Firing dumbass employees/ FR bitches about his job

[felix rex]

I mean, I hate evals and think they're largely useless/counterproductive, but still.

As someone who's had one review in 2-1/2 years, I disagree.

felix is correct in as much as the majority of people who perform the review are lazy asses who find it too difficult to provide the difficult feedback that most often times is the most actionable.  it's so much easier to just go in and say "u're doin great!!" then shoot the crap for the remaining 29.5 minutes.

Before they revamped our review process you had to provide justification for giving an exceptional review, or unsatisfactory review, so everyone got "satisfactory" reviews.

lol. We just 'revamped' to the justification model.

And 'clams is spot on.

sounds like you aren't cut out for management. 

Honestly, I worry about this. I'm great at the "job" (i.e. generating the final product) and I'm great at dealing with customers, but not great at all (ego-defending way of saying "terrible") about dealing with personnel issues. But I'm pretty new at managing, so I "rationalize" my failings that way for the time being.

[pissclams]

why are you worried about not being cut out for "management"?  you don't have to be cut out for the bullshit to be good at it.  in due time you too will become a jaded shadow of your former self and soon will be whistling the manager anthem on your way to work everyday.

[Dr Rick Daris]

i have to manage two people at my current job. i tell them that our only real goal is to fly under the radar and not be noticed. keep to ourselves, help each other out and get along decently well with the other people in our area. pretty sure that i am an absolutely horrible manager but these things are such a challenge for most people in my area/group (40 employees) that i feel the reason to stress the above and then any actual work that i get from them on top of that is just icing. again, pretty sure i'm really bad at managing.

[steve dave]

i have to manage two people at my current job. i tell them that our only real goal is to fly under the radar and not be noticed. keep to ourselves, help each other out and get along decently well with the other people in our area. pretty sure that i am an absolutely horrible manager but these things are such a challenge for most people in my area/group (40 employees) that i feel the reason to stress the above and then any actual work that i get from them on top of that is just icing. again, pretty sure i'm really bad at managing.

I vote Rick Daris for best manager of all goEMAW.com posters

[felix rex]

why are you worried about not being cut out for "management"?  you don't have to be cut out for the bullshit to be good at it.  in due time you too will become a jaded shadow of your former self and soon will be whistling the manager anthem on your way to work everyday.

You should be giving motivational speeches at those seminars none of us want to go to. I'm inspired )

i have to manage two people at my current job. i tell them that our only real goal is to fly under the radar and not be noticed. keep to ourselves, help each other out and get along decently well with the other people in our area. pretty sure that i am an absolutely horrible manager but these things are such a challenge for most people in my area/group (40 employees) that i feel the reason to stress the above and then any actual work that i get from them on top of that is just icing. again, pretty sure i'm really bad at managing.

Question to RD/'clams management GURUS: The gay guy at work filed an official complaint against the lesbian at work because she "repeatedly makes demeaning comments towards women." Investigation reveals that the complaint was sparked because the lesbian referred to Hillary Clinton as "one of her girls" in the break room, prompting the gay guy to flip out and start shouting that the "dictionary definition of 'girl' makes it clear that such a term is demeaning to a woman, especially one as accomplished as Hillary." The whole time, they're both huge Hillary fans, and start fighting over that, too.

WTF am I supposed to do with that? Srsly? My managers are all former military and nervous as hell about it. And I'm just amazed at the stupid bullshit we have to put up with at work.

[steve dave]

tell them to STFU

[felix rex]

tell them to STFU

This is more or less exactly what I did in an HRy way.

[michigancat]

why are you worried about not being cut out for "management"?  you don't have to be cut out for the bullshit to be good at it.  in due time you too will become a jaded shadow of your former self and soon will be whistling the manager anthem on your way to work everyday.

You should be giving motivational speeches at those seminars none of us want to go to. I'm inspired )

i have to manage two people at my current job. i tell them that our only real goal is to fly under the radar and not be noticed. keep to ourselves, help each other out and get along decently well with the other people in our area. pretty sure that i am an absolutely horrible manager but these things are such a challenge for most people in my area/group (40 employees) that i feel the reason to stress the above and then any actual work that i get from them on top of that is just icing. again, pretty sure i'm really bad at managing.

Question to RD/'clams management GURUS: The gay guy at work filed an official complaint against the lesbian at work because she "repeatedly makes demeaning comments towards women." Investigation reveals that the complaint was sparked because the lesbian referred to Hillary Clinton as "one of her girls" in the break room, prompting the gay guy to flip out and start shouting that the "dictionary definition of 'girl' makes it clear that such a term is demeaning to a woman, especially one as accomplished as Hillary." The whole time, they're both huge Hillary fans, and start fighting over that, too.

WTF am I supposed to do with that? Srsly? My managers are all former military and nervous as hell about it. And I'm just amazed at the stupid bullshit we have to put up with at work.

your company doesn't have an official policy for sh*t like this?

[pissclams]

I wouldn't do anything about it, except maybe tell gay guy to grow up and quit acting like a 'tard.  HR needs to act on the complaint (by doing nothing b/c it's a rough ridin' Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!) complaint) not you.

[Dr Rick Daris]

this is exactly the type of stuff that i have to stress that the two people i supervise avoid. i'd rather have them sitting in a closet playing pick up sticks than working hard and getting into stupid crap like this. and believe me, stupid crap like that happens once every month or two where i work.

[felix rex]

why are you worried about not being cut out for "management"?  you don't have to be cut out for the bullshit to be good at it.  in due time you too will become a jaded shadow of your former self and soon will be whistling the manager anthem on your way to work everyday.

You should be giving motivational speeches at those seminars none of us want to go to. I'm inspired )

i have to manage two people at my current job. i tell them that our only real goal is to fly under the radar and not be noticed. keep to ourselves, help each other out and get along decently well with the other people in our area. pretty sure that i am an absolutely horrible manager but these things are such a challenge for most people in my area/group (40 employees) that i feel the reason to stress the above and then any actual work that i get from them on top of that is just icing. again, pretty sure i'm really bad at managing.

Question to RD/'clams management GURUS: The gay guy at work filed an official complaint against the lesbian at work because she "repeatedly makes demeaning comments towards women." Investigation reveals that the complaint was sparked because the lesbian referred to Hillary Clinton as "one of her girls" in the break room, prompting the gay guy to flip out and start shouting that the "dictionary definition of 'girl' makes it clear that such a term is demeaning to a woman, especially one as accomplished as Hillary." The whole time, they're both huge Hillary fans, and start fighting over that, too.

WTF am I supposed to do with that? Srsly? My managers are all former military and nervous as hell about it. And I'm just amazed at the stupid bullshit we have to put up with at work.

your company doesn't have an official policy for sh*t like this?

If you knew how mismanaged my company was, you wouldn't sleep well at night. Our "corporate" office is essentially 90% retired military/security officials and 10% recent HR grads who were hired on the cheap.

[The42Yardstick]

Whenever my staff acts up at work, I have a yardstick (note:     ) that I beat them with. It works extremely effectively.

[Saulbadguy]

Arrange their working conditions so they no longer have to work with each other or be around each other, if possible.

If not, have them each air their grievance with you personally.   After the meeting with each of them, say you will look in to reprimanding the other one. Then do nothing.

Another possible solution would be for them to file written grievances with HR.  That will allow you to do pretty much anything as far as moving one of them to a different unit, or changing their job so they do not have to work together.

[felix rex]

this is exactly the type of stuff that i have to stress that the two people i supervise avoid. i'd rather have them sitting in a closet playing pick up sticks than working hard and getting into stupid crap like this. and believe me, stupid crap like that happens once every month or two where i work.

 

[felix rex]

Arrange their working conditions so they no longer have to work with each other or be around each other, if possible.

If not, have them each air their grievance with you personally.   After the meeting with each of them, say you will look in to reprimanding the other one. Then do nothing.

Another possible solution would be for them to file written grievances with HR.  That will allow you to do pretty much anything as far as moving one of them to a different unit, or changing their job so they do not have to work together.

The written grievance is what started this. I can't move them, so I did the "meeting" and basically took 'clams' route of telling the gay guy to quit being Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!).

On the plus side, the gay guy finally pissed off HR/corporate enough to really get things moving on getting him fired (he's the original inspiration for this whiny thread) 

[The42Yardstick]

Arrange their working conditions so they no longer have to work with each other or be around each other, if possible.

If not, have them each air their grievance with you personally.   After the meeting with each of them, say you will look in to reprimanding the other one. Then do nothing.

Another possible solution would be for them to file written grievances with HR.  That will allow you to do pretty much anything as far as moving one of them to a different unit, or changing their job so they do not have to work together.

The written grievance is what started this. I can't move them, so I did the "meeting" and basically took 'clams' route of telling the gay guy to quit being Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!).

On the plus side, the gay guy finally pissed off HR/corporate enough to really get things moving on getting him fired (he's the original inspiration for this whiny thread) 

This is indefatigably racist

[pissclams]

this whole thread is racist

[felix rex]

Arrange their working conditions so they no longer have to work with each other or be around each other, if possible.

If not, have them each air their grievance with you personally.   After the meeting with each of them, say you will look in to reprimanding the other one. Then do nothing.

Another possible solution would be for them to file written grievances with HR.  That will allow you to do pretty much anything as far as moving one of them to a different unit, or changing their job so they do not have to work together.

The written grievance is what started this. I can't move them, so I did the "meeting" and basically took 'clams' route of telling the gay guy to quit being Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!).

On the plus side, the gay guy finally pissed off HR/corporate enough to really get things moving on getting him fired (he's the original inspiration for this whiny thread) 

This is indefatigably racist

We're international, so we've got lots of color at the office ( ), so corporate is comically complacent about racism concerns.

[The Whale]

Arrange their working conditions so they no longer have to work with each other or be around each other, if possible.

If not, have them each air their grievance with you personally.   After the meeting with each of them, say you will look in to reprimanding the other one. Then do nothing.

Another possible solution would be for them to file written grievances with HR.  That will allow you to do pretty much anything as far as moving one of them to a different unit, or changing their job so they do not have to work together.

The written grievance is what started this. I can't move them, so I did the "meeting" and basically took 'clams' route of telling the gay guy to quit being Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!).

On the plus side, the gay guy finally pissed off HR/corporate enough to really get things moving on getting him fired (he's the original inspiration for this whiny thread) 

You just gave the gay guy reason to complain that he got fired for whistleblowing*.


* pffffft

[_33]

I have about 400 people working under me right now. (that's what she said)  Basically whenever I need to fire someone I just delegate that responsibility to the person I'm going to fire.  It makes the person you are firing feel important, because you are giving them a responsibility but at the same time you can get rid of them with no confrontation. 

[felix rex]

Welp. Today's the day. Walking papers all typed up and ready to go. We went with this plan (and I totally gave you credit when I pitched it in the meeting):

Another great option is to have "layoffs" but use them to just fire the hell out of a big group of slack asses. 

[Poster formerly known as jthutch]

   Thinking of the pitch.  "I know this guy Steve Dave, he says to just layoff all the slack asses."  Bosses "You know we could use another guy in here does this Steve Dave need a job?"

[felix rex]

I also gave them this SD nugget:

BWW's is the new golf course. It's where business happens.

[steve dave]

man, ole steve dave is really coming out looking good in this thread 

[felix rex]

It's really not that hard.  You just have to know how to document.  You wait until you've got a big list of the problematic occurences, have them sign a corrective action plan under which failure to comply is grounds for dismissal, and wait for them to screw up.  If they screw up, fire them.  If they don't screw up, there's no longer a problem.  If you continue to think that there is, it's your problem.

Process = engaged. Buy in or quit.