Valimir Putin was in a dream I had last night. It was New Year's Eve. In a bar. He was sitting at the bar next to a seat I was saving for my wife. He was with a large, busty, overly made up woman. When my wife showed up, I said, "Here, I saved this seat for you. Even though it's next to VLADIMIR PUTIN, it's still a good seat." He laughed way too long and way too hard at that. Then, he got up and started tending the bar. He was also making some sort of Russian stew. A huge parade of people came in through giant doors singing "America." Putin started quietly singing along while staring down at the pot of stew he was stirring.