Worst place or situation you farted in.

[renocat]

First romantic dinner when courting Renosweets.  Killed the mood.

[Ptolemy]

I can't think of a bad place I have farted in because if I had to, I did. That's what it is.

But...I was in a meeting 25 years ago with my boss at the time - suits, ties, executives around a table. We flew in that morning and had lunch with the client and then sat down to the discussion of the building plans of subject. My boss (60 years old at the time) stands up and leans over the table to point to a certain area of the floor plans and a fart comes out of his ass. He starts his next sentence with "pardon me" and proceeds to his next point after which another fart - louder than the first - blasts away. He tosses in another "pardon me" and moves into the next issue to discuss. 

Everyone around the table just took a moment to stop and look at each other as if to communicate telepathically, "Did he just fart and say pardon me and expect us to go on without response?"

I learned a lot that day.

[bones129]

I would never say "pardon me" after a fart unless the group is so small (2) that there was no question that it was me. Just sayin'

That said, I might not say "excuse me" even if it was a group of 2. Depends on the circumstances.

[AbeFroman]

Not me, but my Dad woudn't stop farting at one of my best friend's wedding reception. Old man farts nearly blew up the Mahaffie Farmstead.

[The1BigWillie]

I was suited up my very first varsity basketball game. First game of the year.. I'm a lowly sophomore and we are getting the pregame speech/instructions/motivation right before we head out of the locker room. I'm nervous as hell. Bubble guts.  I'm sitting on a wooden bench straddle style with one leg on each side and I'm near the back of the locker room.  It's pretty intense in there. We are playing a tournament and our opponent is legit.  Right when coach finishes talking I begin to move to get up and rip what was around a 98 decibel tuba fart off that bench that was so loud the sound reverberated around the locker room.  Nobody said a word. You could hear a pin drop... Coach locked eyes on me... silence for what seemed like an eternity but was probably 2 seconds and he said.. "Anyone have anything else to add?  Let's go!" 

We won.  I think I got to shoot a free throw in garbage time and missed it.