midlife crises

[Trim]

sys, let’s operate a dog rescue/adoption thing up here.

[_33]

Sys, you should get super into KSU hoops again.

[tdaver]

This may be more applicable to tdaver but I pictured retired sys volunteering at a park and giving tours, if they're lucky.

I’ve joked with friends that I’d work part time at a running store to maintain a supply of shoes.  I couldn’t handle tourist work.

I like to think I’d be content moving seasonally from mountains to desert, daily trail runs with pup, and food/drinks on a patio with mrstdaver. Maybe volunteer at trail races or something like that.  And of course hit a couple KSU games each year, which will be a lot easier if we stay in the same conference as the four corners schools.

[Pete]

I’ve come full circle on the ol’ midlife stuff. It hit me super hard when I turned 40.  I didn’t think it would, but it did. That’s been a bit ago now, and I am basically in total “whatever man” mode now. Some days suck, some don’t. Who the eff knows, man.

My dad died in his early 70’s of heart stuff, like every single male relative of mine. My mom has Alzheimer’s. I used to worry a lot about retirement, I don’t really worry about that anymore. I have some stuff I would really, really hate to lose, but eff it. If I am healthy enough mentally and physically to work when I am of retirement age, I should consider myself very very lucky.  If I am not, eff it, I won’t know the difference.

[8manpick]

I sometimes dream of getting a job like bank teller or something that I wouldn’t have to think about after I leave work. Not sure that qualifies, though I’ve actively thought about quitting without another gig lined up pretty often over the last 6 months.

[Pete]

I sometimes dream of getting a job like bank teller or something that I wouldn’t have to think about after I leave work. Not sure that qualifies, though I’ve actively thought about quitting without another gig lined up pretty often over the last 6 months.

I was like that for a long, long time. Not saying you are doing this, but I did this…I would drown myself in self pity about not having that option because my wife can’t work and kids need college and mortgage, yada yada yada.  Then, I tried to shut off my work at night and weekends. I just don’t open my work email anymore after a certain point, and not at all on the weekend.  They have my cell phone, they’ll call/text if something is on fire.

And, life has gotten better and I am probably doing just as well at work. Definitely better attitude, which almost always translates into better relationships and more money.  It didn’t remove all my problems or anything drastic, but it helps.

So, instead of quitting and saying eff it all, just stay where you are at and say “eff it” more.  Might actually make everyone happier.

Hilarious irony. 

[Stupid Fitz]

I’ve come full circle on the ol’ midlife stuff. It hit me super hard when I turned 40.  I didn’t think it would, but it did. That’s been a bit ago now, and I am basically in total “whatever man” mode now. Some days suck, some don’t. Who the eff knows, man.

My dad died in his early 70’s of heart stuff, like every single male relative of mine. My mom has Alzheimer’s. I used to worry a lot about retirement, I don’t really worry about that anymore. I have some stuff I would really, really hate to lose, but eff it. If I am healthy enough mentally and physically to work when I am of retirement age, I should consider myself very very lucky.  If I am not, eff it, I won’t know the difference.

I'm coming around to the same. Its gotten me in just that i'm mostly bored with the day to day stuff. Every weekday is pretty much the same and it just feels like groundhog day a lot. My dad died at 69 with heart stuff too so that has def made me think about figuring crap out way sooner. He had just recently retired and bought a little cabin near a lake and golf course. After working his whole damn life, he got to live the life he mostly wanted for less than 2 years.... bam.

[cfbandyman]

I sometimes dream of getting a job like bank teller or something that I wouldn’t have to think about after I leave work. Not sure that qualifies, though I’ve actively thought about quitting without another gig lined up pretty often over the last 6 months.

I was like that for a long, long time. Not saying you are doing this, but I did this…I would drown myself in self pity about not having that option because my wife can’t work and kids need college and mortgage, yada yada yada.  Then, I tried to shut off my work at night and weekends. I just don’t open my work email anymore after a certain point, and not at all on the weekend.  They have my cell phone, they’ll call/text if something is on fire.

And, life has gotten better and I am probably doing just as well at work. Definitely better attitude, which almost always translates into better relationships and more money.  It didn’t remove all my problems or anything drastic, but it helps.

So, instead of quitting and saying eff it all, just stay where you are at and say “eff it” more.  Might actually make everyone happier.

Hilarious irony.

I'm pretty much right there,  very tettering on getting stress free job or just not caring as much about current one. Will take this advice on advisement.

[Pete]

For the record, I waffle on this all the time and need to get myself re-aligned, but it’s progress.  For example, some days I will be back in the poor-me horse crap out of nowhere. When that happens, I am inclined to blame everything around me. Not good! So I have to DO something and get off my ass, which is super duper rough ridin' hard to do when I am feeling low.  Anyway, the point is that no one “figures this out.” It’s a life long process. Let’s just try our best to not torture ourselves along the way.

[steve dave]

not really midlife crisis related but I've been really horny for marcus aurelius lately and that kind of stoicism would benefit a lot of midlife crisis havers I think and pete's posts made me think of it.

[Stupid Fitz]

not really midlife crisis related but I've been really horny for marcus aurelius lately and that kind of stoicism would benefit a lot of midlife crisis havers I think and pete's posts made me think of it.

 

[nicname]

not really midlife crisis related but I've been really horny for marcus aurelius lately and that kind of stoicism would benefit a lot of midlife crisis havers I think and pete's posts made me think of it.

If you have audible get the version of Meditations read by Duncan Steen. He could make reading the phone book interesting.

https://www.audible.com/pd/B004IBRMZS?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=library_overflow

[nicname]

Kudos to Pete for posting real crap itt.

1. Put relationship w/ God (or higher power) above all else. Carve out time for this.
2. Take on worldview of abundance, shun scarcity worldview. Look for reasons to be grateful and meditate in thankfulness.
3. Focus on nutrition, health, sleep. treat your mind and body with love.
4. Speak less, do more, especially to help others and those in need.
5. Want/desire less.
6. Pay less/little attention to anything divisive.
7. Find hobbies activities pertaining to life (gardening, pets, lawn care/landscaping, growing indoor plants, raising chickens etc.).

I say these things not because, I’ve accomplished them or have mastered them. I’ve dealt with crippling anxiety, depression, self-pity and resentment, etc. at times over the past couple of years specifically.

Pride and ego are killers of peace of mind.

[cfbandyman]

not really midlife crisis related but I've been really horny for marcus aurelius lately and that kind of stoicism would benefit a lot of midlife crisis havers I think and pete's posts made me think of it.

If you have audible get the version of Meditations read by Duncan Steen. He could make reading the phone book interesting.

https://www.audible.com/pd/B004IBRMZS?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=library_overflow

Meditations is pretty good, probably my favorite

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

[Stupid Fitz]

not really midlife crisis related but I've been really horny for marcus aurelius lately and that kind of stoicism would benefit a lot of midlife crisis havers I think and pete's posts made me think of it.

If you have audible get the version of Meditations read by Duncan Steen. He could make reading the phone book interesting.

https://www.audible.com/pd/B004IBRMZS?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=library_overflow

Meditations is pretty good, probably my favorite

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

need to get back into this. I was doing ok for a while and tried meditating a couple days a week or whatever. Its really hard, but man, those times where you get locked in are pretty freaking great. I can sometimes do it in the sauna and its such a great feeling. Been a while though.

Also, we are getting dangerously close to merging with the getting old ballz thread.

[nicname]

not really midlife crisis related but I've been really horny for marcus aurelius lately and that kind of stoicism would benefit a lot of midlife crisis havers I think and pete's posts made me think of it.

If you have audible get the version of Meditations read by Duncan Steen. He could make reading the phone book interesting.

https://www.audible.com/pd/B004IBRMZS?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=library_overflow

Meditations is pretty good, probably my favorite

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

need to get back into this. I was doing ok for a while and tried meditating a couple days a week or whatever. Its really hard, but man, those times where you get locked in are pretty freaking great. I can sometimes do it in the sauna and its such a great feeling. Been a while though.

Also, we are getting dangerously close to merging with the getting old ballz thread.

The Manual (enchiridion) - Epictetus (I don’t like this narrator so much)

https://www.audible.com/pd/B071HY6C79?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=library_overflow

The Enchiridion & Discourses - Epictetus (much better narrator than other book. Read by Haward B Morse)

Letters from a stoic - Seneca

https://www.audible.com/pd/0241429641?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=library_overflow

Marcus Aurielius’ meditations/journal is really hard on himself, and that can sometimes get me down. Seneca and Epictetus are less overbearing imo.

[Cartierfor3]

Kudos to Pete for posting real crap itt.

1. Put relationship w/ God (or higher power) above all else. Carve out time for this.
2. Take on worldview of abundance, shun scarcity worldview. Look for reasons to be grateful and meditate in thankfulness.
3. Focus on nutrition, health, sleep. treat your mind and body with love.
4. Speak less, do more, especially to help others and those in need.
5. Want/desire less.
6. Pay less/little attention to anything divisive.
7. Find hobbies activities pertaining to life (gardening, pets, lawn care/landscaping, growing indoor plants, raising chickens etc.).

I say these things not because, I’ve accomplished them or have mastered them. I’ve dealt with crippling anxiety, depression, self-pity and resentment, etc. at times over the past couple of years specifically.

Pride and ego are killers of peace of mind.

Don't raise chickens. Gross.

[IPA4Me]

Kudos to Pete for posting real crap itt.

1. Put relationship w/ God (or higher power) above all else. Carve out time for this.
2. Take on worldview of abundance, shun scarcity worldview. Look for reasons to be grateful and meditate in thankfulness.
3. Focus on nutrition, health, sleep. treat your mind and body with love.
4. Speak less, do more, especially to help others and those in need.
5. Want/desire less.
6. Pay less/little attention to anything divisive.
7. Find hobbies activities pertaining to life (gardening, pets, lawn care/landscaping, growing indoor plants, raising chickens etc.).

I say these things not because, I’ve accomplished them or have mastered them. I’ve dealt with crippling anxiety, depression, self-pity and resentment, etc. at times over the past couple of years specifically.

Pride and ego are killers of peace of mind.

Don't raise chickens. Gross.

Garbage disposals second only to pigs.

[Spracne]

Also, we are getting dangerously close to merging with the getting old ballz thread.

Yeah, you guys are making me feel sad.

[Pete]

WARNING, I AM NOT A PRO MEDITATOR, ONLY AMATEUR!

As I understand it, one of the benefits of meditation is the “being here now” thing and giving your brain a break from your depression about the past and anxiety about the future.  Just focus on the crap in front of you, kind of thing, right?

Anyway, I kinda get that from riding mountain bike trails.  I have to focus on that entirely or I will break my legs and arms.  Couldn’t worry about other crap if I had to.  I think there are other less strenuous ways to do that. Some people like video games or card games for this reason.  Whatever you can focus on and block all the other crap out, seems good for you in moderation. That’s about as close to meditation as I get.

[Pete]

Also, we are getting dangerously close to merging with the getting old ballz thread.

Yeah, you guys are making me feel sad.

I encourage you to think of this crap as a challenge you will be well equipped to overcome!

[Stupid Fitz]

WARNING, I AM NOT A PRO MEDITATOR, ONLY AMATEUR!

As I understand it, one of the benefits of meditation is the “being here now” thing and giving your brain a break from your depression about the past and anxiety about the future.  Just focus on the crap in front of you, kind of thing, right?

Anyway, I kinda get that from riding mountain bike trails.  I have to focus on that entirely or I will break my legs and arms.  Couldn’t worry about other crap if I had to.  I think there are other less strenuous ways to do that. Some people like video games or card games for this reason.  Whatever you can focus on and block all the other crap out, seems good for you in moderation. That’s about as close to meditation as I get.

Sitting in the sauna and listening to Manchester Orchestra is way less leg breaky, but nice work finding something that works for you Pete. 

[MakeItRain]

Kudos to Pete for posting real crap itt.

1. Put relationship w/ God (or higher power) above all else. Carve out time for this.
2. Take on worldview of abundance, shun scarcity worldview. Look for reasons to be grateful and meditate in thankfulness.
3. Focus on nutrition, health, sleep. treat your mind and body with love.
4. Speak less, do more, especially to help others and those in need.
5. Want/desire less.
6. Pay less/little attention to anything divisive.
7. Find hobbies activities pertaining to life (gardening, pets, lawn care/landscaping, growing indoor plants, raising chickens etc.).

I say these things not because, I’ve accomplished them or have mastered them. I’ve dealt with crippling anxiety, depression, self-pity and resentment, etc. at times over the past couple of years specifically.

Pride and ego are killers of peace of mind.

Don't raise chickens. Gross.

Yeah. If you live in the city, raising chickens makes you a terrible neighbor. If you live rurally, it's exhausting to constantly come up with ways to keep the predators out.

[DQ12]

My cousin lives out in the sticks near wichita and they raise chickens (and have a few dozen head of cattle).  Anyway, she was telling this story about how she walked outside one afternoon and saw one of her chickens had a huge chunk taken out of its back.  She was shocked and didn't really have the stomach to put it out of its misery.  So she just sat with the bird and comforted/kind of pet it i guess until her husband got home and kill it. 

Turns out, it was the dog that did it.  Bad dog!

[CNS]

My cousin lives out in the sticks near wichita and they raise chickens (and have a few dozen head of cattle).  Anyway, she was telling this story about how she walked outside one afternoon and saw one of her chickens had a huge chunk taken out of its back.  She was shocked and didn't really have the stomach to put it out of its misery.  So she just sat with the bird and comforted/kind of pet it i guess until her husband got home and kill it. 

Turns out, it was the dog that did it.  Bad dog!

That chicken was only a couple hours away from being chicken food to the others.