Pinball Lessons - Hurry, Slots Are Filling Up Fast!

[Deez Nutz]

Hello my name is Carl and I am offering up my pinball expertise for $50 dollars an hour.  I am currently ranked 163rd domestically and 538th internationally and I will teach you any technique you need to master as found here..... http://www.ipdb.org/playing/advanced.html I will also teach you my patent-pending breathing regimen.  For $50 you get an hour of extreme coaching at my place (no minors or unaccompanied women) (due to past issues with a liar named DGale.)  I have 6 top-quality machines that work 100%. Or I can come to your place ($25 travel fee) and help you master one of your games.  If I host I do offer a 10-minute break where I provide a sandwich with your choice from 3 deli meats and American cheese with a Shasta brand soda (the Pepsi products are for my son and me).  Slots are filling up, so email me soon to get in.  Thank you.

[puniraptor]

you will travel anywhere in the world for $25?

[AppleJack]

I used to get Shasta soda when I played soccer as a child. Lemon Lime guy right here.

[Deez Nutz]

you will travel anywhere in the world for $25?

Hmm, maybe just a 50-mile radius.  After that add $.50 per mile. 

[puniraptor]

what are the six pinball machines?

[Deez Nutz]

what are the six pinball machines?

Well actually I only have 4 right now, but there are two at the Union, so I was kind of including those as well.

My 4 Games:

World Cup Soccer '94
No Good Gofers
Amazing Spider-Man
Street Fighter 2

Two at the Union:
Metallica Pro
Star Trek Pro

[Dugout DickStone]

You're still using the Chill Manuever?  nice work, pops

[puniraptor]

i very highly doubt the machines in the union work 100%

[Tobias]

how much hay for 6 hours?

[kso_FAN]

What is the expected return on my investment (per hourly lesson)?

[Deez Nutz]

i very highly doubt the machines in the union work 100%

Well they worked fine the last time I was there.  In fact, I set my personal best score on that particular Metallica machine, and I've played it in probably 6 or 7 other locations.  May not be the greatest Star Trek machine I've ever played, but not bad. 

Also note that if you want to meet at the union for lessons, then you are responsible for providing quarters for each game played.  (I can still bring a sandwich and Shasta soda for you, however.)

[Deez Nutz]

What is the expected return on my investment (per hourly lesson)?

Well it kind of depends on your current skill level.  If you are a complete novice and don't know the basics yet, you can expect your average scores to increase dramatically after a lesson or two.  Maybe even 4 or 5 times what you are currently scoring.  On the other hand, if you are already a decent player and just need to perfect your skills, a more moderate increase in your scores can be expected.  Maybe a 10% to 20% increase. 

[Dr Rick Daris]

Hello my name is Carl and I am offering up my pinball expertise for $50 dollars an hour.  I am currently ranked 163rd domestically and 538th internationally and I will teach you any technique you need to master as found here..... http://www.ipdb.org/playing/advanced.html I will also teach you my patent-pending breathing regimen.  For $50 you get an hour of extreme coaching at my place (no minors or unaccompanied women) (due to past issues with a liar named DGale.)  I have 6 top-quality machines that work 100%. Or I can come to your place ($25 travel fee) and help you master one of your games.  If I host I do offer a 10-minute break where I provide a sandwich with your choice from 3 deli meats and American cheese with a Shasta brand soda (the Pepsi products are for my son and me).  Slots are filling up, so email me soon to get in.  Thank you.

i will pay you ten dollars an hour for my boys and i to come over and play your machines. you don't have to teach/work with us and we get to byob.

[Deez Nutz]

You're still using the Chill Manuever?  nice work, pops

Hey, a pinball wizard like me has to master games from every era and every manufacturer.  So even though you don't see the center post on too many modern machines, you still gotta be prepared for it in case you come across it in tournament play. 

[Deez Nutz]

Hello my name is Carl and I am offering up my pinball expertise for $50 dollars an hour.  I am currently ranked 163rd domestically and 538th internationally and I will teach you any technique you need to master as found here..... http://www.ipdb.org/playing/advanced.html I will also teach you my patent-pending breathing regimen.  For $50 you get an hour of extreme coaching at my place (no minors or unaccompanied women) (due to past issues with a liar named DGale.)  I have 6 top-quality machines that work 100%. Or I can come to your place ($25 travel fee) and help you master one of your games.  If I host I do offer a 10-minute break where I provide a sandwich with your choice from 3 deli meats and American cheese with a Shasta brand soda (the Pepsi products are for my son and me).  Slots are filling up, so email me soon to get in.  Thank you.

i will pay you ten dollars an hour for my boys and i to come over and play your machines. you don't have to teach/work with us and we get to byob.

Hmm, I don't know if I have any openings available at that rate.  I'm already getting booked up.  But in all seriousness if you are looking for a good place to play in Manhattan you gotta check out Motorcycle Supply at 307 Ft. Riley Blvd.  They have 5 games:

Star Trek Ltd. Edition
The Simpsons (Data East)
The Getaway: High Speed 2
Pinbot
Evel Knievel

That Star Trek LE plays like a dream.  You would be better off skipping the Pro model at the Union and only playing their Metallica.  Then head over to Motorcycle Supply to get your Star Trek fix.   

[Dr Rick Daris]

Hello my name is Carl and I am offering up my pinball expertise for $50 dollars an hour.  I am currently ranked 163rd domestically and 538th internationally and I will teach you any technique you need to master as found here..... http://www.ipdb.org/playing/advanced.html I will also teach you my patent-pending breathing regimen.  For $50 you get an hour of extreme coaching at my place (no minors or unaccompanied women) (due to past issues with a liar named DGale.)  I have 6 top-quality machines that work 100%. Or I can come to your place ($25 travel fee) and help you master one of your games.  If I host I do offer a 10-minute break where I provide a sandwich with your choice from 3 deli meats and American cheese with a Shasta brand soda (the Pepsi products are for my son and me).  Slots are filling up, so email me soon to get in.  Thank you.

i will pay you ten dollars an hour for my boys and i to come over and play your machines. you don't have to teach/work with us and we get to byob.

Hmm, I don't know if I have any openings available at that rate.  I'm already getting booked up.  But in all seriousness if you are looking for a good place to play in Manhattan you gotta check out Motorcycle Supply at 307 Ft. Riley Blvd.  They have 5 games:

i tell you what- you get midevil madness and i'm willing to go up to $12.50/hour but we get to also use your bathroom.

[Deez Nutz]

Hello my name is Carl and I am offering up my pinball expertise for $50 dollars an hour.  I am currently ranked 163rd domestically and 538th internationally and I will teach you any technique you need to master as found here..... http://www.ipdb.org/playing/advanced.html I will also teach you my patent-pending breathing regimen.  For $50 you get an hour of extreme coaching at my place (no minors or unaccompanied women) (due to past issues with a liar named DGale.)  I have 6 top-quality machines that work 100%. Or I can come to your place ($25 travel fee) and help you master one of your games.  If I host I do offer a 10-minute break where I provide a sandwich with your choice from 3 deli meats and American cheese with a Shasta brand soda (the Pepsi products are for my son and me).  Slots are filling up, so email me soon to get in.  Thank you.

i will pay you ten dollars an hour for my boys and i to come over and play your machines. you don't have to teach/work with us and we get to byob.

Hmm, I don't know if I have any openings available at that rate.  I'm already getting booked up.  But in all seriousness if you are looking for a good place to play in Manhattan you gotta check out Motorcycle Supply at 307 Ft. Riley Blvd.  They have 5 games:

i tell you what- you get midevil madness and i'm willing to go up to $12.50/hour but we get to also use your bathroom.

There is no question Medieval Madness is a great game.  So great, in fact, that it is currently being remade by Stern 18 years after the original release.  Unfortunately I don't have an extra $8,000 - $9,000 lying around to buy a new one.  But here are some games on my current wishlist that I may be getting in the not-too-distant future:

Indiana Jones: The Pinball Adventure
No Fear:  Dangerous Sports
Ripley's Believe It Or Not!
World Poker Tour
Lord of the Rings
Rock Encore

[Dr Rick Daris]

you know what game you shouldn't get? that big hurt/frank thomas one. that thing will haunt you in your sleep.

[Deez Nutz]

you know what game you shouldn't get? that big hurt/frank thomas one. that thing will haunt you in your sleep.

Being a pinball wizard, I have indeed mastered this game as well, and I could help you with it.  The only problem is that the closest one from here is located in Wichita.  (Well actually there is one in Newton as well, but it's out of order at the moment.)  I could give a discount on my travel fee if you wanted to meet down there.  The trick is to go for the home run and avoid that stupid glove waving back and forth.  It's kind of similar in that regard to my Wold Cup Soccer machine as there is a goalie who waves back and forth in front of the goal.  But WCS is a much better game overall.

[GregKSU1027]

DN can you show me how to kill it on Space Adventurer on windows xp?

[Dr Rick Daris]

you know what game you shouldn't get? that big hurt/frank thomas one. that thing will haunt you in your sleep.

Being a pinball wizard, I have indeed mastered this game as well, and I could help you with it.  The only problem is that the closest one from here is located in Wichita.  (Well actually there is one in Newton as well, but it's out of order at the moment.)  I could give a discount on my travel fee if you wanted to meet down there.  The trick is to go for the home run and avoid that stupid glove waving back and forth.  It's kind of similar in that regard to my Wold Cup Soccer machine as there is a goalie who waves back and forth in front of the goal.  But WCS is a much better game overall.

when i say haunt you in your sleep, i mean it. that game doesn't shut up and will be drilled into your head. "number thirty five...FRANK THOMAS! number thirty five...FRANK THOMAS!". it will shake the foundation of even the strongest man. very tell tale heartish.

[Unruly]

Who knew that Deez Nutz was a deaf, dumb, blind kid?

[Deez Nutz]

so its that time of year again. its cold and people aren't really going outside so i am starting up my pinball lessons again. last summer i was not able to offer lessons (my landlord Terry kicked me out).  for those who dont know i teach pinball and i teach it well. 60 dollars gets you one hour with a meal. I still have grade A machines all fully working. i will teach you so many techniques and maneuvers that will help you in my tournament in april. if you take lessons you have free entry in my tournament. as requested i am offering many different varyations for food. (I have an inside deal at Arbys now), but we can talk about that later. my aunt is my current roommate (my machines share a room with her barry gibb collection). so there are certain times when a lesson could be interrupted but i will make sure you get a full hour for sure. i am also looking to buy a couple more machines so if you have some i would be interested in talking. (I do also offer magic lessons....no package deals) contact me (carl) for any lessons of your interest. pinball slots will fill up as always.

[star seed 7]

Why is terry trippin?

[Spracne]

Hey, Karl! GOOD TO SEE YOU! (KU reference).