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TITLETOWN - A Decade Long Celebration Of The Greatest Achievement In College Athletics History => Kansas State Football => Topic started by: steve dave on October 02, 2010, 08:22:22 AM
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Please line up on the south west corner of LHC Bill Snyder Family Stadium on Thursday to get the crap beat out of your faces. I will be cratering the skull nuts of one NU fan at a time starting at 3PM. The line forms at the Ernie B. statue outside of the Octagon of Doom. When it is your turn I will kick you in the nutsack so hard your body comes off the ground and you hang suspended in the air for about a second. I will then punch your face breaking most of your teeth and then, again, kick you in the ballsack. When you are rendered unconscious we will roll your body into a knocked out body pile in the corner of the West parking lot. Stray dogs will piss all over the body pile and the pee will mix with your blood making it extra gross. At 6PM the face mashings will come to an end as I have to meet my mom at the entrance to go to our seats. There are Sunchips and Doritos at my parents tailgate but these are ONLY for me and my bros from the dojo. When we take a break to get hotdogs and chips you are to maintain your position in the beatings line and tell the newcomers where to take their place in line. Chingon and Rick Daris will be organizing the line so if ANYONE tries to come at me before their turn they will smash your chest and balls. Our sensei says we are only to use our martial arts expertise for self defense so if he comes by the beatings or the body pile you are to tell him we are just “rough housing”. I am rough ridin' serious about this as he will come down on me hard if he sees how much crap I kicked out of you guys. This also applies to my mom and step dad. They are not to be mumped with. Things you should know about me:
I lift my step dad’s weights in the garage. I can lift a lot of them clear up over my head. My muscles are developing to the point the government may declare them illegal for nuclear weapons or bans or something because of their strength and size. Deal with that.
I will be wearing a purple shirt with “Junior Wildcats Walk For MS” written on it. I ran a ton of this walk instead of walking.
My spinning kicks are so fast and powerful you can’t see or feel them until you are already dead. They will land directly on your face and balls and ballsack and dickhole and chest. I once kicked the drywall in an old house and my foot went clear through it into the next room.
I once stomped Craig Keller’s hand with my soccer shoe cleats when he was being a dillhole. He cried to his mom and I had to apologize but I told him later that I didn’t mean it and that I would kill his nuts if he went back and told and he didn’t because he knew I was so serious about the nuts thing.
I made my own nun chucks out of a broom handle that I cut in half and hooked together with some cord. I'm awesome at them.
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The bye week is good for everyone except UN fans. Put em in a body bag steve dave.
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I think my expectations were just too high.
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:lol:
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Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?
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The "didn't mean it" apology segment is pretty much the topper in terms of intimidation and installation of fear.
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Question?
How do you kick out teeth if there aren't any there?
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Fblixy-graphics%2Fsm-toothless-cap.gif&hash=82ef1339365eb1335748fb2767136ce771cfc247)
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The first rule is, you dont talk about SteveDave Club.
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The first rule is, you dont talk about SteveDave Club.
You think this is a rough ridin' joke? Keep your lame ass Fight Club lines out of this thread. Tyler Durden's moves can't even begin to compare with the round house kick to the face/nuts that Steve Dave dishes out on a REGULAR BASIS!
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Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?
:horrorsurprise:
I know you would get some takers SD, NU fans are so damn cocky. Plus, since they practically live in your backyard it's for bragging rights. :fatty:
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:bwpopcorn:
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Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?
lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.
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Sounds like Steve Dave is staying consistent with the theme of the week and basically opening up the face pounding playbook on you losers.
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I'm awesome at them.
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Let me tell you one thing guys. My mom won't even let me go near sd's tailgate anymore because of how many ass kickings he's handed out. For whatever reason his mom and step-dad are oblivious, so don't think they will break it up. They probably won't even check in because his step-dad has one of those camper tops to his Dodge Ram and they make sex in the back before kickoff. My mom told me to keep my distance because she said "steve dave's one of those kids that takes shop class, not AP classes." I don't think his parents went to college or anything so, like I said, I'd probably stay away.
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Let me tell you one thing guys. My mom won't even let me go near sd's tailgate anymore because of how many ass kickings he's handed out. For whatever reason his mom and step-dad are oblivious, so don't think they will break it up. They probably won't even check in because his step-dad has one of those camper tops to his Dodge Ram and they make sex in the back before kickoff. My mom told me to keep my distance because she said "steve dave's one of those kids that takes shop class, not AP classes." I don't think his parents went to college or anything so, like I said, I'd probably stay away.
sd's stepdad got in troubs for drinking and driving when we were in 6th grade. My mom wouldn't let me ride with him to our baseball tournament in Junction City.
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There will be so much nut bashing and face smashing going on, it will be more like you're at an all day nut bashing and face smashing event that just happens to have a football game half way through to give everyone a little break before continuing hours more of nut bashing and face smashing. There will be so many of these ass kicking-related situations going on that it will become confusing to people, is what I'm saying.
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I ran a ton of this walk instead of walking.
:lol:
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Where do the spectators stand and how much are the tickets to this event!?
:ksu:
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Where do the spectators stand and how much are the tickets to this event!?
:ksu:
Should probably not stand or they'll text security or something.
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dude, some kid we played against in fall ball told me SD's real dad was in prison for beating a guy with a tire iron outside of Bobby T's after 28-29
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Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?
lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.
Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics. :ohno:
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Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?
lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.
Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics. :ohno:
Go cook me a rough ridin' snack!
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Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?
lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.
Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics. :ohno:
Go cook me a foooocking snack!
Foooocking snack? Would this be before or after oral? The palette has to be properly prepared. Where's my Chef emoticon?? :curse: :curse:
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Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?
lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.
Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics. :ohno:
Go cook me a foooocking snack!
Foooocking snack? Would this be before or after oral? The palette has to be properly prepared. Where's my Chef emoticon?? :curse: :curse:
Turn off your God Damned word filter, and quit fantasizing about giving dudes oral.
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Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?
lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.
Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics. :ohno:
Go cook me a foooocking snack!
Foooocking snack? Would this be before or after oral? The palette has to be properly prepared. Where's my Chef emoticon?? :curse: :curse:
Turn off your God Damned word filter, and quit fantasizing about giving dudes oral.
Me thinks that is your fantasy. You see, when a hetero talks about oral it relates to a female. Hope that clears up your confusion.
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Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?
lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.
Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics. :ohno:
Go cook me a foooocking snack!
Foooocking snack? Would this be before or after oral? The palette has to be properly prepared. Where's my Chef emoticon?? :curse: :curse:
Turn off your God Damned word filter, and quit fantasizing about giving dudes oral.
Me thinks that is your fantasy. You see, when a hetero talks about oral it relates to a female. Hope that clears up your confusion.
You're a Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!). Now where's my rough ridin' snack?!
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Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?
lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.
Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics. :ohno:
Go cook me a foooocking snack!
Foooocking snack? Would this be before or after oral? The palette has to be properly prepared. Where's my Chef emoticon?? :curse: :curse:
Turn off your God Damned word filter, and quit fantasizing about giving dudes oral.
Me thinks that is your fantasy. You see, when a hetero talks about oral it relates to a female. Hope that clears up your confusion.
You're a Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!). Now where's my rough ridin' snack?!
Stay in your seat like a good boy and the orderly will be here with your snack in a minute. I think Big Lakes has some openings for bed space if you're interested.
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Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?
lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.
Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics. :ohno:
Go cook me a foooocking snack!
Foooocking snack? Would this be before or after oral? The palette has to be properly prepared. Where's my Chef emoticon?? :curse: :curse:
Turn off your God Damned word filter, and quit fantasizing about giving dudes oral.
Me thinks that is your fantasy. You see, when a hetero talks about oral it relates to a female. Hope that clears up your confusion.
Please don't ever use "me thinks" on this board. We don't censor, but with lame crap like that we might have to start.
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This is why SD doesnt do these threads anymore. You guys are ruining it for the rest of us
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Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?
lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.
Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics. :ohno:
Go cook me a foooocking snack!
Foooocking snack? Would this be before or after oral? The palette has to be properly prepared. Where's my Chef emoticon?? :curse: :curse:
Turn off your God Damned word filter, and quit fantasizing about giving dudes oral.
Me thinks that is your fantasy. You see, when a hetero talks about oral it relates to a female. Hope that clears up your confusion.
You're a Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!). Now where's my rough ridin' snack?!
Stay in your seat like a good boy and the orderly will be here with your snack in a minute. I think Big Lakes has some openings for bed space if you're interested.
I heard Wendy's is hiring. You might be able to put your "skills" to good use.
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Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?
lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.
Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics. :ohno:
Go cook me a foooocking snack!
Foooocking snack? Would this be before or after oral? The palette has to be properly prepared. Where's my Chef emoticon?? :curse: :curse:
Turn off your God Damned word filter, and quit fantasizing about giving dudes oral.
Me thinks that is your fantasy. You see, when a hetero talks about oral it relates to a female. Hope that clears up your confusion.
You're a Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!). Now where's my rough ridin' snack?!
Stay in your seat like a good boy and the orderly will be here with your snack in a minute. I think Big Lakes has some openings for bed space if you're interested.
I heard Wendy's is hiring. You might be able to put your "skills" to good use.
Seriously? Wendy's does not have or need short-order chefs. Olive Garden otoh....
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pittcat is quickly asserting himself right behind jtksu, very quickly.
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This is why SD doesnt do these threads anymore. You guys are ruining it for the rest of us
My Bad, hows this...
I'll be in line at 2:30 to beat the rush. You won't be able to kick out my teeth cause I'm taking them out before I get there ( I couldn't find my "uppers" after the last beating). I will be taking the lady gaga defense by taping my nut sack too far up for you to kick. I asked the guys from my DoJo in Wamego to help me but their mom's wouldn't let them due to the bake sale on thursday night.
Don't be lettin your mom sit in south endzone by my mom. She hates Dorito's, but doesn't mind the Cheddar Cheese Sun chips. You won't have to worry about my step dad cause he'll be in the parking lot looking for weird Robert ( family reunion or something). I'll be the one sportin' the Git-R-Done shirt with the gravy stains.
Maybe after I wake up from the pile we can go to Curries box on the west side and get some nachos. k
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pittcat is quickly asserting himself right behind jtksu, very quickly.
I'd have to agree. It's sad really. Do yourself a favor Pitt :goodbyecruelworld:
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:pbj: :pbj: :pbj: :pbj: :pbj: :pbj: :ksu: :ksu: :ksu: :ksu: :ksu: :ksu: :pbj: :pbj: :excited: :excited: :excited: :excited: :excited: :excited: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Thanks Steve Dave I needed that! By the way my mom is a nurses aid at a nursing home and she has shown me how to keep people from dying and stuff. So I will be attending to the wounded bodies so we don't have any murder charges on our hands. I don't think they would charge a minor for assault so I'm not worried about that but murder could be tried as an adult.
Although I'm sure it would get thrown out and maybe even give SD a Nobel prize in genetics or something for improving the gene pool by killing or at least sterilizing all the Nub in breads.
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pittcat is quickly asserting himself right behind jtksu, very quickly.
I'd have to agree. It's sad really. Do yourself a favor Pitt :goodbyecruelworld:
There's one situation where I'd do that: If I had your life.
Boom, roasted.
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Just snuck the Flip camera from my mom's computer desk. This crap will be on tape!
Husker fan, by lining up for your beating you are agreeing that your dome destruction/teste trauma can be put on this website and/or funnyordie or other website where videos of ugly losers getting wrecked are posted.
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pittcat is quickly asserting himself right behind jtksu, very quickly.
I'd have to agree. It's sad really. Do yourself a favor Pitt :goodbyecruelworld:
There's one situation where I'd do that: If I had your life.
Boom, roasted.
:facepalm:
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husker fans react
http://www.the-mainboard.com/forum/index.php/topic,67829.msg2529216.html#msg2529216
:surprised:
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Just got back from pumping iron over at sd's folks garage. I made a mix tape with Tool AND Cypress Hill on it so we hit it pretty hard.
I want to warn husker fans that sd worked some situps into his workout today. He can do AT LEAST 15, and he was still going when I went inside to get some sunny d out of the fridge.
So, if you somehow manage to land a punch to his stomach while he is distracted by making out with your girlfriend, you would just likely break your fat, crap encrusted hand that you use to wipe your ass.
Also, he worked on a new surprise move that I can't give away. So if any loser tries to "sweep the leg" you will get Zabka'ed.
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Clifford Dave is a Husker.
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Clifford Dave is a Husker.
I am almost certain of this as well
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Zabka'ed
Thanks d00ds, this is hilarious.
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Just FYI, me and my bro's will be bringing a whole bunch of those Sparks energy beers with us so we can keep our edge for the dick pummelings while still getting our buzz on. I'm totally rough ridin' serious-faced right now as I say this to all Husker fans; these Sparks drinks turn me into an animal. This one time a ways back I drank maybe 8 or so before we went to Aggieville where I spotted, totally true story, a pinkish/orange mo-ped with a ku license plate on it. Somebody probably joked about taking it and next thing I know I'm speed walking down moro with this thing rough ridin' hoisted up on my shoulder boombox style. (kids, don't do this) Long story short I had to call the cops and take the thing all the way to Lawrence to the KU guy who was actually pretty cool about not sending me to jail. Point is, our tailgate is already planning on heckling the crap out of every NU fan that walks by, but after a few Sparks who knows what the hell will happen. I never did really like you guys and there's a lot of hate to get out all in one night. Best to just not come to the game at all, but if you do want to come for some reason and you pass our group, please keep your head down and move to the side and wait until we pass, like you would an ambulance when you're driving. No rough ridin' eye contact. I cannot stress this enough. We take that as a sign of disrespect, and there's a guy in our group that looks like BJ Penn and he will sleeper-hold the crap out of you. Deal with that.
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Believe me, Steve Dave is not one to be foooocked with.
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Believe me, Steve Dave is not one to be foooocked with.
Better keep your own advice you closet Husker...
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Believe me, Steve Dave is not one to be foooocked with.
Better keep your own advice you closet Husker...
eff you homo.
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Believe me, Steve Dave is not one to be foooocked with.
Better keep your own advice you closet Husker...
I heard you sucked Paul Rhodes nipples.
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Not sure whether to PI Clifford Dave yet or not. CD, you're on notice... :surprised:
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Believe me, Steve Dave is not one to be foooocked with.
Better keep your own advice you closet Husker...
I heard you sucked Paul Rhodes nipples.
Better than Bo Pelini's... You are probably wearing Red right now. Even I know to wear Gold this week in respect to a team that remained loyal to the Big 12 Conference, and to stay as far from all things Husker as possible.
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Not sure whether to PI Clifford Dave yet or not. CD, you're on notice... :surprised:
Do it!
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Zabka'ed
Thanks d00ds, this is hilarious.
:peek:
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Believe me, Steve Dave is not one to be foooocked with.
Better keep your own advice you closet Husker...
I heard you sucked Paul Rhodes nipples.
OK. this is pretty funny.