"I Wish Somebody Would Have Told Me" Thread

[Asteriskhead]

I wish somebody would have told me not to read this thread.

[Mrs. Gooch]

Don't get a tattoo naming a crime you are going to commit.

[420seriouscat69]

 

[slobber]

...to tell my Mom and Dad to not buy that timeshare in Arkansas back in 1977 and instead drive over to Bentonville and invest that money in WalMart.

[CHONGS]

Use it or lose it

[CHONGS]

Give a man a fish and he eats today, give a man some farmable land and he can plant some soybeans which in turn can be exchanged for money.  This money can then be traded for various goods and services including more fish if one desired, but honestly if you have farmable land that can support enough soybeans to sell at a healthy profit then you are likely not near a great source of seafood, so you should probably skip on the fish and eat something else for dinner tonight.  Maybe a nice piece of lean pork with a side of peas?  Of course if you had planted some peas as well this would be ideal.

[Bloodfart]

Use it or lose it

  Bf Dad says this all the time. 

[TownieCat]

Give a man a fish and he eats today, give a man some farmable land and he can plant some soybeans which in turn can be exchanged for money.  This money can then be traded for various goods and services including more fish if one desired, but honestly if you have farmable land that can support enough soybeans to sell at a healthy profit then you are likely not near a great source of seafood, so you should probably skip on the fish and eat something else for dinner tonight.  Maybe a nice piece of lean pork with a side of peas?  Of course if you had planted some peas as well this would be ideal.

#TeamPork

[Benja]

Give a man a fish and he eats today, give a man some farmable land and he can plant some soybeans which in turn can be exchanged for money.  This money can then be traded for various goods and services including more fish if one desired, but honestly if you have farmable land that can support enough soybeans to sell at a healthy profit then you are likely not near a great source of seafood, so you should probably skip on the fish and eat something else for dinner tonight.  Maybe a nice piece of lean pork with a side of peas?  Of course if you had planted some peas as well this would be ideal.

hmmm. good one.

[Benja]

This thread kinda sucks. I might try to make it better. I dunno.

[The Big Train]

shoot first, ask questions later

[The Big Train]

take the blue pill, not the red pill

[The Big Train]

don't hold your farts in public

[The Big Train]

always bench before stretching

[The Big Train]

drive sober or get pulled over

[The Big Train]

do all the blow you can while you are young

[The Big Train]

always wipe back to front, not the other way around

[puniraptor]

always wipe back to front, not the other way around

CONTROVERSY

[bones129]

always wipe back to front, not the other way around

CONTROVERSY

Controversy denied. Back to front is the only real option.

[bones129]

If you ever have the opportunity to hook up with an ex, do it. But only once.

but make sure you break up with her, don't let her do it.

Who broke up with whom is irrelevant when hooking up with an old flame. The more important part is to make sure it only happens once.

And you can say it wasn't meaningful with a straight face.

[bones129]

don't hold your farts in public

Especially a ripe one in an elevator. Cut it loose, then get off on the next floor. 

[puniraptor]

always wipe back to front, not the other way around

CONTROVERSY

Controversy denied. Back to front is the only real option.

We already did this. You guys have crap on your sacs.

[Bloodfart]

Switch wiper here.  front2back+back2front = So fresh and so clean

[yoga-like_abana]

You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year


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[hemmy]

Don't get a credit card before you graduate college and have a good paying job.

Why would you wish someone told you that? It's horrible advice.