatanabe]

I've played golf in Horton a couple times.

ME 2!

regional golf tourney in high school. i did bad and felt bad.

[slobber]

I've played golf in Horton a couple times.

ME 2!

regional golf tourney in high school. i did bad and felt bad.

it wasn't your fault

[Emo EMAW]

doesn't Liberal have a little shitty strip club that they moved over onto the Oklahoma side of the line?

Oh man, there's an Emo EMAW story. 

[Bloodfart]

One of my bros is a slumlord in Ark City.  He once bought a house there for $2,500.   

I EMAT'd (Every Man A Tiger) at Cowley CC for couple of years before heading up to KSU.  Ark City is kind of dumpy and I may even have lived in your bro's slum house but Ark City couldn't really be a contender for 2nd worst town in the state.....could it??

Absolutely not a contender.  They have a brand new medical facility.  http://www.sckrmc.com/getpage.php?name=index

[bubbles4ksu]

doesn't Liberal have a little shitty strip club that they moved over onto the Oklahoma side of the line?

Oh man, there's an Emo EMAW story. 

do tell.

[ChiComCat]

Yea, I vote Parsons

[TheHamburglar]

On Bubbles post, I found something very interesting about the perception of small towns.  I listed the populations of each city in bold.

My high school league from best to worst. I might be forgetting a few, but none of these places are worth remembering.

Hillsboro 2,993: Clean living people close to McPherson which is one of the better towns in KS
Hesston 3,709: More clean living people with decent jobs
Lindsborg 3,458-Smoky Valley: People dedicated to their Swedish culture, weird but not messy

Wichita-Collegiate ignore: actually idk where this goes, probably #1

Hoistington 2,706- Just a town on K-4
Haven 1,237- Ahead of the curve for declining rural towns
Sterling 2,328- Boring people doing drugs for ANY sense of excitement
Ellinwood 2,131- Oily yet poor
Marion 1,927- Always got a hillbilly feel from these people

Nickerson 1,070: My god. A suburb of Hutchinson. Voodooville would be a more appropriate name. Poor and mean.

It appears that by Bubbles standards, a town clearly needs at least 2,900 residents for a base to create a nice place to live.  Apparently 2,900 is the magic number to have enough commerce to sustain nice stores and enough tax base for a nice, clean infrastructure.  I would also like to point out that Hoisington, with a population of 2,700 is in the middle ground and also got a middle ground response from Bubbles.  Nothing positive or negative, just "a town".

If you have a population above 2,900 and still can't get it together, then you should qualify for this "Coffeeville Shithole" award as Heston, Hillsboro, and Lindsborg have shown that is a large enough population to get your crap together.

[Emo EMAW]

doesn't Liberal have a little shitty strip club that they moved over onto the Oklahoma side of the line?

Oh man, there's an Emo EMAW story. 

do tell.

Was there for pheasant opener.  Apparently the place (this was in still in Liberal) had just lost their license so the three strippers there were forced to dance in like bikini's.  There were two younger stripers (one white, one hispanic, both pretty dern good for Liberal) and then one older queen stripper (pretty gross and mean).  Technically the bar was a different business (for license reasons or something) than the strip club so you had to exit the strip club to buy pitchers of beer (super cheap) and then bring the pitcher back to the strip club.  When we first walked in it was packed with some hunters and then a bunch of locals of hispanic descent.  We were looking for place to sit and people got shifty and the queen stripper yelled at us to sit down and I was forced to sit in a chair that didn't have a cushion, so like my ass fell through the frame a little bit.  After a while the queen stripper did this move where she laid on the stage and hooked the heel of her stripper shoes on the bar.  She seemed like she lacked the flexibility to unhook it so I pointed and laughed and said "she's stuck!"  Well she heard me only she thought I said "she sucks."  She was pissed and jumped up with her belt and was yelling at me to take off my shirt and she was trying to get my belt off and she was going to beat the crap out of me and then this big ole boy stands up and proclaims "ma'am I'll take his beatin'."  She lit into him pretty good.  I was pretty scared.

[RickRampus]

doesn't Liberal have a little shitty strip club that they moved over onto the Oklahoma side of the line?

Oh man, there's an Emo EMAW story. 

do tell.

Was there for pheasant opener.  Apparently the place (this was in still in Liberal) had just lost their license so the three strippers there were forced to dance in like bikini's.  There were two younger stripers (one white, one hispanic, both pretty dern good for Liberal) and then one older queen stripper (pretty gross and mean).  Technically the bar was a different business (for license reasons or something) than the strip club so you had to exit the strip club to buy pitchers of beer (super cheap) and then bring the pitcher back to the strip club.  When we first walked in it was packed with some hunters and then a bunch of locals of hispanic descent.  We were looking for place to sit and people got shifty and the queen stripper yelled at us to sit down and I was forced to sit in a chair that didn't have a cushion, so like my ass fell through the frame a little bit.  After a while the queen stripper did this move where she laid on the stage and hooked the heel of her stripper shoes on the bar.  She seemed like she lacked the flexibility to unhook it so I pointed and laughed and said "she's stuck!"  Well she heard me only she thought I said "she sucks."  She was pissed and jumped up with her belt and was yelling at me to take off my shirt and she was trying to get my belt off and she was going to beat the crap out of me and then this big ole boy stands up and proclaims "ma'am I'll take his beatin'."  She lit into him pretty good.  I was pretty scared.

welp, Liberal ftw

[CNS]

Did her rage at you give her super stripper strength that allowed her to yank her skank shoe free, or was there an awkward moment there where she wanted nothing more than to threaten you but couldnt until she unhooked her shoe?

[slobber]

doesn't Liberal have a little shitty strip club that they moved over onto the Oklahoma side of the line?

Oh man, there's an Emo EMAW story. 

do tell.

Was there for pheasant opener.  Apparently the place (this was in still in Liberal) had just lost their license so the three strippers there were forced to dance in like bikini's.  There were two younger stripers (one white, one hispanic, both pretty dern good for Liberal) and then one older queen stripper (pretty gross and mean).  Technically the bar was a different business (for license reasons or something) than the strip club so you had to exit the strip club to buy pitchers of beer (super cheap) and then bring the pitcher back to the strip club.  When we first walked in it was packed with some hunters and then a bunch of locals of hispanic descent.  We were looking for place to sit and people got shifty and the queen stripper yelled at us to sit down and I was forced to sit in a chair that didn't have a cushion, so like my ass fell through the frame a little bit. After a while the queen stripper did this move where she laid on the stage and hooked the heel of her stripper shoes on the bar.  She seemed like she lacked the flexibility to unhook it so I pointed and laughed and said "she's stuck!"  Well she heard me only she thought I said "she sucks."  She was pissed and jumped up with her belt and was yelling at me to take off my shirt and she was trying to get my belt off and she was going to beat the crap out of me and then this big ole boy stands up and proclaims "ma'am I'll take his beatin'."  She lit into him pretty good.  I was pretty scared.

Elaborate this part of the story. I feel like you are leaving out details and not telling this story with enough zeal.

[OK_Cat]

http://www.gctelegram.com/news/Valens-new-pastor-in-Syracuse-12-18-12

Frankie Valens is the preacher of a church in Syracuse.  That probably bumps them to the "doesn't suck" list, right?

[Reboulet]

The map of county health rankings on page 13 of this pdf from the Kansas Health Institute shows how horrible things are in SE KS.
http://media.khi.org/news/documents/2009/09/03/KansasCountyHealthRankings2009.pdf

I had to spend a few days in Girard (county seat of Crawford County, west of Pittsburg) for work, so that wins my vote. Pittsburg and Parsons are charming in comparison.

I assume life in Fort Scott is terrible, based on driving through. Same with Ottawa.

[Institutional Control]

I bet you see no less than 20 anti-abortion signs between Pittsburg and Galena.

I don't think Parsons is in the same discussion as some of these other towns. It's kind of old and run down but it's not terrible.

[Institutional Control]

I assume life in Fort Scott is terrible, based on driving through. Same with Ottawa.

You need to take a tour of the fort at Fort Scott. Awesome.

[Bloodfart]

I bet you see no less than 20 anti-abortion signs between Pittsburg and Galena.

I don't think Parsons is in the same discussion as some of these other towns. It's kind of old and run down but it's not terrible.

Parsons also has a decent medical facility.  It couldn't be that bad.

[slobber]

I bet you see no less than 20 anti-abortion signs between Pittsburg and Galena.

I don't think Parsons is in the same discussion as some of these other towns. It's kind of old and run down but it's not terrible.

Parsons also has a decent medical facility.  It couldn't be that bad.

Horton has a triage unit established by FEMA. It's a permanent facility.

[felix rex]

Now I just want to see photoshops of city limit signs and post cards with awkwardly true assessments of the nominated town.

[Bloodfart]

I bet you see no less than 20 anti-abortion signs between Pittsburg and Galena.

I don't think Parsons is in the same discussion as some of these other towns. It's kind of old and run down but it's not terrible.

Parsons also has a decent medical facility.  It couldn't be that bad.

Horton has a triage unit established by FEMA. It's a permanent facility.

 

[felix rex]

Yes. Get out of here with that Ft Scott talk. I'm PRETTY sure their high school had a Pizza Hut. PRETTY SURE.

[0.42]

On Bubbles post, I found something very interesting about the perception of small towns.  I listed the populations of each city in bold.

My high school league from best to worst. I might be forgetting a few, but none of these places are worth remembering.

Hillsboro 2,993: Clean living people close to McPherson which is one of the better towns in KS
Hesston 3,709: More clean living people with decent jobs
Lindsborg 3,458-Smoky Valley: People dedicated to their Swedish culture, weird but not messy

Wichita-Collegiate ignore: actually idk where this goes, probably #1

Hoistington 2,706- Just a town on K-4
Haven 1,237- Ahead of the curve for declining rural towns
Sterling 2,328- Boring people doing drugs for ANY sense of excitement
Ellinwood 2,131- Oily yet poor
Marion 1,927- Always got a hillbilly feel from these people

Nickerson 1,070: My god. A suburb of Hutchinson. Voodooville would be a more appropriate name. Poor and mean.

It appears that by Bubbles standards, a town clearly needs at least 2,900 residents for a base to create a nice place to live.  Apparently 2,900 is the magic number to have enough commerce to sustain nice stores and enough tax base for a nice, clean infrastructure.  I would also like to point out that Hoisington, with a population of 2,700 is in the middle ground and also got a middle ground response from Bubbles.  Nothing positive or negative, just "a town".

If you have a population above 2,900 and still can't get it together, then you should qualify for this "Coffeeville Shithole" award as Heston, Hillsboro, and Lindsborg have shown that is a large enough population to get your crap together.

 

[Reboulet]

Now I just want to see photoshops of city limit signs and post cards with awkwardly true assessments of the nominated town.

There is a sign on I-70 that says "WaKeeney: It's Affordable". Always struck me as a pretty sad boast.

[ChiComCat]

Saddest Boast: "Assaria: If you lived here you'd be home by now"

[bigwillie20]

Now I just want to see photoshops of city limit signs and post cards with awkwardly true assessments of the nominated town.

There is a sign on I-70 that says "WaKeeney: It's Affordable". Always struck me as a pretty sad boast.

 

"We're Poors"