Why do birthday cards always have to be so over the top and complimentary?
"To the BEST grandma!"
"To the warmest, kindest, greatest grandma ever!"
"To the grandma who has taught me EVERYTHING!"
None of these things describe my grandma. She's actually kind of a cold person. We aren't particularly close, but we still exchange all the usual pleasantries on our birthdays — a phone call and, yep, a card.
But it's impossible to choose a card because none of them come even remotely close to describing her. I usually just cross out words on cards and then change them to my own words so that they are a little closer. For instance, if it says, "Grandma, you are an amazing person and you are always there for me," I will change it to, "Grandma, you are an interesting human being and you are sometimes there for family members that aren't me."
I'm tired of doing that, though, and it would be nice if I could find a card that is a little closer to reality, something like, "To a mediocre grandma," or, "To a pretty decent grandma overall."
Maybe I should just send flowers?