I know this is Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!), but sometimes I wonder if I could eat SOOOOOO efficiently that I would never poop.
My friend asked me if I would rather spend 24 straight hours pooping and not have to poop for a year, or keep the current system. What a joke. Always poop on company time.
Isn't pooping on company time the reason they put Facebook on cell phones? Anytime I see someone update their status from their cell phone during the day, I just know that they're pooping.
I try to poop as many times per crap as my coworkers smoke per shift. It's only fair that we get the same amount of breaks. Even when I'm not pooping, at least I can check twitter and what not without anyone bothering me.
