Author Topic: Birthday cards  (Read 4361 times)

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Offline j rake

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Birthday cards
« on: January 12, 2011, 11:05:28 AM »
Why do birthday cards always have to be so over the top and complimentary?

"To the BEST grandma!"
"To the warmest, kindest, greatest grandma ever!"
"To the grandma who has taught me EVERYTHING!"

None of these things describe my grandma. She's actually kind of a cold person. We aren't particularly close, but we still exchange all the usual pleasantries on our birthdays — a phone call and, yep, a card.

But it's impossible to choose a card because none of them come even remotely close to describing her. I usually just cross out words on cards and then change them to my own words so that they are a little closer. For instance, if it says, "Grandma, you are an amazing person and you are always there for me," I will change it to, "Grandma, you are an interesting human being and you are sometimes there for family members that aren't me."

I'm tired of doing that, though, and it would be nice if I could find a card that is a little closer to reality, something like, "To a mediocre grandma," or, "To a pretty decent grandma overall."

Maybe I should just send flowers?


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Offline Saulbadguy

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Re: Birthday cards
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2011, 11:07:02 AM »

I'm tired of doing that, though, and it would be nice if I could find a card that is a little closer to reality, something like, "To a mediocre grandma," or, "To a pretty decent grandma overall."

Sounds like a pretty good business opportunity. 
Where did you get that overnight bag?

Offline steve dave

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Re: Birthday cards
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2011, 11:07:26 AM »
Maybe you tell your grandma to quit being such a bitch and start earning her cards

Offline j rake

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Re: Birthday cards
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2011, 11:09:32 AM »
Sounds like a pretty good business opportunity. 

Hey, you might be right.

MODS! PLEASE DELETE THIS THREAD BEFORE PEOPLE STEAL MY IDEA!!!

Offline Poster formerly known as jthutch

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Re: Birthday cards
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2011, 11:16:54 AM »
j rake you just made my posters I enjoy reading list. NTYGAF (not that you give a eff)

Offline CNS

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Re: Birthday cards
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2011, 12:23:02 PM »
Rake,

slide down the aisle to the generic card section.  Get one that says "Congrats!!!!",  "Good Job!", or even "Thank You" then simply write "happy b day" on the inside.

Simple, and you don't have to go to the trouble of starting up a new biz(we all know how much of a pain in the ass that is).


Offline WillieWatanabe

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Re: Birthday cards
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2011, 12:36:44 PM »
Take Brian Regan's advice. Use blank inside cards.
Sometimes I think of the Book of Job and how God likes to really eff with people.
- chunkles

Offline j rake

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Re: Birthday cards
« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2011, 12:49:50 PM »
Take Brian Regan's advice. Use blank inside cards.

Not an option. It's Hallmark or bust.

Offline Rage Against the McKee

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Re: Birthday cards
« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2011, 01:44:46 PM »
You can make your own card using the state of the art software at the Wal-Mart photo center. Last year I gave my grandmother a card that said

Oh, Grandmother! Please try to enjoy your last few years of cognisance. Happy Birthday.

                                                         
« Last Edit: January 12, 2011, 01:53:04 PM by Nuts Kicked »

Offline 'taterblast

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Re: Birthday cards
« Reply #9 on: January 12, 2011, 02:16:50 PM »
don't have this problem. my grandma is rough ridin' awesome.

Offline OK_Cat

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Re: Birthday cards
« Reply #10 on: January 12, 2011, 03:05:49 PM »
don't have this problem. my grandma is rough ridin' around on my grandpa.

 :horrorsurprise:

Offline Poster formerly known as jthutch

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Re: Birthday cards
« Reply #11 on: January 12, 2011, 03:12:23 PM »
Yeah, both my grandmas are dead.  But they could care less if I gave them a card. 
BTW tell them you are trying to save the planet and don't want to contribute to all the paper greeting card companies are wasting.

Offline Rage Against the McKee

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Re: Birthday cards
« Reply #12 on: January 12, 2011, 03:14:39 PM »
Yeah, both my grandmas are dead.  But they could care less if I gave them a card. 
BTW tell them you are trying to save the planet and don't want to contribute to all the paper greeting card companies are wasting.

My grandmother would call me a dirty hippie.

Offline CNS

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Re: Birthday cards
« Reply #13 on: January 12, 2011, 03:24:50 PM »
Old people are paranoid of getting dementia.  Don't send her anything then call her a couple days after the day.  Ask her if she got your card, and go on about it for a while.  Lay out some specific sounding details.  She will probably fake that she received it out of shame that she would forget something like that and fear that she is losing it.