the federal government has no right or reason to recognize "marriage" under any definition or in any capacity.
immigration, taxes. i imagine there are other issues but those are huge. if the laws are going to exist, then the govt needs to not apply them in a discriminatory basis.
A guy I know had a commitment ceremony with his partner several years ago, and he considered himself married. He and his partner went to New York and got legally married solely because they wanted to make sure they had the same rights to death benefits, asset allocation, and medical decision making that heterosexual couples had.
I always knew that was a huge part of the issue, but it struck me as sad that you could spend your entire life with someone building a home, accumulating wealth, etc. and if that person were laying in bed on a respirator, you didn't have the legal right to decide the outcome of that person should the worst case scenario come to pass. And if it did, you wouldn't necessarily have a right to their benefits after they died.
I had never really been for or against gay marriage until we had a frank conversation about it. I've been pretty staunchly for it ever since.