Life Coaching

[SdK]

I'm going to do my best to start becoming the person I'd like to be. The person I'm capable of being. Currently, I am fine financially and will be until July. Without working, I'll still be able to cover my bills, etc. I am trying to decide what my next move is. I could move back to Manhattan, stay with my mom for a bit and work for either Schultz, Midland, or Carpet One. Thankfully, I always know I have somewhere to land. Sometimes I take that for granted.

I am perfectly fine with swallowing my pride and going back home if need be. I'd like to handle things myself and move forward and not rely on family connections. Maybe this is stupid and I should just accept that having a job that I am good at is what really matters.

Mom told me the other day that if I had went and become and R.N. years ago when she thought it'd be smart of me to do, that by now I'd be a home owner. She's right. I have always loved the medical field. So perhaps going to school for something that will directly correlate to a career and it being a 2 year program is best for me.

I'm just thinking aloud and truly believe that goEMAW is the single greatest collection of diverse thinking I know of, all for #1cat. I'll add more to this as thoughts hit me. Just wanted to get the conversation started.

tl;dnr SdK is asking for help with his future.

[CNS]

RN it up, friend

[sys]

this is just me, reflecting on my life, and it may not apply to you.


the idea that your career is supposed to be fulfilling and that defines who you are as a person is pushed on young people pretty hard in america.  i think it's complete bullshit.  you can be happier if you find something easy that pays ok.  as long as you don't work with a bunch of assholes, it doesn't matter much if you intrinsically like the work or not.

if i'd have gone into something more lucrative and employable, i'm almost positive i'd have liked that work at least as much as i like the work i actually do now.  except if i'd have done that, by now i'd be retired and living somewhere i like a lot more than i like where i currently live.


if you can get a good job through family, why wouldn't you do that?  i assume you like your family and like manhattan.  what other chance will you ever have to live and interact on a daily basis with the people closest to you in this world?

[SdK]

this is just me, reflecting on my life, and it may not apply to you.


the idea that your career is supposed to be fulfilling and that defines who you are as a person is pushed on young people pretty hard in america.  i think it's complete bullshit.  you can be happier if you find something easy that pays ok.  as long as you don't work with a bunch of assholes, it doesn't matter much if you intrinsically like the work or not.

if i'd have gone into something more lucrative and employable, i'm almost positive i'd have liked that work at least as much as i like the work i actually do now.  except if i'd have done that, by now i'd be retired and living somewhere i like a lot more than i like where i currently live.


if you can get a good job through family, why wouldn't you do that?  i assume you like your family and like manhattan.  what other chance will you ever have to live and interact on a daily basis with the people closest to you in this world?

This is a very solid point and I agree with finding it bs that we are defined or feel we need to be defined by our jobs.

You make an excellent point. Thank you.

[SdK]

RN it up, friend

I think I will. Right now the leading idea, based solely on you and sys's comments, are move back to mhk. Work for the family, and get on the waiting list for R.N. school.

Thank you for your advice.

[CNS]

If you aren't tied down due to a fam sitch, don't like your current sitch, and have a reasonable path to a diff sitch, you would be pretty insane to not make a change, IMO.

[Dr Rick Daris]

quick life plan for my friend sundance kid-

1)write "i'm still very, very young with my whole life ahead of me and the given ability of free will" on a sheet of paper and then read it five times a day.
2)get in AA and commit to it if he really does need it. i'm not sure.
3)take briggs myer to find out his personality and then look at careers that people with those personalities do well in and gravitate to.
4)pick one of those careers and then gradually start doing what is necessary to be able to have that career. commit to that plan and don't second guess yourself.
5)get on proper meds.

[SdK]

quick life plan for my friend sundance kid-

1)write "i'm still very, very young with my whole life ahead of me and the given ability of free will" on a sheet of paper and then read it five times a day.
2)get in AA and commit to it if he really does need it. i'm not sure.
3)take briggs myer to find out his personality and then look at careers that people with those personalities do well in and gravitate to.
4)pick one of those careers and then gradually start doing what is necessary to be able to have that career. commit to that plan and don't second guess yourself.
5)get on proper meds.

Believe me. I remember this post and think about it often. When I first read it, I cried. Thank you again.

[SdK]

If you aren't tied down due to a fam sitch, don't like your current sitch, and have a reasonable path to a diff sitch, you would be pretty insane to not make a change, IMO.

You are right. Thank you.

[XocolateThundarr]

If I had it to do over again, I would have been an orthodontist or a chiropractor instead of an engineer.  I think you are headed in the right direction.

[jtksu]

This thread seems kinda racist.   

[MakeItRain]

this is just me, reflecting on my life, and it may not apply to you.


the idea that your career is supposed to be fulfilling and that defines who you are as a person is pushed on young people pretty hard in america.  i think it's complete bullshit.  you can be happier if you find something easy that pays ok.  as long as you don't work with a bunch of assholes, it doesn't matter much if you intrinsically like the work or not.

if i'd have gone into something more lucrative and employable, i'm almost positive i'd have liked that work at least as much as i like the work i actually do now.  except if i'd have done that, by now i'd be retired and living somewhere i like a lot more than i like where i currently live.


if you can get a good job through family, why wouldn't you do that?  i assume you like your family and like manhattan.  what other chance will you ever have to live and interact on a daily basis with the people closest to you in this world?

I think I sorta disagree with you if I understand what you are saying. You can be happy without a fulfilling career but the ultimate happiness is if you have a career that defines who you are and makes you happy. Where I disagree with what "they" say is that you have to find it right away. I was on my third career and my third job within that third career before I found it. It is nice knowing that I'm under forty and I'm going to retire from the job I have now. It took 7 jobs, post degree, to find it but I finally did and it's amazing.

[jtksu]

this is just me, reflecting on my life, and it may not apply to you.


the idea that your career is supposed to be fulfilling and that defines who you are as a person is pushed on young people pretty hard in america.  i think it's complete bullshit.  you can be happier if you find something easy that pays ok.  as long as you don't work with a bunch of assholes, it doesn't matter much if you intrinsically like the work or not.

if i'd have gone into something more lucrative and employable, i'm almost positive i'd have liked that work at least as much as i like the work i actually do now.  except if i'd have done that, by now i'd be retired and living somewhere i like a lot more than i like where i currently live.


if you can get a good job through family, why wouldn't you do that?  i assume you like your family and like manhattan.  what other chance will you ever have to live and interact on a daily basis with the people closest to you in this world?

I think I sorta disagree with you if I understand what you are saying. You can be happy without a fulfilling career but the ultimate happiness is if you have a career that defines who you are and makes you happy. Where I disagree with what "they" say is that you have to find it right away. I was on my third career and my third job within that third career before I found it. It is nice knowing that I'm under forty and I'm going to retire from the job I have now. It took 7 jobs, post degree, to find it but I finally did and it's amazing.

On a serious note, If your career defines you, you're doing it wrong.

[jmlynch1]

this is just me, reflecting on my life, and it may not apply to you.


the idea that your career is supposed to be fulfilling and that defines who you are as a person is pushed on young people pretty hard in america.  i think it's complete bullshit.  you can be happier if you find something easy that pays ok.  as long as you don't work with a bunch of assholes, it doesn't matter much if you intrinsically like the work or not.

if i'd have gone into something more lucrative and employable, i'm almost positive i'd have liked that work at least as much as i like the work i actually do now.  except if i'd have done that, by now i'd be retired and living somewhere i like a lot more than i like where i currently live.


if you can get a good job through family, why wouldn't you do that?  i assume you like your family and like manhattan.  what other chance will you ever have to live and interact on a daily basis with the people closest to you in this world?

I think I sorta disagree with you if I understand what you are saying. You can be happy without a fulfilling career but the ultimate happiness is if you have a career that defines who you are and makes you happy. Where I disagree with what "they" say is that you have to find it right away. I was on my third career and my third job within that third career before I found it. It is nice knowing that I'm under forty and I'm going to retire from the job I have now. It took 7 jobs, post degree, to find it but I finally did and it's amazing.

On a serious note, If your career defines you, you're doing it wrong.

i don't think that is what he was saying...and having a job you look forward to doing everyday makes life a billion times easier.

Edit: I'm a poor reader

[chum1]

No one would have a job if they didn't need the money.  They might do stuff, they might work really hard, but they wouldn't put up with bullshit.  And all jobs have bullshit.

[CNS]

If you don't dislike what you do, who you do it for, make enough to do what you want, and have enough time away from work to do what you like, that is the best thing in the world.

[MakeItRain]

this is just me, reflecting on my life, and it may not apply to you.


the idea that your career is supposed to be fulfilling and that defines who you are as a person is pushed on young people pretty hard in america.  i think it's complete bullshit.  you can be happier if you find something easy that pays ok.  as long as you don't work with a bunch of assholes, it doesn't matter much if you intrinsically like the work or not.

if i'd have gone into something more lucrative and employable, i'm almost positive i'd have liked that work at least as much as i like the work i actually do now.  except if i'd have done that, by now i'd be retired and living somewhere i like a lot more than i like where i currently live.


if you can get a good job through family, why wouldn't you do that?  i assume you like your family and like manhattan.  what other chance will you ever have to live and interact on a daily basis with the people closest to you in this world?

I think I sorta disagree with you if I understand what you are saying. You can be happy without a fulfilling career but the ultimate happiness is if you have a career that defines who you are and makes you happy. Where I disagree with what "they" say is that you have to find it right away. I was on my third career and my third job within that third career before I found it. It is nice knowing that I'm under forty and I'm going to retire from the job I have now. It took 7 jobs, post degree, to find it but I finally did and it's amazing.

On a serious note, If your career defines you, you're doing it wrong.

There are plenty of careers that one can have, people serving careers usually, and it defining you is a good thing, clergy immediately comes to mind.

[sys]

I think I sorta disagree with you if I understand what you are saying. You can be happy without a fulfilling career but the ultimate happiness is if you have a career that defines who you are and makes you happy. Where I disagree with what "they" say is that you have to find it right away. I was on my third career and my third job within that third career before I found it. It is nice knowing that I'm under forty and I'm going to retire from the job I have now. It took 7 jobs, post degree, to find it but I finally did and it's amazing.

if you have a job that you love, that's fantastic.  i've seen people like that, i know people that have found that situation.  it's an enviable position in life.  what disagree with is placing this as the goal.  i feel that for my first 25 years, people incessantly encouraged me to do what you love, find something you enjoy, and make it your job etc.  looking back, it was foolish advice.  i studied what i love, i have a job in that field.  the work i actually do has little to do with the stuff i like about the field i chose because i liked it.

oth, if i'd chosen to do something based on compensation in that field, i could have done work equally as enjoyable as what i do, but i'd have the money to pursue other options not open to me now due my financial situation.

i think the situation i've found myself in is more common than the one you've found yourself in.


i'm not entirely happy with the above.  i think it more or less describes my position in practical terms.  but it misses something on the philosophy.  a job is you selling your time for money.  your time on this earth is a limited resource.  you are a very rare human if you are able to sell your time for doing the exact same thing that you makes you happiest in the world.  assuming you aren't one of those very rare humans, i think it is a mistake to focus too much on moving how enjoyable the way your sold time is spent a little closer to happiest, instead of focusing on selling control of as little of your time as is possible.

[ChiComCat]

My career advice:

Some of the best advice I received was work somewhere that takes care of their employees. Seems obvious but I'm on my 4th job in my field and the first where I really felt taken care of.  This stop has always been thought of as a stepping stone to go somewhere else, but its going to be tough to leave.  I'm not micromanaged, I am great at what I do, and the other people that are on my level are also great at what they do.  In the past, it was hard to stay motivated and do my best work while working with people that don't give a crap.

Also, I've always tried to make a point to treat the people who work for me very well, especially when working for places that don't generally treat their employees well.  Despite being the ones working for me, more than one quality opportunity has come my way directly by doing this.  This doesn't mean being a pushover and letting them not do their jobs.

[ChiComCat]

this is just me, reflecting on my life, and it may not apply to you.


the idea that your career is supposed to be fulfilling and that defines who you are as a person is pushed on young people pretty hard in america.  i think it's complete bullshit.  you can be happier if you find something easy that pays ok.  as long as you don't work with a bunch of assholes, it doesn't matter much if you intrinsically like the work or not.

if i'd have gone into something more lucrative and employable, i'm almost positive i'd have liked that work at least as much as i like the work i actually do now.  except if i'd have done that, by now i'd be retired and living somewhere i like a lot more than i like where i currently live.


if you can get a good job through family, why wouldn't you do that?  i assume you like your family and like manhattan.  what other chance will you ever have to live and interact on a daily basis with the people closest to you in this world?

I think I sorta disagree with you if I understand what you are saying. You can be happy without a fulfilling career but the ultimate happiness is if you have a career that defines who you are and makes you happy. Where I disagree with what "they" say is that you have to find it right away. I was on my third career and my third job within that third career before I found it. It is nice knowing that I'm under forty and I'm going to retire from the job I have now. It took 7 jobs, post degree, to find it but I finally did and it's amazing.

On a serious note, If your career defines you, you're doing it wrong.

There are plenty of careers that one can have, people serving careers usually, and it defining you is a good thing, clergy immediately comes to mind.

I think a career defining someone is usually rare.  Having a career relating to what you enjoy is not.  My career directly relates to travel, food and people which is what I enjoy.

[yoga-like_abana]

I just started at a new job two weeks ago and I love going to it.. it's something that people could identify me as but the job doesn't define me.. Ya dig?


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[Winters]

You should sub-lease my room for the summer and find your niche' in Manhattan. You will not regret this. You will look back 15-20 years from this point and say to yourself "wOw, Winters was right. Manhattan changed my life around". You will turn into Sundance Man if you do this as well. It's your move.

[SdK]

You should sub-lease my room for the summer and find your niche' in Manhattan. You will not regret this. You will look back 15-20 years from this point and say to yourself "wOw, Winters was right. Manhattan changed my life around". You will turn into Sundance Man if you do this as well. It's your move.

hahahhahahhaha love it.

[Winters]

You should sub-lease my room for the summer and find your niche' in Manhattan. You will not regret this. You will look back 15-20 years from this point and say to yourself "wOw, Winters was right. Manhattan changed my life around". You will turn into Sundance Man if you do this as well. It's your move.

hahahhahahhaha love it.

You move in June 1st. congratulations!

[jtksu]

this is just me, reflecting on my life, and it may not apply to you.


the idea that your career is supposed to be fulfilling and that defines who you are as a person is pushed on young people pretty hard in america.  i think it's complete bullshit.  you can be happier if you find something easy that pays ok.  as long as you don't work with a bunch of assholes, it doesn't matter much if you intrinsically like the work or not.

if i'd have gone into something more lucrative and employable, i'm almost positive i'd have liked that work at least as much as i like the work i actually do now.  except if i'd have done that, by now i'd be retired and living somewhere i like a lot more than i like where i currently live.


if you can get a good job through family, why wouldn't you do that?  i assume you like your family and like manhattan.  what other chance will you ever have to live and interact on a daily basis with the people closest to you in this world?

I think I sorta disagree with you if I understand what you are saying. You can be happy without a fulfilling career but the ultimate happiness is if you have a career that defines who you are and makes you happy. Where I disagree with what "they" say is that you have to find it right away. I was on my third career and my third job within that third career before I found it. It is nice knowing that I'm under forty and I'm going to retire from the job I have now. It took 7 jobs, post degree, to find it but I finally did and it's amazing.

On a serious note, If your career defines you, you're doing it wrong.

There are plenty of careers that one can have, people serving careers usually, and it defining you is a good thing, clergy immediately comes to mind.

I would consider the clergy as more of a calling than a career.