You must sit in front of me. When there is less than 3 minutes in the game, we are up by 1 score, and the other team is driving down field, you must get mad at me for making crowd noise because the 4 year old that you are holding up so I cant see the field doesn't like it.
Your favorite song must be the John Phillip Sousa Wildcat March because it makes you feel important that he wrote a really bad song for you.
Don't even try doing the Wabash Cannon Ball because you can't.
Oh, and you must wear this shirt.