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TITLETOWN - A Decade Long Celebration Of The Greatest Achievement In College Athletics History => Kansas State Football => Topic started by: 'taterblast on September 20, 2012, 02:36:27 PM
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he had an OU polo on. i had just gotten done pouring a cup of coffee and saw that he was waiting to go next. once i saw the shirt, i turned back around, grabbed the pot of coffee, and dumped the entire the entire thing down the sink.
i looked him directly in the eyes as i did it.
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same thing happened to me but i just poured the hot coffee over his head and then broke the coffee pot on his face
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neighbors are OU fans. called the cops and anonymously reported that they abuse their kids. lol, classic. go cats.
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Earlier this week I saw a Camry with Oklahoma tags parked on a side street as I was walking to my parking garage. I went right up to the car and keyed a big "GO KSU" into it. Showed him!
EMAW!
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Just ran in to one in our break room too. I was finishing up getting some tea from the big cooler when he came in to get some too. I looked at him and said, "Hey sooner, check this out." Then I took the lid off the cooler, worked up a huge lugie, and spit right in his face.
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Earlier this week I saw a Camry with Oklahoma tags parked on a side street as I was walking to my parking garage. I went right up to the car and keyed a big "GO KSU" into it. Showed him!
EMAW!
hope you didn't get too much rust on your keys and pants. cause you know, OU fans are poor as crap hahahahahahahahahahahaha :lol:
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OU guy in our office (IT dept), left his outlook open and I sent a picture of my dong to everyone in his address book from his email address, including the bosses here.
Aggieville!
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I ran into an OU fan today as well. I gave him a buck and directions to the nearest shelter. He said that he doesn't deal with shelters since they have the whole sobriety requirement thing. He then peed on the building wall he was standing next to.
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On Monday morning I was running late so hit Quik Trip for some coffee. Saw two hugely obese OU guys with OU shirts on, Native State tags and all. Convo went like this:
OU #1: Big game this week.
EmoEMAW: Sure is, can't wait. You guys up here for medical care?
OU #2: No, we're running scrap (scrap metal) up to Kansas City.
EmoEMAW: Oh, well good luck!
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I was over at a buddies house last night who went to OU, he left his facebook open when he went to the bathroom so I changed his relationship status to single and wrote "Sup babe" on all of his ex-gf's facebook pages then left!
LOL!!! Jessica is going to be PISSED!
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I haven't seen any OU fans in ages, but one of my cousins is an OU fan (didn't graduate, obv.'s). I skipped her wedding.
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OU guy in our office (IT dept), left his outlook open and I sent a picture of my dong to everyone in his address book from his email address, including the bosses here.
Aggieville!
Oh eff, your IT must be something. Limestone's office's IMing: throw small rocks at people to get their attention and then yell message at them. :lol:
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*67'd my OU "buddy" last night. Breathed heavily for a few seconds and then gave viscous death threats. Fun!
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I saw an OU fan riding a bicycle around campus. I told him to slow down and at this point I was sporting a huge friendly smile. The OU fan said "Hey, whats up?" I said "hey you have a nice lookin bike there!" The OU fan then said "Well, do you wanna take her for a spin around the block?" I said "That would be so delightful" The OU fan has still yet to get his bike back.
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Saw 2 OU fans walking down the street. They looked really poor and really fat and really sad about how awful their lives are. I left them alone because I wanted to be nice and they were already miserable.
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Wow, I just made this old OU lady look so stupid!! I was walking past her and I started faking like I was choking and I gestured like I needed her help and she started the Heimlich on me. After 3 seconds of that, I turn my head around slowly and whisper "watch this, idiot" and I start yelling for help like she is attacking me and the cops came and long story short, she got arrested and I'm pressing charges. It was great, she was like 90. :lol: go cats
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i saw an ou fan on the court and i jammed on him and then i hit him with a 360 one handed dunk and then a two-fisted jam and then a tomahawk slam and then guess what i stuffed it again and i was all like IN YOUR FACE!!!! I PLAY ABOVE THE RIM!!!!!
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Wow, I just made this old OU lady look so stupid!! I was walking past her and I started faking like I was choking and I gestured like I needed her help and she started the Heimlich on me. After 3 seconds of that, I turn my head around slowly and whisper "watch this, idiot" and I start yelling for help like she is attacking me and the cops came and long story short, she got arrested and I'm pressing charges. It was great, she was like 90. :lol: go cats
:thumbs:
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evidently the ou guy from the break room brewed his own pot of coffee. he just walked by my desk a couple seconds ago with a new cup. right when he wasn't looking i took my mountain dew and dumped it all into his cup. coffee and mountain dew, can you imagine? what a punk bitch.
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evidently the ou guy from the break room brewed his own pot of coffee. he just walked by my desk a couple seconds ago with a new cup. right when he wasn't looking i took my mountain dew and dumped it all into his cup. coffee and mountain dew, can you imagine? what a punk bitch.
I bet he liked it.
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yeah really back fired on me. ou guy just came back and thanked me for giving him the dew/coffee idea. :embarrassed:
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yeah really back fired on me. ou guy just came back and thanked me for giving him the dew/coffee idea. :embarrassed:
You should've peed in his coffee.
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co-worker is a big ou fan that listens to toby keith all day in his cube.
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We have double monitors here. I had the folks in marketing make me some stencils about 10" tall. A 3, a 5, and a 7. Our shipping clerk, OU guy, was distracted, so I spray painted a purple 3 and 5 on his left monitor, then a red 7 on his right one. He is going to be so pissed, can't wait.
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OU guy in my office just said, "We're gonna win on Saturday!"
I said, "NU UH, YOU LOSER!"
He was completely speechless with my awesome comeback!
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Also, was driving home from work yesterday when I saw what I would later find out was an OU fan riding a rusted-out Huffy (you know, poor and all). Being a Sooner, he was shitty at bike riding on account of being fat, dumb and preoccupied with fervent racism, and he hit a curb and wrecked. I stopped my sweet rough ridin' car, being a nice guy and all, and walked over to him to see if he was okay (still didn't know he was a land thief). Turns out he had a compound fracture of his right forearm; the bone was out and crap. Long story short, while we're waiting for emergency responders he mentions he's an OU fan except it's all hicky and nearly unintelligible. This immediately gets my learned EMAW right the eff up. So I go to my car, get the tire iron and proceed to break his other arm. He doesn't know what the eff is going on. So I'm all "EMAW called, bro." And he's like "Wa..what?" Then I kick him square in his testicles, throw the lynch mob up and walk the eff back to my car. :lol:
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Mr. Bread is an excellent EMAW
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throw the lynch mob up and walk the eff back to my car.
:thumbsup:
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Also, was driving home from work yesterday when I saw what I would later find out was an OU fan riding a rusted-out Huffy (you know, poor and all). Being a Sooner, he was shitty at bike riding on account of being fat, dumb and preoccupied with fervent racism, and he hit a curb and wrecked. I stopped my sweet rough ridin' car, being a nice guy and all, and walked over to him to see if he was okay (still didn't know he was a land thief). Turns out he had a compound fracture of his right forearm; the bone was out and crap. Long story short, while we're waiting for emergency responders he mentions he's an OU fan except it's all hicky and nearly unintelligible. This immediately gets my learned EMAW right the eff up. So I go to my car, get the tire iron and proceed to break his other arm. He doesn't know what the eff is going on. So I'm all "EMAW called, bro." And he's like "Wa..what?" Then I kick him square in his testicles, throw the lynch mob up and walk the eff back to my car. :lol:
God bless you!
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I asked an OU guy to lunch(yeah I know, I figured it was for a good cause feeding america and what not).
well I took him to the chick-fil-a in the union for lunch and then I showed him the most recent news. Man you guys should've saw his face. :curse:
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Wow, I just made this old OU lady look so stupid!! I was walking past her and I started faking like I was choking and I gestured like I needed her help and she started the Heimlich on me. After 3 seconds of that, I turn my head around slowly and whisper "watch this, idiot" and I start yelling for help like she is attacking me and the cops came and long story short, she got arrested and I'm pressing charges. It was great, she was like 90. :lol: go cats
pffftt
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Just ran in to one in our break room too. I was finishing up getting some tea from the big cooler when he came in to get some too. I looked at him and said, "Hey sooner, check this out." Then I took the lid off the cooler, worked up a huge lugie, and spit right in his face.
I like this one.
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Mr. Bread is an excellent EMAW
It was my first time and it felt great. Never once had an occasion to hurt somebody on behalf of Illinois. Nobody cares enough.
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I asked an OU guy to lunch(yeah I know, I figured it was for a good cause feeding america and what not).
well I took him to the chick-fil-a in the union for lunch and then I showed him the most recent news. Man you guys should've saw his face. :curse:
You really got him because there is no way that meal didn't contribute to his already morbid obesity. You made him fatter! :lol:
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Just ran in to one in our break room too. I was finishing up getting some tea from the big cooler when he came in to get some too. I looked at him and said, "Hey sooner, check this out." Then I took the lid off the cooler, worked up a huge lugie, and spit right in his face.
I like this one.
I did too. The misdirection is top-notch. It adds an entirely new layer of F U to the encounter.
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Went to the bathroom and noticed my OU coworker's stupid boots peeking out from under the stall. I relieved myself at the urinal then on my way out I turned off the lights and fan on that Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!)!
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Wow, I just made this old OU lady look so stupid!! I was walking past her and I started faking like I was choking and I gestured like I needed her help and she started the Heimlich on me. After 3 seconds of that, I turn my head around slowly and whisper "watch this, idiot" and I start yelling for help like she is attacking me and the cops came and long story short, she got arrested and I'm pressing charges. It was great, she was like 90. :lol: go cats
This one is the bestest!
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My uncle is an OU fan. He only likes them because he's lived his whole life in Omaha and hates Nebraska. But it's not about Nebraska anymore. So I went into his and my aunt's room and stuck a pin through all their condoms. Guess I'm getting a surprise cousin soon!
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Saw this sooner today who's new OU tattoo was infected with MRSA. Turns out her old man paid this unemployed tattoo artist 3 rocks of his homecooked meth for the tat. Of course she got fulminant hepatitis C from the rusty needles and stuff. Now she is going to have to have her leg amputated and needs a liver transplant. This also means that she will be riding her "rascal" with the OU bumper sticker downtown to get her SSDI check.
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Guys, I'm pretty sure Mr. Bread is 92% converted. The EMAW's like a warm fuzzy blanket on a cold wintry day, isn't it Mr. Bread?
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I was out walking my dog today when I spot a guy in need of some serious help. The guy was bleeding profusely from the stump that was his leg. I asked him what happened, and he told me a junkyard cat ripped his leg off and he needed to know where the nearest hospital was located. I asked him why he didn't call an ambulance, he replied that he was a Sooner and that Sooner's didn't need any damn help to get to the hospital. I gave him directions that would lead him to the local salt refinery, and told him that's how you get to the hospital. If you don't get it, you will in a minute.
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Saw this guy with an OU shirt outside the office so i put out my hand like i was going to shake it. Right before he reached me i pulled my hand away and brushed it through my hair and walked away clean. rofl what a rube.
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Walking around town I saw the local priest out tending his flower garden wearing an OU shirt. Apathetically gave a thumbs up then slowly turned it down and kept walking.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.kym-cdn.com%2Fphotos%2Fimages%2Foriginal%2F000%2F254%2F517%2Fa70.gif&hash=7c7b97901664610d7f81c36d5987253425e6f6f7)
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All the OU fans in my building have to wear helmets so they don't hurt themselves by bumping their heads on the wall, curb, overhead pipes, etc. I lulled them into complacency by repeatedly slapping their helmets, and after they got used to me slapping their helmets, I slapped a Powercat sticker on each of their helmets. Not one of these respect OU fans have figured out that they are now Wildcat fans.
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my next door neighbor, huge OU fan, collects snakes and other reptiles. she has a huge snake collection. after she left for work today, i took all of her snakes and replaced them with cobras, then left the lids off of their cages.
oh boy, can't wait for her to get home from work tonight. sssssszzzzzz :lol:
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my next door neighbor, huge OU fan, collects snakes and other reptiles. she has a huge snake collection. after she left for work today, i took all of her snakes and replaced them with cobras, then left the lids off of their cages.
oh boy, can't wait for her to get home from work tonight. sssssszzzzzz :lol:
should have went with sidewinders
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Guys, I'm pretty sure Mr. Bread is 92% converted. The EMAW's like a warm fuzzy blanket on a cold wintry day, isn't it Mr. Bread?
Mr. Bread is going to be an absolute treat during basketball season. Glad to see he is embracing football.
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Saw someone wearing a Blake Griffin Clippers shirt getting coffee by the Cafe Q in the engineering building. I 'accidentally' ran into him and caused him to spill his Cafe Macchiato with 'just a little' whipped cream all over himself.
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There was a rather good looking lady driving in front of me today with an Oklahoma tag and an OU sticker on the back. I past her and started driving slow the. She got right behind me so I slammed on the brakes and am making her pay for everything.
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My brother in law is a OU fan and the worst kind,total t-shirt probably never even been to Oklahoma and claims he's been a fan since the Switzer days, thing is he was like 3 the last time Barry was coach.Yesterday I told him that my sister is cheating on him....He rough ridin' cried
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My brother in law is a OU fan and the worst kind,total t-shirt probably never even been to Oklahoma and claims he's been a fan since the Switzer days, thing is he was like 3 the last time Barry was coach.Yesterday I told him that my sister is cheating on him....He rough ridin' cried
Hahaha what a pussy.
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Today I saw a short, overweight slob in an OU shirt that had lots of mustard stains on it. He was walking around all miserable-like while his wife shouted orders at him. I said, "OK Cat?" He looked up with really sad eyes. "Yeah?" Then I was going to say something really mean about how we were going to kill OU, but his wife dragged him off immediately.
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An OU coworker of mine today told me my katz hat was stupid and boomer sooner. I asked him if he got his shitty hat in Norman with his degree, his repsonse?....didnt go to college, got the hat at Walmart in tulsa. typical land thief
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Today I saw a short, overweight slob in an OU shirt that had lots of mustard stains on it. He was walking around all miserable-like while his wife shouted orders at him. I said, "OK Cat?" He looked up with really sad eyes. "Yeah?" Then I was going to say something really mean about how we were going to kill OU, but his wife dragged him off immediately.
:lol:
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yesterday I saw a video of a fat slob in a k-state cut off t-shirt, a stupid rough ridin' tie and a stupid rough ridin' mask claiming to be a k-state fan. very sneaky ou, friends close & enemies closer but thats just low.
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my wife got her undergrad from OU and still cheers for them when they play the cats. tonight i volunteered to make dinner and was able to slip some rat poison into her spaghetti. she just now went to bed complaining about a really bad headache and saying that she feels like she might throw up. :lol:
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my wife got her undergrad from OU and still cheers for them when they play the cats. tonight i volunteered to make dinner and was able to slip some rat poison into her spaghetti. she just now went to bed complaining about a really bad headache and saying that she feels like she might throw up. :fatty:
T&P'S for your loss
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my wife got her undergrad from OU and still cheers for them when they play the cats. tonight i volunteered to make dinner and was able to slip some rat poison into her spaghetti. she just now went to bed complaining about a really bad headache and saying that she feels like she might throw up. :lol:
So I guess guys night out!
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my wife got her undergrad from OU and still cheers for them when they play the cats. tonight i volunteered to make dinner and was able to slip some rat poison into her spaghetti. she just now went to bed complaining about a really bad headache and saying that she feels like she might throw up. :lol:
Rick, some of these antidotes seem far fetched. But until now, I believed every one but your's. JFC, everyone knows rats don't throw up... that's why they die from the poison. :runaway:
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Guy who mows my lawn is an OU fan. Anyways, he was over cutting the grass today and he rings the doorbell so I could pay him for the cut. I looked him dead in the eyes and as seriously as I could said "How are you doing today?" To make a long story short I paid him the $35 we had agreed upon. But what he didn't know was while I was looking at him blankly, I was this close to dragging him into my home and beating to death with a lead pipe and taking my $35 back so I could get the kids pizza and a RedBox. :D
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Guy who mows my lawn is an OU fan. Anyways, he was over cutting the grass today and he rings the doorbell so I could pay him for the cut. I looked him dead in the eyes and as seriously as I could said "How are you doing today?" To make a long story short I paid him the $35 we had agreed upon. But what he didn't know was while I was looking at him blankly, I was this close to dragging him into my home and beating to death with a lead pipe and taking my $35 back so I could get the kids pizza and a RedBox. :D
What movie were you thinking of getting. :dunno:
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my wife got her undergrad from OU and still cheers for them when they play the cats. tonight i volunteered to make dinner and was able to slip some rat poison into her spaghetti. she just now went to bed complaining about a really bad headache and saying that she feels like she might throw up. :lol:
Get one last piece of her while you can. :dance:
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Guy who mows my lawn is an OU fan. Anyways, he was over cutting the grass today and he rings the doorbell so I could pay him for the cut. I looked him dead in the eyes and as seriously as I could said "How are you doing today?" To make a long story short I paid him the $35 we had agreed upon. But what he didn't know was while I was looking at him blankly, I was this close to dragging him into my home and beating to death with a lead pipe and taking my $35 back so I could get the kids pizza and a RedBox. :D
What movie were you thinking of getting. :dunno:
Katdaddy shut up AppleJack where does a person find a lead pipe?
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I saw an OU fan that didn't know the difference between antidote and anecdote. I told him to look it up in the dictionary. Right when he opened the dictionary I smacked it out of his hands. When he bent over to pick it up I yelled BOOMER and let a giant fart rip right in his face!
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Guy who mows my lawn is an OU fan. Anyways, he was over cutting the grass today and he rings the doorbell so I could pay him for the cut. I looked him dead in the eyes and as seriously as I could said "How are you doing today?" To make a long story short I paid him the $35 we had agreed upon. But what he didn't know was while I was looking at him blankly, I was this close to dragging him into my home and beating to death with a lead pipe and taking my $35 back so I could get the kids pizza and a RedBox. :D
What movie were you thinking of getting. :dunno:
Katdaddy shut up AppleJack where does a person find a lead pipe?
I got mine at Manute Bol's estate sale in Olathe.
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You guys aren't going to believe this. I stopped for gas on the way home from work tonight, and some dude in an old suit and a greasy OU hat walks up to me while I'm refueling my F-150 Lariat. He claimed his car stalled out down the street and he needed gas to get home. He's carrying this little gas can with him and everything, so I said sure why not. He started to say something about preferring cash, but I interrupted him and asked him if he was a Sooner. He started stammering on and on and claimed he just found the hat in a dumpster behind Goodwill. I'm thinking bullshit. He must have noticed my murdered out KSU tag with the chrome powercat on the front of my truck when he walked up. The guy did look like he could be homeless, but they all do amirite? Anyway, the little gas can filled up quick and I just kept pumping. This guy doesn't even realize he's now standing in a pool of premium unleaded. So I ask him, "What's that you Sooners always say again?" I must have caught him off guard, because he looked up quizzically and said, "Boomer?" So I'm like, "Yeah....Boomer," and I flicked my cigarette into the pool at his feet. Poor S.O.B. went up like a lantern mantle! Wish you guys could have seen him flailing around and screaming and crap. It was priceless!
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I went for a swim at the lake after class today. While I was there I noticed this Sooner fan drowning and screaming for help. So, being a strong swimmer I head on out there and save his life. He is stumbling all over himself to thank me, and keeps asking how he can repay me, if there is anything he can do for me. etc. I keep saying, no, I'm just a good EMAW doing a good deed. He won't let it go and follows me as I walk along the nature trail around the lake. I eventually relent. I say I need to show him something, let me know what EMAW was all about. My two favorite aspects. We walk off into the woods and I tell him that I'd already saved his #life, then I strung him up. :lynchmob:
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omg. she's throwing her guts up in the bathroom right now talking about maybe going to the hospital, but i'm like "i just put the twins down for the night and don't want to wake them. you'll have to drive yourself if you really want to go."
omg this is so rough ridin' funny. :lol:
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Daris you should hide her keys! On one hand, it'd be funny if she crashed on the way, but on the other hand, you wouldn't get to witness it. Seriously, just go bury her keys in the yard or something!
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Guy who mows my lawn is an OU fan. Anyways, he was over cutting the grass today and he rings the doorbell so I could pay him for the cut. I looked him dead in the eyes and as seriously as I could said "How are you doing today?" To make a long story short I paid him the $35 we had agreed upon. But what he didn't know was while I was looking at him blankly, I was this close to dragging him into my home and beating to death with a lead pipe and taking my $35 back so I could get the kids pizza and a RedBox. :D
What movie were you thinking of getting. :dunno:
Katdaddy shut up AppleJack where does a person find a lead pipe?
I got mine at Manute Bol's estate sale in Olathe.
Jeez that's a pretty elite skull thumper. All I got is a 4 foot long piece of 1/2 inch thick rebar. I heisted it from the BSFS construction site.
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Guy who mows my lawn is an OU fan. Anyways, he was over cutting the grass today and he rings the doorbell so I could pay him for the cut. I looked him dead in the eyes and as seriously as I could said "How are you doing today?" To make a long story short I paid him the $35 we had agreed upon. But what he didn't know was while I was looking at him blankly, I was this close to dragging him into my home and beating to death with a lead pipe and taking my $35 back so I could get the kids pizza and a RedBox. :D
What movie were you thinking of getting. :dunno:
Katdaddy shut up AppleJack where does a person find a lead pipe?
I got mine at Manute Bol's estate sale in Olathe.
Jeez that's a pretty elite skull thumper. All I got is a 4 foot long piece of 1/2 inch thick rebar. I heisted it from the BSFS construction site.
OK how did we go from pizza and a movie thanks to the trusty lead pipe, to a small concrete job at BSFS. Bloodfart, always remember lead pipe quick cash when in a pinch... piece of rebar, concrete project.
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Guy that paints my address on the curb (ou grad) was worried this morning. made me feel a little better
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Guy who mows my lawn is an OU fan. Anyways, he was over cutting the grass today and he rings the doorbell so I could pay him for the cut. I looked him dead in the eyes and as seriously as I could said "How are you doing today?" To make a long story short I paid him the $35 we had agreed upon. But what he didn't know was while I was looking at him blankly, I was this close to dragging him into my home and beating to death with a lead pipe and taking my $35 back so I could get the kids pizza and a RedBox. :D
What movie were you thinking of getting. :dunno:
Katdaddy shut up AppleJack where does a person find a lead pipe?
I got mine at Manute Bol's estate sale in Olathe.
Jeez that's a pretty elite skull thumper. All I got is a 4 foot long piece of 1/2 inch thick rebar. I heisted it from the BSFS construction site.
When the new press box collapses and kills literally 10's of raging emaw, well, let's just say I hope you can't sleep that night.
:shakesfist:
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Guy who mows my lawn is an OU fan. Anyways, he was over cutting the grass today and he rings the doorbell so I could pay him for the cut. I looked him dead in the eyes and as seriously as I could said "How are you doing today?" To make a long story short I paid him the $35 we had agreed upon. But what he didn't know was while I was looking at him blankly, I was this close to dragging him into my home and beating to death with a lead pipe and taking my $35 back so I could get the kids pizza and a RedBox. :D
What movie were you thinking of getting. :dunno:
Katdaddy shut up AppleJack where does a person find a lead pipe?
I got mine at Manute Bol's estate sale in Olathe.
Jeez that's a pretty elite skull thumper. All I got is a 4 foot long piece of 1/2 inch thick rebar. I heisted it from the BSFS construction site.
OK how did we go from pizza and a movie thanks to the trusty lead pipe, to a small concrete job at BSFS. Bloodfart, always remember lead pipe quick cash when in a pinch... piece of rebar, concrete project.
Well it worked effectively when this sweaty douche pushing a lawnmower clumsily ran over my favorite pair of purple sneeks. He said they looked better with the red dirt smeared on them then said "boomer" as he kept on walking. I pulled my piece of rebar out and knee capped him. Kneeling there he begged for mercy and offered me $35 but I has having none of it. ROUNDHOUSEKICK TO THE SIDE OF THE FACE! I said "It's a tough neiborhood bro, you could lose your #LIFE" as I strolled away using my BSFS rebar like a cane.
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Daris you should hide her keys! On one hand, it'd be funny if she crashed on the way, but on the other hand, you wouldn't get to witness it. Seriously, just go bury her keys in the yard or something!
well she's totally passed out/sleeping now. just went into the bedroom and i couldn't even wake her which is kind of weird because she's usually a very light sleeper. oh well, i'll enjoy laughing in her face tomorrow when she wakes up i guess. :thumbs:
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Ummm... Never mind.
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I wasn't feeling very well last night so I called my personal doctor who made a prompt house call. Turns out I have strep throat. He gave me some amoxicillin and told me to stay home because I would be contagious for 24 hours. Well, instead I called MarquisJet and flew down to Norman, making sure to take extra security, of course. I went down to the local OU bars and made out with every chick I saw. Looks like there will be a serious case of strep hitting campus right around Saturday afternoon. Should be quiet as a church in there. Oh and I killed Toby Keith.
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Guy who mows my lawn is an OU fan. Anyways, he was over cutting the grass today and he rings the doorbell so I could pay him for the cut. I looked him dead in the eyes and as seriously as I could said "How are you doing today?" To make a long story short I paid him the $35 we had agreed upon. But what he didn't know was while I was looking at him blankly, I was this close to dragging him into my home and beating to death with a lead pipe and taking my $35 back so I could get the kids pizza and a RedBox. :D
What movie were you thinking of getting. :dunno:
Katdaddy shut up AppleJack where does a person find a lead pipe?
I got mine at Manute Bol's estate sale in Olathe.
Jeez that's a pretty elite skull thumper. All I got is a 4 foot long piece of 1/2 inch thick rebar. I heisted it from the BSFS construction site.
OK how did we go from pizza and a movie thanks to the trusty lead pipe, to a small concrete job at BSFS. Bloodfart, always remember lead pipe quick cash when in a pinch... piece of rebar, concrete project.
Well it worked effectively when this sweaty douche pushing a lawnmower clumsily ran over my favorite pair of purple sneeks. He said they looked better with the red dirt smeared on them then said "boomer" as he kept on walking. I pulled my piece of rebar out and knee capped him. Kneeling there he begged for mercy and offered me $35 but I has having none of it. ROUNDHOUSEKICK TO THE SIDE OF THE FACE! I said "It's a tough neiborhood bro, you could lose your #LIFE" as I strolled away using my BSFS rebar like a cane.
You're a good man Bloodfart, but not a good business man. You missed out on two Super Supreme pizzas and a dozen movies from Red Box. Think of the pleasure you could have given fellow EMAWers, but no, you choose to let that loser OU fan pocket the cash so he could enjoy some greasy burgers and porn. :sdeek:
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Daris you should hide her keys! On one hand, it'd be funny if she crashed on the way, but on the other hand, you wouldn't get to witness it. Seriously, just go bury her keys in the yard or something!
well she's totally passed out/sleeping now. just went into the bedroom and i couldn't even wake her which is kind of weird because she's usually a very light sleeper. oh well, i'll enjoy laughing in her face tomorrow when she wakes up i guess. :thumbs:
Go ahead and take a Sharpie to her face...classic!
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Daris you should hide her keys! On one hand, it'd be funny if she crashed on the way, but on the other hand, you wouldn't get to witness it. Seriously, just go bury her keys in the yard or something!
well she's totally passed out/sleeping now. just went into the bedroom and i couldn't even wake her which is kind of weird because she's usually a very light sleeper. oh well, i'll enjoy laughing in her face tomorrow when she wakes up i guess. :thumbs:
Rick, now is the time too snuggle up and pull the blanket over her. You know what comes next, yea Blanket Bombs.
Pro tip- bean burritoes smothered in mexican white cheese make the best Blanket Bomb ammo. :cheers:
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I have a group of people that I know fairly well. They are mostly OU fans and offered me a ticket to the game Saturday. I accepted and we made plans to meet after work tomorrow and drive down. However, I will not be meeting them, forcing them to eat the ticket and leave an empty seat. Also, they booked a room for me for Friday and Saturday night, using one of their cards. Guess what I'm gonna say when they cal me all pissed off tomorrow? "That's #life! Deal with it!"
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Have a ou fan next door to us since i dont see them at all and got their blinds closed i call the cops and told them that my neighbor making Crystal meth. So they going to jail.
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I was taking my morning dump and I hear the front doorbell. I go answer it and it's a sweaty bald fat guy. He says his van is broke down and wanted to know if I could help. Being the nice EMAW that I am I said sure. When we got to the van it was a 91 conversion van, you guessed it, no windows and OU painted on the side. I asked so you're an Oklahoma fan huh? He said "yeah, it should be a good game tomorrow that's were me and the family are heading for our annual family vacation (super bowl). So I helped him work on his van. So I fixed his van and said hey I have something for you. I put 10 bags of fertilizer and a barrel of diesel fuel in the back of the van and a bunch of wire. He was pretty excited about the "gifts." Then I called the High way patrol and gave them the van description. I bet we hear something soon on the news.
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nice work brad
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I gave an OU fan bogus directions.
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My sister in law just gave birth to their first kid. Apparently the kid just couldn't wait to hear the score of the OU game himself so he was born early, 6 weeks premature. So I'm at the hospital being a good brother and in the case next to my nephew is this little tike wearing OU pajamas. When no one was looking I switched him with a baby wearing Texas pajamas. Hahahah no one has a clue. :emawkid:
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Some skeezer on the subway started talking about how he raped an OU chick. I gave him a high 5.
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on my way in today i walked past the desk of the ou coffee guy... i went straight up to his desk and turned off his monitor. lol i swear to god i did. then he was all like "wtf?" so i grabbed the keyboard with both hands and knocked him upside his face with it. lol that loser is unconscious right now, face down on his desk right in the middle of the office. :lol:
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on my way in today i walked past the desk of the ou coffee guy... i went straight up to his desk and turned off his monitor. lol i swear to god i did. then he was all like "wtf?" so i grabbed the keyboard with both hands and knocked him upside his face with it. lol that loser is unconscious right now, face down on his desk right in the middle of the office. :lol:
You should tell your boss he was sleeping, very obviously too because was shaking around like he was having bad dreams. Then if he accuses you of beating him up just tell him he must have been dreaming.
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This is a good thread.
Between this one and the headlines thread, it has made this month's goEMAW.com premium subscription totally worthwhile.
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I have a group of people that I know fairly well. They are mostly OU fans and offered me a ticket to the game Saturday. I accepted and we made plans to meet after work tomorrow and drive down. However, I will not be meeting them, forcing them to eat the ticket and leave an empty seat. Also, they booked a room for me for Friday and Saturday night, using one of their cards. Guess what I'm gonna say when they cal me all pissed off tomorrow? "That's #life! Deal with it!"
JT, this just backfired. Since most OU fans are morbidly obese, you just gave them the room they need to feel a little more comfy.
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Had to punch a skateboarder in the face last night and I might sue his parents. I was in the park earlier jogging shirtless when I spotted 3 middle school punks skateboarding and trashing the playground equipment. Two were doing rail slides and stupid jumps while the other douche filmed it. I felt compelled to act, so I walked over and told the kids to scram and that skateboarding wasn't allowed in the park. They called me a Narc, an old queer, etc. I told them I was cool, but rules were rules. Anyway, one of the kids came at me and I straight laid his ass out. The other two realized I was a grown man and backed off. I'm considering suing the kid's parents because my hand is sore as crap and I've already had to cancel a big money golf match tomorrow. I would win the lawsuit easy because the one kid filmed the whole thing.
The kid I knocked out looked like Landry Jones. :lol:
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I have a group of people that I know fairly well. They are mostly OU fans and offered me a ticket to the game Saturday. I accepted and we made plans to meet after work tomorrow and drive down. However, I will not be meeting them, forcing them to eat the ticket and leave an empty seat. Also, they booked a room for me for Friday and Saturday night, using one of their cards. Guess what I'm gonna say when they cal me all pissed off tomorrow? "That's #life! Deal with it!"
JT, this just backfired. Since most OU fans are morbidly obese, you just gave them the room they need to feel a little more comfy.
It didn't backfire as much as actually traveling to Norman with those Juggalos would have, though.
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i blew up southwest kansas
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on my way in today i walked past the desk of the ou coffee guy... i went straight up to his desk and turned off his monitor. lol i swear to god i did. then he was all like "wtf?" so i grabbed the keyboard with both hands and knocked him upside his face with it. lol that loser is unconscious right now, face down on his desk right in the middle of the office. :lol:
I'd pour alcohol on him and tell your boss he's drunk at work. or light his ass on fire.
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on my way in today i walked past the desk of the ou coffee guy... i went straight up to his desk and turned off his monitor. lol i swear to god i did. then he was all like "wtf?" so i grabbed the keyboard with both hands and knocked him upside his face with it. lol that loser is unconscious right now, face down on his desk right in the middle of the office. :lol:
I'd pour alcohol on him and tell your boss he's drunk at work.
oh crap guys lol i just did this. boss sent him home for the day and said he is scheduled for a meeting with "upstairs" on monday. ou sucks guys lol.
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I work with only K-State fans. A buck ten strong and all of them love the cats. I plan on leaving work today a little bit before lunch to head to Norman just to rub it in their faces that I'm more :emawkid: than they are with their dull weekends with the kids.
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their dull weekends with the kids.
lol stupid losers with families and crap
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Daris you should hide her keys! On one hand, it'd be funny if she crashed on the way, but on the other hand, you wouldn't get to witness it. Seriously, just go bury her keys in the yard or something!
well she's totally passed out/sleeping now. just went into the bedroom and i couldn't even wake her which is kind of weird because she's usually a very light sleeper. oh well, i'll enjoy laughing in her face tomorrow when she wakes up i guess. :thumbs:
Rick, now is the time too snuggle up and pull the blanket over her. You know what comes next, yea Blanket Bombs.
Pro tip- bean burritoes smothered in mexican white cheese make the best Blanket Bomb ammo. :cheers:
I've heard these referred to as Dutch Ovens.
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My boss is a Sooner fan because his alma mater doesn't have a football program (KU). I just told him if K-State wins he's giving me a raise on Monday. And if OU wins, he can go eff himself.