Author Topic: Run in with Syracuse fans (Read 6351 times)

Dugout DickStone · « **on:** March 16, 2012, 09:47:04 AM »

Today I was downtown in KC when I saw a 40 something-ish man dressed in all Syracuse gear hanging around outside the gelato store. He was carrying a teddy bear and smoking crack out of a mountain dew can. I walked up and said "you should leave here right away or I am going to beat the living crap out of you and then throw you in that flower planter over there."

So he turned to leave but I tripped him and walked across his back and into the store where I bought everyone in there a malt.

ChiComCat · « **Reply #1 on:** March 16, 2012, 09:49:21 AM »

I saw someone eating an orange and knocked it out of their hands

Cartierfor3 · « **Reply #2 on:** March 16, 2012, 09:54:59 AM »

I'm calling into Soren Petro today during the stump the chumps hour. My question will be "Soren, KSU plays Syracuse tomorrow, (long pause) so why do you guys like child abuse so much?"

AbeFroman · « **Reply #3 on:** March 16, 2012, 09:56:51 AM »

I saw a guy in a Syracuse hoodie inappropriately touching the genitals of a young boy. I said "Hey bad person you should probably stop doing that" and he was all like "What's the big deal?" so I said "Because your going to look stupid wearing orange on St. Patrick's Day"

puniraptor · « **Reply #4 on:** March 16, 2012, 10:00:04 AM »

Some fat old lady tried to sell me sex tapes she made with every Syracuse basketball player over the last ten years. I told her no thanks and recommended she just start a website.

gokatgo · « **Reply #5 on:** March 16, 2012, 10:07:44 AM »

I'm tracking them online

scottwildcat · « **Reply #6 on:** March 16, 2012, 10:07:58 AM »

I saw a guy wearing Syracuse gear out behind Porters in Aggieville, offered to preform oral sex on anyone for some cash so he could get his fix. I told him he needs to get his act together then i said hugs not drugs...but then refused to hug him.

star seed 7 · « **Reply #7 on:** March 16, 2012, 10:13:25 AM »

The local sports talk guy here is a SU grad, and I dont really listen to him cause his show is terrible (the rival station has a ksu grad

), anyway, I met him once and his breath smelled like a poo sandwich. He also tried to get me to buy photos of "pretty young boys". I told him no thanks and kneed him in the groin.

Cire · « **Reply #8 on:** March 16, 2012, 10:14:31 AM »

Shared an elevator with a guy in a cuse hat that had crap sandwich breath.

Pete · « **Reply #9 on:** March 16, 2012, 10:21:22 AM »

Quote from: CartierFor3 on March 16, 2012, 09:54:59 AM

I'm calling into Soren Petro today during the stump the chumps hour. My question will be "Soren, KSU plays Syracuse tomorrow, (long pause) so why do you guys like child abuse so much?"

And drugs. Don't forget to say the drugs part.

420seriouscat69 · « **Reply #10 on:** March 16, 2012, 10:39:10 AM »

I just ran into a cuse fan here on the strip. He called me a purple pussy. I stopped, looked at him, and then spit my ketchup popsicle in his face. I said "cool, I rather not look like a bloody pussy"!

HELLHAMMER · « **Reply #11 on:** March 16, 2012, 10:50:17 AM »

Last summer I was driving thru Yoder, KS when I saw a buckboard wagon full of prepubescent Amish boys talking to an elderly man. Thinking they were a fencing crew and I just happened to need a 1/4 mile fixed up (figured I could low ball the squared heads and get it done on the cheap), I stopped to strike a deal.

The old fella was wearing a Syracuse 3 button polo and a pair of Bike coaches shorts. He told me his name was Bernie and he'd already talked the Amish boys into helping him clean up his trailer house in Buhler. He told me when he was done with them they'd be "all grown up".

If I'd only known what a sick eff he was I would have killed him right there. I feel terrible for those little 6-toed boys.

DQ12 · « **Reply #12 on:** March 16, 2012, 10:51:22 AM »

I saw a syracuse fan in a wheelchair at the supermarket (Westloop Dillons). The orange and blue hat covered greying hair. His outstretched arms couldn't quite reach the milk.

"Mind if I help, Sir?" I said.
"That would be great, thank you!" He said, with a twinge of embarrassment.

I got a gallon of 2% in my hand, and took off his hat. His face expressed his confusion as my eyes grew wide. I took off his hat, unscrewed the milk and began pouring it all over him.

"STOP IT! PLEASE SOME ONE HELP ME!" He garbled out.

Smiling maniacally, I tipped over his wheelchair. He was quieter now, simply hoping for mercy. I bent down close to the white liquidy figure.

"Salute this," I whispered in his ear, and blew a snotrocket on him, then made my way towards the frozen pizza aisle.

mocat · « **Reply #13 on:** March 16, 2012, 10:57:02 AM »

Quote from: Dlew12 on March 16, 2012, 10:51:22 AM

I saw a syracuse fan in a wheelchair at the supermarket (Westloop Dillons). The orange and blue hat covered greying hair. His outstretched arms couldn't quite reach the milk.

"Mind if I help, Sir?" I said.
"That would be great, thank you!" He said, with a twinge of embarrassment.

I got a gallon of 2% in my hand, and took off his hat. His face expressed his confusion as my eyes grew wide. I took off his hat, unscrewed the milk and began pouring it all over him.

"STOP IT! PLEASE SOME ONE HELP ME!" He garbled out.

Smiling maniacally, I tipped over his wheelchair. He was quieter now, simply hoping for mercy. I bent down close to the white liquidy figure.

"Salute this," I whispered in his ear, and blew a snotrocket on him, then made my way towards the frozen pizza aisle.

joda · « **Reply #14 on:** March 16, 2012, 11:04:19 AM »

Last night I found all the local Syracuse fans using the sex predator site then I went to each of their houses and put an orange in a paper sack and lit it on fire. When they came out and smashed the orange stomping out the fire I laughed and ran away.

joda · « **Reply #15 on:** March 16, 2012, 11:05:46 AM »

Then today they servered orange slices at lunch. I dumped my tray over on the lunch lady and screamed pedophile and walked off.

ChiComCat · « **Reply #16 on:** March 16, 2012, 11:11:35 AM »

I will be boycotting every "To Catch a Predator" episode that features a Syracuse Fan. So, like, all of them

Trim · « **Reply #17 on:** March 16, 2012, 11:33:34 AM »

I don't really put myself in situations where I'd be around those people, but I did make a $500 donation earlier this morning to the Center for Child Rape Prevention in the name of EMAWs Against Orange, so hopefully that helps.

EMAW SP8 · « **Reply #18 on:** March 16, 2012, 11:35:21 AM »

Quote from: Dlew12 on March 16, 2012, 10:51:22 AM

I saw a syracuse fan in a wheelchair at the supermarket (Westloop Dillons). The orange and blue hat covered greying hair. His outstretched arms couldn't quite reach the milk.

"Mind if I help, Sir?" I said.
"That would be great, thank you!" He said, with a twinge of embarrassment.

I got a gallon of 2% in my hand, and took off his hat. His face expressed his confusion as my eyes grew wide. I took off his hat, unscrewed the milk and began pouring it all over him.

"STOP IT! PLEASE SOME ONE HELP ME!" He garbled out.

Smiling maniacally, I tipped over his wheelchair. He was quieter now, simply hoping for mercy. I bent down close to the white liquidy figure.

"Salute this," I whispered in his ear, and blew a snotrocket on him, then made my way towards the frozen pizza aisle.

truly inspirational.

Bloodfart · « **Reply #19 on:** March 16, 2012, 11:44:39 AM »

Was at chipotle yesterday and was eating my usual burrito bowl with extra black beans. (They'll do that if you ask)

All of a sudden I get a huge pain down low and I know it's go time. As I'm shuffling to the bathroom I see cuse fan heading that direction too. I beat him to the restroom and locked the door.

Heh, well you can imagine the destruction I left behind. I tipped my hat to the SOB as I walked out the door. Poor kid didn't have a chance. I never could stand losing. Second place didn't interest me. I had a fire in my belly.

HELLHAMMER · « **Reply #20 on:** March 16, 2012, 12:49:08 PM »

Quote from: Bloodfart on March 16, 2012, 11:44:39 AM

Was at chipotle yesterday and was eating my usual burrito bowl with extra black beans. (They'll do that if you ask)

All of a sudden I get a huge pain down low and I know it's go time. As I'm shuffling to the bathroom I see cuse fan heading that direction too. I beat him to the restroom and locked the door.

Heh, well you can imagine the destruction I left behind. I tipped my hat to the SOB as I walked out the door. Poor kid didn't have a chance. I never could stand losing. Second place didn't interest me. I had a fire in my belly.

Should have crap on a paper towel and smeared it in his face on your way out the door.

O-town Kat · « **Reply #21 on:** March 16, 2012, 12:59:24 PM »

Orangemen? Haha no, more like Strangerdangermen.

Lucas Scoopsalot · « **Reply #22 on:** March 16, 2012, 01:08:48 PM »

As I was working at the local grocery store the other day here in my hometown, a little boy walked through my line. He was wearing a Syracuse Orange shirt. I felt an extreme rush of hatred towards the boy so I asked him, "Hey there, are you a Syracuse fan?" He responded, "Yes, and they are going to beat the crap out of your pussy Wildcats!" This sent me over the edge. I raced around the counter, picked the boy up over my shoulder, and carried him to the bathroom where I gave him a massive swirly.

DQ12 · « **Reply #23 on:** March 16, 2012, 01:11:42 PM »

Quote from: Luke-KSU on March 16, 2012, 01:08:48 PM

As I was working at the local grocery store the other day here in my hometown, a little boy walked through my line...I raced around the counter, picked the boy up over my shoulder, and carried him to the bathroom...

Bloodfart · « **Reply #24 on:** March 16, 2012, 01:12:48 PM »

Where's fucktard when you need him?