Author Topic: A Humble Request  (Read 1894 times)

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Offline hollacat

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A Humble Request
« on: September 03, 2018, 03:55:32 PM »
Welcome Mississippi State fans! I am excited to share the wonderful town of Manhattan with you for a weekend. I simply ask that before you board your Wednesday night bus for a 35 hour ride to MHK (no judgment, it was the cheapest option!) you consider a few requests.

If you can’t afford a cowbell at one of your six local Dollar General stores, don’t sweat! I’m excited to witness this vaunted SEC tradition. Luckily, there are numerous well-to-do ranchers as you creep closer to Manhattan. While your bus is broken down at 3AM, feel free to find and take one! It’ll be used as a charitable donation to the needy.

I was researching your state, and came across some concerning statistics. Notably the number of children being raised in poverty. (Source: https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a37082/mississippi-poverty-numbers/)

Lucky for you Kansans are always ready to help! I know several couples that went the Brangelina route and adopted several children from impoverished areas. We have the experience to help! I plan to host a food drive at the Ernie Barrett statue towards the southwest area of the stadium. (A plus, I know this will be the farthest west many of you will ever travel!)

Lastly I ask that you not be intimidated by the beauty or thriving culture that you experience in Manhattan. I’m sure that Starkville is a great town, but it’s ~20K population simply can’t produce what you will find in MHK. Please make sure to bring enough money for your return trip. We do have a law against panhandlers.

I hope you have a great time outside of the southeast! Make sure to stop by Kite’s for their Will Ferrell burger. I hear he keeps a Fall home in the hills above town.


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Offline 99jc

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Re: A Humble Request
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2018, 06:28:09 PM »
Manhatten certainly has more big fat ugly pig farming women...I know now why you all raise a lot of sheep there.

Offline KITNfury

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Re: A Humble Request
« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2018, 09:05:43 PM »
Manhatten certainly has more big fat ugly pig farming women...I know now why you all raise a lot of sheep there.
Big fat ugly pigs taste good though.
I once blew clove smoke in a guy's face that cut in front of me in the line to KJ's.

Offline HerrSonntag

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Re: A Humble Request
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2018, 03:52:59 PM »
Manhatten certainly has more big fat ugly pig farming women...I know now why you all raise a lot of sheep there.
Big fat ugly pigs taste good though.
This guy is getting punctuation clown-suited, today.

Offline Dugout DickStone

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Re: A Humble Request
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2018, 04:35:34 PM »
good post by hollacat.  Being welcoming to these disgusting losers is very big of you.

Offline purplehaze

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Re: A Humble Request
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2018, 05:37:36 PM »
starkville [stahrk-vil] stark: severe or bare in appearance or outline, -ville is commonly used in English in names of cities, towns and villages.

lol perfect

Offline MakeItRain

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Re: A Humble Request
« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2018, 05:58:16 PM »
starkville [stahrk-vil] stark: severe or bare in appearance or outline, -ville is commonly used in English in names of cities, towns and villages.

lol perfect

There's 25,000 people that live there, they will all probably bring their fancy spit cups for the trip here, to the big city.

Offline KITNfury

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Re: A Humble Request
« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2018, 06:31:04 PM »
starkville [stahrk-vil] stark: severe or bare in appearance or outline, -ville is commonly used in English in names of cities, towns and villages.

lol perfect

There's 25,000 people that live there, they will all probably bring their fancy spit cups for the trip here, to the big city.
I believe they lovingly refer to them as "spimp cups".
I once blew clove smoke in a guy's face that cut in front of me in the line to KJ's.