Weird emails/texts from your parents or grandparents

[XocolateThundarr]

I can see getting the exact same message from my dad.

[ben ji]

"Smells nu with 11 miles" is a great answer to your question.

[Mrs. Gooch]

My mom just used the term butt hurt in a text although she was paraphrasing someone else so I am not sure if she knows what that means.

[Emo EMAW]

My mom has told me not to be butt hurt before. 

[Mrs. Gooch]

My mom just used the term butt hurt in a text although she was paraphrasing someone else so I am not sure if she knows what that means.

Now she just texted me "What's butt hurt mean?"   

[ben ji]

No idea if he meant to call us "Chitren" instead of children but I'll let it slide.

Dearest Chitren,

What Dad wants for Christmas - a written list of your goals.

Now some knowledge / wisdom transfer.

---------------------------------------------------------------- 

The most important email ever !

Your health !

"When you have your health, you have everything!"

Most people never realize that until they do not have their health.

Once you get a disease, are very over weight, etc you are pretty well screwed.

Be smart.  Get out in front of it.  Take preventive action.  Educate yourself.

#1 - no pop (especially diet pop - which increases your appetite)

#2 - understand that many diseases are caused by going 20-40 years deficient of particular trace minerals and vitamins.

#3 - understand that "free radicals" create an environment for disease and cancer

#4 - know what you can do to eliminate free radicals (vitamin E, green tea, bee pollen)

#5 - keep your immune system strong  (bee pollen, avoid toxins)

#6 - eliminate toxins from your body (exercise, bee pollen)

I will provide you with bee pollen, if you will use it.  It is too valuable to waste.

Exercise is so important in keeping your body healthy as it greatly helps to flush toxins out of your body plus it strengths muscles (heart).

The two big killers are heart disease and cancer.  The two best defenses are half an aspirin a day and eating bee pollen daily.


----------------   did you catch that  ????   ---------------   


The two biggest killers are heart disease and cancer.  The two best defenses are half an aspirin a day and eating bee pollen daily.


Most likely no body will ever provide you with more valuable information in your life time.

Now the million dollar question is "will you use this information" ?

Looking out for my chitren,
Dad

PS - eating a couple bananas a week is very helpful - magnesium and phosphorus
Really good for blood flow and your heart.  May help with headaches also as magnesium helps to open up the blood vessels.

PSS - the goal is not so much longevity, but rather being healthy in your old age so that you can truly enjoy it.

PSSS - appreciate the good things you have in life now, the little things - even a good cup of hot coffee int he morning, the relaxation after a good stretch, your good health.

 

[Emo EMAW]

Most likely no body will ever provide you with more valuable information in your life time.

[Mr Bread]

Teach him about post scripts as a reward. 

[Spracne]

In the pocket of Big Bee Pollen. Sad.

[Mr Bread]

So you just eat the bee pollen or can you do bumps?  Can you boof or suitcase it?  It would avoid the digestive system and go strait into the blood stream.  Less wasteful. 

[ben ji]

So you just eat the bee pollen or can you do bumps?  Can you boof or suitcase it?  It would avoid the digestive system and go strait into the blood stream.  Less wasteful.

You just eat it man, kind of looks like bread crumbs...just grab a pinch and throw it back.

[star seed 7]

Sounds boofable

[pissclams]

who knew that all of this bee pollen that i've been jamming up my ass for all these years would one day save my life?  not I. 

[Fldermaus]

Don't mean to be too pedantic here, but pollen comes from flowers, not bees.

[pissclams]

Don't mean to be too pedantic here, but pollen comes from flowers, not bees.

not sure what type of bee pollen you're selling here, bud, but this comment of yours is just modern day jackassery in its finest form

[Dr Rick Daris]

what we have here is your classic bee polleners vs flower polleners. i'm one of very few board pollen moderates. now can we see some pollen bipartisanship here? doubtful. very. sometimes i just smdh at you guys on this site.

[The1BigWillie]

Ben Ji's dad really really wants to live a really really long time.  I don't think I want to live past 80.  Ben Ji can you ask your dad what he could recommend for someone who wants to stay really healthy until he's 80 and then die?

[Unruly]

Ben Ji's dad really really wants to live a really really long time.  I don't think I want to live past 80.  Ben Ji can you ask your dad what he could recommend for someone who wants to stay really healthy until he's 80 and then die?

Trim 3:16 til 80 then smith & wesson.

[The1BigWillie]

Ben Ji's dad really really wants to live a really really long time.  I don't think I want to live past 80.  Ben Ji can you ask your dad what he could recommend for someone who wants to stay really healthy until he's 80 and then die?

Trim 3:16 til 80 then smith & wesson.

Can I find Trim 3:16 on Google? I like this...

Also @Ben Ji... please post your goals?

[Brock Landers]

Don't mean to be too pedantic here, but pollen comes from flowers, not bees.

Have to admit, I am a total bee pollen noob.  Seems like it should be pretty gross but it's actually good for you somehow?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bee_pollen

Bee pollen is the pollen ball that has been packed by worker honeybees into pellets. Bee bread is the bee pollen with added honey and bee secretions and stored in brood cells,[1] chambers of wood and mud created by female ground-nesting bees.[2] When the pollen ball is complete, a single female lays an egg on top of the pollen ball, and seals the brood cell.[3] Pollen balls are harvested as food for humans. Bee pollen is sometimes referred to as ambrosia.[4]

Foraging bees bring pollen back to the hive, where they pass it off to other worker bees, who pack the pollen into cells with their heads. During the packing, the pollen is mixed with nectar, enzymes, fungi, and bacterial organisms. Bee pollen is the primary source of protein for the hive.[5]

[Fldermaus]

Don't mean to be too pedantic here, but pollen comes from flowers, not bees.

not sure what type of bee pollen you're selling here, bud, but this comment of yours is just modern day jackassery in its finest form

  thanks 'clams.

[ben ji]

Ben Ji's dad really really wants to live a really really long time.  I don't think I want to live past 80.  Ben Ji can you ask your dad what he could recommend for someone who wants to stay really healthy until he's 80 and then die?

Bee pollen and TONS of vitamins...alot of vitamins....My dad takes like 10 vitamins a day in his "quest to test the longevity of the human body".

The kicker is that he is your typical american who is like 60lbs overweight but refuses to take meaningful steps to lose that weight because "bee pollen and vitamins/aspirin, DUH"


So maybe just that? Take lots of vitamins and Bee Pollen but be overweight?

[ben ji]

Was over at the parents today for my dads bday. Made some of SD's famous French onion soup which was a big hit.

Before I left I decided to grab some grade A western ks beef from the deep freeze...in the process I found this.



Yup, vials of copper head venom.

[The Big Train]

as long as the parents arent keeping ebola samples i am ok with this

[AbeFroman]

My Mom made her first Facebook status update this week, I liked it, and she sent me an email thanking me for liking her status.