hey guys, i'm an actor. it's super tough, this job of mine. i get paid a ton- basically more than anyone else in the entire world does. everywhere i go i get treated like royalty. men wish they were me and women want to be with me. i get crap given to me, just to use it, or eat it, or drink it. i eff the hottest girls, do the best drugs, live in the best places, and dictate everything that happens in my life. people drop to their knees to satisfy me and i can not give two shits about any of it. so anyways, this job, we need to recognize each other several times per year. because doing this and living like this, it deserves recognition. a lot of recognition. and i'm not talking about your standard "good job" pat on the back. i'm talking about being rewarded on prime time television, on the biggest networks, in front of hordes of my biggest fans, so the world can thank me for how well i do my job. because i rough ridin' deserve it.
