Author Topic: Dear Bama Fans (Jan 1 2018)  (Read 920 times)

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Offline ben ji

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Dear Bama Fans (Jan 1 2018)
« on: August 30, 2017, 10:42:41 PM »
I get it. You don't think we belong here in Naw Leans with you in the CFP semifinals. I've been party rocking my face off all over this town for the last 3 days and all I've heard from you is "If Snyder hadn't pulled an Osborne and announced his retirement before the Big12 Championship Game, presented by Dr Pepper, stanford would be in over you" or " Kansas State? Purple kitties! Aint they like Racoons Ma cooks for dinna? HAHAHAHAHAHA" and "Your program ain't no better than Nebraska, having to pull on the heart string of voters to have a chance at the title"

Well guess what you cousin kissing football loving sissies. We are here and we kicked the crap out of Okie State in the the Big12 Championship game rematch presented by Dr Pepper and now we are matched up with you Atticus Fitch wannabes.

I've been hearing it at every bar and blackjack table I've been to "BAMA RULES, WE GONNA HAVE MORE FANS DER THEN YOU GOOD SMELLING ELITE CITY BOYS". Well no crap Sherlock, every shrimp loving forrest gump immitator from across your obesity ridden state can hop on a John Deere and make the trip to Naw Leans in under 8 hrs.

But guess what?





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"I think my grandpa killed some body once, he never liked to talk about Kent State though"

Offline ben ji

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Re: Dear Bama Fans (Jan 1 2018)
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2017, 10:43:22 PM »
The katz fans that are there? They are absolutely rough ridin' nuts! Just rabid! Foaming at the mouth bringing 110% on every single play. Just Bonkers! When the pride of Pittsburg (Correct spelling, no H in KS) comes rumbling over Rashaan Evans to put the Katz up 14-7 with 12 minutes to go in the 2nd quarter you may start to get worried. Luckily for you our Stud QB Jesse Ertz will get absolutely ROCKED on a QB draw the very next series and not be heard of for the rest of the half while you build a 17-14 lead before the intermission. 

Then, after you eat your triple fried twinkies at half, the 40% of the crowd that smells good and looks elite will erupt into a frenzied howl when Jesse Ertz runs out of the tunnel to start the second half. Soon the Mercedes Benz Superdome will be filled with reverberating chants of "Heisman!" "Heisman!" and you will crap yourself with fear.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2017, 10:55:33 PM by ben ji »
"I think my grandpa killed some body once, he never liked to talk about Kent State though"

Offline ben ji

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Re: Dear Bama Fans (Jan 1 2018)
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2017, 10:44:14 PM »
A quick 3rd quarter score from Stud QB Jesse Ertz to WR Byron Pringle will put the Katz up 21-17 and we will hold on for dear life. Your stupid Elephant players may have a couple of good drives but they end when you miss a short field goal and later fumble at the 21 yard line.

Our all world kicker McCrane NAILS a 45 yarder with 2 minutes left to make it 24-17 and without Lane Kiffins offense you guys are mumped because there is no way you can move the ball that quick. As your last hail mary attempt is batted down by Duke Shelley at the 10 yard line the whole stadium will be engulfed by an euphoric SCREAM that deafens your ear drums.

Later that night I will approach you and your buds  at Pat O'Briens and buy all 5 of you hurricanes before asking what it feels like to play for a national championship. You will pat me on the back and say "Its amazing bud and I'm happy for you, because good people deserve good things, if only for a day"
"I think my grandpa killed some body once, he never liked to talk about Kent State though"

Offline OK_Cat

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Re: Dear Bama Fans (Jan 1 2018)
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2017, 10:48:42 PM »
Great write-up, but can you honestly imagine how terrible it would be to share a stadium with those hicks? Get all of your shots, sheesh!


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Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: Dear Bama Fans (Jan 1 2018)
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2017, 10:31:00 AM »

Offline cas4ksu

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Re: Dear Bama Fans (Jan 1 2018)
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2017, 10:48:20 AM »
That was remarkable, ben ji.

Online Dugout DickStone

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Re: Dear Bama Fans (Jan 1 2018)
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2017, 11:17:55 AM »
Playing Alabama would hurt our brand.  That school is a 1 sport cheat factory who should forfeit every title they have won in the past 15 years for cheating their asses off.

Offline _33

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Re: Dear Bama Fans (Jan 1 2018)
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2017, 01:07:15 PM »
Should probably copyright Roll Snyd before KSU goes all Octagon of Doom and makes a fortune.

Offline Mike from Ft. Collins

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Re: Dear Bama Fans (Jan 1 2018)
« Reply #8 on: August 31, 2017, 01:45:30 PM »
Don't worry.  CSU's going to beat Bama's ass on Sept 16th. 

Offline ben ji

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Re: Dear Bama Fans (Jan 1 2018)
« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2017, 03:38:33 PM »
Should probably copyright Roll Snyd before KSU goes all Octagon of Doom and makes a fortune.

Hadn't even thought about wearing my RollSnyd shirt to the game  :love: :love: :love:
"I think my grandpa killed some body once, he never liked to talk about Kent State though"

Offline BIG APPLE CAT

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Re: Dear Bama Fans (Jan 1 2018)
« Reply #10 on: September 02, 2017, 12:25:05 PM »
Should probably copyright Roll Snyd before KSU goes all Octagon of Doom and makes a fortune.

Hadn't even thought about wearing my RollSnyd shirt to the game  :love: :love: :love:

For the '12 natty did ND make shirts that said "Roll Tithe"?

Offline Powercat Posse

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Re: Dear Bama Fans (Jan 1 2018)
« Reply #11 on: September 02, 2017, 01:38:43 PM »
Beat Texas and everyone else
Beat ou
lose to OSU
Beat Osu in B12 title game
12-1 and the 4 seed in CFB playoff.

Would truly be a magical season.