Author Topic: Gems from TexAgs  (Read 23206 times)

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Offline kim carnes

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #100 on: December 30, 2016, 11:09:55 AM »
that dually/Hotwire one hurts :frown:

Yeah, that one was pretty good

Offline Trim

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #101 on: December 30, 2016, 11:12:09 AM »
Some of you people gave the squawk cartoon guy money for his book while dax has to put up chapter after chapter here for free.

Offline yoga-like_abana

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #102 on: December 30, 2016, 11:16:15 AM »
dax that was perfect lol

Offline mocat

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #103 on: December 30, 2016, 11:18:17 AM »
that was better than any of ben ji's Adventures in Bears with steve dave series

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #104 on: December 30, 2016, 11:32:28 AM »
that was better than any of ben ji's Adventures in Bears with steve dave series

Disagree.
Hyperbolic partisan duplicitous hypocrite

Offline ben ji

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #105 on: December 30, 2016, 11:41:05 AM »
that was better than any of ben ji's Adventures in Bears with steve dave series

Disagree.

I never got around to finishing it :(.

The climax was going to be SD getting to the border only to see Osborne and his blackshirts just outside Kanorado blocking their path. Fist fly and SD takes on Lawrence Phillips Mano A Mano to escape to bears...when Lawrence Phillips died I got writers block.

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #106 on: December 30, 2016, 11:42:52 AM »
At Oakland Airport yesterday waiting for flight to kc, guy next to me

Him: I see you have k-state on (nike ksu sweats)

Me: yeah

Him: I was glad you guys won last night, atm was talking a lot of (hushed voice) crap

Me: yeah

Him: we're jayhawks from lawrence but wanted you to win because atm was talking so much (hushed voice) crap

Me: oh OK thanks

Him: did you watch the game?

Me: yes

Him: well atm was really talking a lot of (unhushed  :surprised:  ) crap
Hyperbolic partisan duplicitous hypocrite

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #107 on: December 30, 2016, 11:47:21 AM »
amazing as always dax

Offline yoga-like_abana

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #108 on: December 30, 2016, 11:49:16 AM »
At Oakland Airport yesterday waiting for flight to kc, guy next to me

Him: I see you have k-state on (nike ksu sweats)

Me: yeah

Him: I was glad you guys won last night, atm was talking a lot of (hushed voice) crap

Me: yeah

Him: we're jayhawks from lawrence but wanted you to win because atm was talking so much (hushed voice) crap

Me: oh OK thanks

Him: did you watch the game?

Me: yes

Him: well atm was really talking a lot of (unhushed  :surprised:  ) crap
:tsc:

Offline sonofdaxjones

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #109 on: December 30, 2016, 12:25:17 PM »
Well, lots of other fan bases get crap from the 12 fans of the .164 winning % (over the last 7 seasons) University of Kansas Football Jayhawks.

So, don't feel bad guys, they're just giving us the ol' what for from their place high a top the college football hierarchy.


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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #110 on: December 30, 2016, 12:29:18 PM »
that was better than any of ben ji's Adventures in Bears with steve dave series

Disagree.

I never got around to finishing it :(.

The climax was going to be SD getting to the border only to see Osborne and his blackshirts just outside Kanorado blocking their path. Fist fly and SD takes on Lawrence Phillips Mano A Mano to escape to bears...when Lawrence Phillips died I got writers block.
Have you already used the Peters Bros as characters?  They are better henchman anyways

Offline steve dave

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #111 on: December 30, 2016, 12:33:20 PM »
any idea what KU Karl had to say about the game dax?

Karl was pretty pissed.   Not only did he draw the short end on vacation time and had to go into the office, a couple of those damn sales people tried to slam in a couple of more deals before the end of the year.   Since Karl isn't eligible for any performance bonuses he'd be damned before he spent one extra minute processing those deals for them during Holiday week . . . until he got the email from the Sr. Exec-VP of Sales (McCombs School of Business-University of Texas '05, Finance.  Marshall School of Business - USC, MBA '07) who was skiing in Aspen.   Karl grudgingly processed the deals and didn't get out of the office until 5:45.  (There is going to be a mutual validation and affirmation bitch session once the Holidays are over among the cubiclenista's about this "bullshit").   

Karla was pretty set on it still being Johnny's night despite missing happy hour, and besides, the waiters know exactly what they want (App - Skins and then Medium Zeus Pizza) and she just gets the biggest kick out of that.

They didn't get to Johnny's (9 area locations including Corinth Square, Prairie Village) until around seven, happy hour was over, and that, dare I say, didn't help Karl's mood one bit.    Happy hour prices are firmly entrenched in the entertainment budget, but Karl made an exception to appease Karla (besides, Karla had noted on the way to Johnny's, and was a little upset to see that the McNeil's and the Thompson's had already taken down their Christmas lights and decorations!!  Well, “Bah Humbug!" she said out loud, resonating through the empty rear cabin of the 2005 Honda Odyssey with new timing belt and air freshener - Glade Linen).

After they polished off the skins (they forgot the sour cream again) and just as the pizza arrived, Karl noted that there was another one of those "damn" bowl games on TV.  Then ESPN cut into that, "god damn K-State" (Karl never cusses out loud in front of Karla) warming up for something called the Texas Bowl.   A couple of K-State people (dressed in elite K-State Nike gear and drinking top shelf liquor) were sitting at the corner of the bar, "they gotta lotta nerve coming in here", Karl said to himself.   He promptly prodded Karla to finish up here White Zin (Sutter Home- Single Serve bottle) and ask for a to go box, they were heading home.  Karla asked what the big rush was, and Karl, looking perturbed, firmly said, "We're going home Karla".   Well, Karla knew not to question Karl when he got "that look", so she asked the waiter for a box and polished off the last sips of her wine.   They exited quietly and briskly, and drove silently home.    Karla noted that the Benowitz had already taken their Menorah out of the bay window and wondered why the Stevens hadn't invited them over for New Year’s Eve, yet.

 :lol:

Offline BMWWcat

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #112 on: December 30, 2016, 12:38:30 PM »
That was awesome Dax!
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Offline Institutional Control

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #113 on: December 30, 2016, 12:46:48 PM »
LOL

Offline EMAWzifried

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #114 on: December 30, 2016, 12:48:56 PM »
I sense a little restlessness with Karla. Like maybe an ulterior motive for wanting to see the Johnny's waiters.

Offline ben ji

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #115 on: December 30, 2016, 12:52:04 PM »
I sense a little restlessness with Karla. Like maybe an ulterior motive for wanting to see the Johnny's waiters.

Karl and Karla used to love taking cruises (Bottom of the barrel carnival cruise out of Houston) until back in '12 when Karla got a little handsy with the bartender.

Offline sonofdaxjones

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #116 on: December 30, 2016, 01:36:49 PM »
Well, let's just say Karl doesn't quite have that cute tush from the days when they first met at JCCC anymore.

Plus Karl doesn't have to know everything about the 8 month stint at fashion design school in Chicago and the rich daddy's girl roommate with the no limit credit card and "friendship" with every bouncer and bartender on the Gold Coast and points nearby. 

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #117 on: December 30, 2016, 02:16:04 PM »
Quote
Our shirts should just say "Our expectations are higher than than mediocrity and good penmanship"


Imagine starting unranked in basketball, finished unranked and not winning league or anything big and being happy about it??? Insanity.

It's hilarious when you bring up something about Ksuck not winning a national title, or making it to a title game, or not winning a bcs game, or Snyder's 4-32 record against the top 10 or his terrible bowl record, or the fact that he was only won league twice in 25 years...and the response is something to the effect of "KU sucks"...without admitting any of the stated facts.
Why is Snyder so terrible in all of those areas??? It isn't because of low expectations???

Offline CatMission

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #118 on: December 30, 2016, 02:23:32 PM »
Though it wasn't mentioned, I'm assuming the waiter didn't get a healthy tip from Karl. He doesn't strike me as a generous tipper to start with and the confluence of bad events on Wednesday probably just made it worse.


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Offline sonofdaxjones

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #119 on: December 30, 2016, 02:37:28 PM »
What they'll never get is that the Big 12 was, is, and will always be a football first conference.   It doesn't matter if football is considered "down" or not, it's still a football conference.    OU, for example can put a Final Four capable team lead by an All-American out on the court, and for the most part, the OU fanbase couldn't give a crap.   OU could put a team capable of going only 8-4 at best on the football field, and they'll be 85,000 strong in Gaylord Family Stadium.   Iowa State, despite not going to a bowl game in years actually EXPANDED and fills their football stadium. Texas hasn't been that great for multiple years, they put 97K a game in the stands this last year.   

Gallagher Iba is empty, United Supermarket Arena is empty, Schmollmaier Arena is empty, Ferrell Center is empty (and they're good), the Erwin Center is empty (even when they're good), Lloyd Noble Center is empty (even when they're good).   The pundits can run around all day and talk about what a great conference the Big 12 is in basketball, and more then half the fanbases are pretty much  :blank: about it.  I'm sure the KU Karl's will point out that Bramlage is empty, yet it'll likely be 85% plus full tonight and for most if not all conference games.    They hang their hat on the fact that they can fill a 15,000 seat basketball Fieldhouse because they're good, and forget that the clipped wing alumni base numbers 100K plus strong in the 8 county area around Lawrence, not to mention all the JCCC drop outs and people who never set foot in a college classroom making up KU T-Shirt nation. 

The 17 KU football fans are just mad and pissed off that they absolutely suck ass, and only had four or five decent seasons in the last fifty years.   So they try and drag everybody else down, because nobody around KU gives a crap about football (or really any other sport besides men's basketball.  Collectively their fanbase is apathetic and pathetic in regards to all other sports). 

Offline sonofdaxjones

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #120 on: December 30, 2016, 02:41:00 PM »
Though it wasn't mentioned, I'm assuming the waiter didn't get a healthy tip from Karl. He doesn't strike me as a generous tipper to start with and the confluence of bad events on Wednesday probably just made it worse.


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Let's just say Karl stays on the lower percentile side of the wallet tip calculator, and leave it at that.   

Offline BIG APPLE CAT

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #121 on: December 30, 2016, 02:44:02 PM »
Though it wasn't mentioned, I'm assuming the waiter didn't get a healthy tip from Karl. He doesn't strike me as a generous tipper to start with and the confluence of bad events on Wednesday probably just made it worse.


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Let's just say Karl stays on the lower percentile side of the wallet tip calculator, and leave it at that.

The waiters are just doing their jobs. Karl doesn't get a tip for doing the job he's hired to do, they should feel lucky he tips them at all.

Offline CatMission

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #122 on: December 30, 2016, 02:45:16 PM »
Though it wasn't mentioned, I'm assuming the waiter didn't get a healthy tip from Karl. He doesn't strike me as a generous tipper to start with and the confluence of bad events on Wednesday probably just made it worse.


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Let's just say Karl stays on the lower percentile side of the wallet tip calculator, and leave it at that.

And he figures the tip on the pre-tax amount. Why should he tip on the tax?


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Offline sonofdaxjones

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #123 on: December 30, 2016, 02:46:22 PM »
Though it wasn't mentioned, I'm assuming the waiter didn't get a healthy tip from Karl. He doesn't strike me as a generous tipper to start with and the confluence of bad events on Wednesday probably just made it worse.


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Let's just say Karl stays on the lower percentile side of the wallet tip calculator, and leave it at that.

The waiters are just doing their jobs. Karl doesn't get a tip for doing the job he's hired to do, they should feel lucky he tips them at all.

Then there was that one time Karl "splurged" on a Town Car for their anniversary and then did the whole, "I thought the tip was in the total price" spiel.  Karla was a little embarrassed.




Offline EuroCat

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Re: Gems from TexAgs
« Reply #124 on: December 31, 2016, 09:10:45 AM »
Dax, you should consider writing a novel about KU Karl. Maybe a prequel. Would love some backstory and context on his hatred of KSUck. Who knows whats what darkness lies beneath those Hy Vee hawk BBall shirts.