A pig aggie from Little Rock walks in a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me a shot."
The bartender says, "Looks like your celebrating something."
The pig aggie says, "Yep. First conference championship."
Bartender smiles and says, "In that case, drinks are on me. How about three shots instead of one."
Pig aggie, "Sure, but really I was lying about the championship, I was out making meth drugs all day, now want to get drunk and beat up my wife."