Excellent Saturday: a play in 1 act
EXTERIOR. K STATE STADIUM WITH 10k+ SMALLER CAPACITY THAN MSU STADIUM. AFTERNOON.
#1 KState Fan rests back in his chair. Time winds down in the fourth quarter. The scoreboard reads: MSU 49 KSTATE 10. Darla, #1 KState Fan’s wife, leans in.
DARLA: “I am so saddened by the outcome of today’s sporting event!” *whimper*
#1 KState Fan lets out a hearty laugh.
#1 KSTATE FAN: “Fret not! Did you honestly think we’d have a chance? Especially following that come from behind travesty against South Dakota State?”
DARLA: “What about our 11 win seasons? Our conference championships? Do they count for nothing?!”
#1 KSTATE FAN: “On the contrary, my dear Darla. Those past glories will help to dull the sting of today’s loss! Do you think the players worry about the loss? Do you think Coach Snyder will spend the night in anger? Of course not! He will simply remember the 2012 season, how the team won ELEVEN games, and the joy of losing in the Fiesta Bowl. Darla, the victory for the Bulldogs will be short lived. They must now return to Mississippi. Imagine Kansas but with trees, hills, rivers, beaches, and way more racially and culturally diverse. Those athletes and coaches must deal day in and day out with an athletic department that generates 20 million more a year in revenue than KState, a collegiate community that cares and invests more in half a dozen sports than we do in just one, and a conference that delivers more exposure in one week than we receive in an entire year. “
DARLA: “Wow #1 KState Fan. You are absolutely right. Please, can we drive home so I can sit on our porch, from which I can see 80 miles in every direction but not spot anything interesting to look at?”
#1 KSTATE FAN: “Yes!”
#1 KState Fan looks to the horizon. There really is nothing to see.