Attention Nebraska Fans (Fighting You Related Thread)

[steve dave]

Please line up on the south west corner of LHC Bill Snyder Family Stadium on Thursday to get the crap beat out of your faces.  I will be cratering the skull nuts of one NU fan at a time starting at 3PM.  The line forms at the Ernie B. statue outside of the Octagon of Doom.  When it is your turn I will kick you in the nutsack so hard your body comes off the ground and you hang suspended in the air for about a second.  I will then punch your face breaking most of your teeth and then, again, kick you in the ballsack. When you are rendered unconscious we will roll your body into a knocked out body pile in the corner of the West parking lot.  Stray dogs will piss all over the body pile and the pee will mix with your blood making it extra gross.  At 6PM the face mashings will come to an end as I have to meet my mom at the entrance to go to our seats.   There are Sunchips and Doritos at my parents tailgate but these are ONLY for me and my bros from the dojo.   When we take a break to get hotdogs and chips you are to maintain your position in the beatings line and tell the newcomers where to take their place in line.  Chingon and Rick Daris will be organizing the line so if ANYONE tries to come at me before their turn they will smash your chest and balls.  Our sensei says we are only to use our martial arts expertise for self defense so if he comes by the beatings or the body pile you are to tell him we are just “rough housing”.  I am rough ridin' serious about this as he will come down on me hard if he sees how much crap I kicked out of you guys.   This also applies to my mom and step dad.  They are not to be mumped with.  Things you should know about me:

I lift my step dad’s weights in the garage.  I can lift a lot of them clear up over my head.  My muscles are developing to the point the government may declare them illegal for nuclear weapons or bans or something because of their strength and size.  Deal with that.

I will be wearing a purple shirt with “Junior Wildcats Walk For MS” written on it.  I ran a ton of this walk instead of walking. 

My spinning kicks are so fast and powerful you can’t see or feel them until you are already dead.  They will land directly on your face and balls and ballsack and dickhole and chest.  I once kicked the drywall in an old house and my foot went clear through it into the next room. 

I once stomped Craig Keller’s hand with my soccer shoe cleats when he was being a dillhole.  He cried to his mom and I had to apologize but I told him later that I didn’t mean it and that I would kill his nuts if he went back and told and he didn’t because he knew I was so serious about the nuts thing.

I made my own nun chucks out of a broom handle that I cut in half and hooked together with some cord.  I'm awesome at them. 

[Poonhound69]

The bye week is good for everyone except UN fans.  Put em in a body bag steve dave. 

[Joker]

I think my expectations were just too high. 

[AppleJack]

 

[Huskerpride]

Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?

[sonofdaxjones]

The "didn't mean it" apology segment is pretty much the topper in terms of intimidation and installation of fear.

[yoga-like_abana]

Question?
How do you kick out teeth if there aren't any there?

[A-Lishious]

The first rule is, you dont talk about SteveDave Club.

[Pittcat]

The first rule is, you dont talk about SteveDave Club.

You think this is a rough ridin' joke?  Keep your lame ass Fight Club lines out of this thread.  Tyler Durden's moves can't even begin to compare with the round house kick to the face/nuts that Steve Dave dishes out on a REGULAR BASIS!

[Pett]

Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?

I know you would get some takers SD, NU fans are so damn cocky. Plus, since they practically live in your backyard it's for bragging rights.

[TBL]

 

[Dugout DickStone]

Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?

lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.

[Benja]

Sounds like Steve Dave is staying consistent with the theme of the week and basically opening up the face pounding playbook on you losers.

[ew2x4]

I'm awesome at them. 

[Kat Kid]

Let me tell you one thing guys.  My mom won't even let me go near sd's tailgate anymore because of how many ass kickings he's handed out.  For whatever reason his mom and step-dad are oblivious, so don't think they will break it up.  They probably won't even check in because his step-dad has one of those camper tops to his Dodge Ram and they make sex in the back before kickoff.  My mom told me to keep my distance because she said "steve dave's one of those kids that takes shop class, not AP classes."  I don't think his parents went to college or anything so, like I said, I'd probably stay away.

[Dugout DickStone]

Let me tell you one thing guys.  My mom won't even let me go near sd's tailgate anymore because of how many ass kickings he's handed out.  For whatever reason his mom and step-dad are oblivious, so don't think they will break it up.  They probably won't even check in because his step-dad has one of those camper tops to his Dodge Ram and they make sex in the back before kickoff.  My mom told me to keep my distance because she said "steve dave's one of those kids that takes shop class, not AP classes."  I don't think his parents went to college or anything so, like I said, I'd probably stay away.

sd's stepdad got in troubs for drinking and driving when we were in 6th grade.  My mom wouldn't let me ride with him to our baseball tournament in Junction City.

[Benja]

There will be so much nut bashing and face smashing going on, it will be more like you're at an all day nut bashing and face smashing event that just happens to have a football game half way through to give everyone a little break before continuing hours more of nut bashing and face smashing. There will be so many of these ass kicking-related situations going on that it will become confusing to people, is what I'm saying.

[Hurricane Cat]

I ran a ton of this walk instead of walking.  

 

[RTB]

Where do the spectators stand and how much are the tickets to this event!?
 

[Perry]

Where do the spectators stand and how much are the tickets to this event!?
 

Should probably not stand or they'll text security or something.

[Skipper44]

dude, some kid we played against in fall ball told me SD's real dad was in prison for beating a guy with a tire iron outside of Bobby T's after 28-29

[Huskerpride]

Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?

lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.

Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics.

[Pittcat]

Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?

lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.

Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics.

Go cook me a rough ridin' snack!

[Huskerpride]

Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?

lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.

Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics.

Go cook me a foooocking snack!

Foooocking snack? Would this be before or after oral? The palette has to be properly prepared. Where's my Chef emoticon??

[Pittcat]

Is it ok if I sweep the leg Johnny?

lol at you trying to suck up to avoid a thrashing.

Suck up?? I already called one K-Staters bluff and called him out. Course then again, Catmatt would only be a threat to small children and paraplegics.

Go cook me a foooocking snack!

Foooocking snack? Would this be before or after oral? The palette has to be properly prepared. Where's my Chef emoticon??

Turn off your God Damned word filter, and quit fantasizing about giving dudes oral.