Debt Collectors

[BIG APPLE CAT]

Hubs life depresses the crap out of me.  I can't wrap my mind around getting married and not knowing the extent of this beforehand and then being willfully ignorant of it until it reached this level.  There is zero chance this isn't ultimately a divorce.  The best part is that it will be after Hubs has helped her pay all this crap off and then he will be resentful as eff.  It's your fault Hubs, not hers.

She'll probably divorce him the day he sends in the last loan payment.

Sounds like she's a bit of a fuckup.  Very unlikely that this is the only way that she is.  So that means Hubs is also a fuckup or she's somewhat of a reach for him and this is the tradeoff.  Either way it isn't destined to end well.  She isn't gold digging.  They'll split irrespective of how this ends up, but it'll be just another reason for it to be acrimonious and spiteful.  Just an awful way to start a marriage.  I mean what kind of a relationship do you have that this is unknown between the two?  Yikes.  Also who the hell signs up for it?  It's so rough ridin' dipshitty it almost makes me angry and I don't even know them.

  Bread the least you could have done was bring a body bag!

So I'd like to field this one first:  So yes, I can admit that when it comes to making the "fiscally responsible" vs "emotional dumbass" that I clearly went the way of dumbass.  Did I know the whole time that she was in dire financial straights?  Of course I did.  What I didn't know was to just what extent.  And perhaps I'm bargaining with myself on this one, but maybe it's the admiration I have for her that I've seen her working really hard to aggressively reduce her debt, or maybe its how she's completely amazing in virtually every other aspect of being a human person, but I think I still would have married her either way.  Only thing that might have done differently is we might have waited a little longer to have the wedding since we had to divert a lot of money to paying for the wedding that, obviously, would have been better spent getting her debt under control.

I honestly hope it works out Hubs.  It might seem like I am anti-you or at best indifferent, but it would actually make me genuinely happy to learn that you guys had a great life.

thanks Bread!   
I know the picture i've painted to this point is pretty depressing but really it isn't that bad.  I have a good job that pays pretty well with plenty of earning potential left, and I think part of what i am experiencing is panic because this is uncharted territory for me and I don't know what to expect.  I think that in reality a lot of this is coming from a selfish place.  Just because I WOULD do anything for my wife doesn't mean that I am seeking out an opportunity to prove it.  I haven't had a chance to crunch the numbers yet but my suspicion is that I make enough money that if we both really tighten our belts and get rid of the things that have afforded us a very comfortable lifestyle that we could tackle this thing in the next 4-5 years. 

Just kind of a sobering reality, ya know?  Like, I've worked hard to this point, earned this nice lifestyle through hard work and careful spending, and ultimately it looks like i'm going to have to pay the price for mistakes that mrs hub made long before we'd even met.  Is she worth making those sacrifices? Of course she is without a doubt.  Doesn't mean that's my plan A tho.

Maybe I just need to sack up and be an adult.  I suppose i'm just clinging to the hope that there is a less painful/ more manageable way to do this that won't require us to live like smelly poors.

[420seriouscat69]

what's a social league?

Kickball, softball, beer pong, etc. Leagues where coworkers from local businesses, friends, family, etc. come out and play, drink, and socialize. It's fun. They also help with pub crawls, royals/chiefs tailgates and more. Why?

[Rage Against the McKee]

Just make sure that she is as committed as you are, Hub. Don't let her completely rely on you to get out of this or you will resent her for it, and you may even find yourself in another out-of-control debt situation at some point down the road.

Seriously, though, if you are paying for cable, cancel it. If your phone bill is more than $100, cancel it. You can get pre-paid flip phones for $25 per month per phone. You need to get your debt to a somewhat sustainable level ASAP or you will never retire.

[BIG APPLE CAT]

Also, hub, I graduated from the journalism department as well. Once I got everything situated and got a better job outside my field, I started supplementing my income with things I liked to do. What did she specialize in at school that she could do on the side? J rake was right when it comes to this. I still pick up broadcasting gigs and help run a sport and social league here in KC. It's fun and usually makes up my monthly payments for student loans, so I can save the rest after bills. Something to think about.

she actually does pick up a lot of freelance gigs.  I think her free lance work has actually accounted for around 10-20% of her yearly income.  The crappy thing about the freelance stuff is that they don't take any taxes out up front.  She knows this and is aware of it, but when your monthly income is X and your monthly expenses are X+1, I can see how it's difficult to separate the tax portion of that income.  So, every year at tax time she ends up owing a few hondo because of the freelance stuff. 

Sounds like she might really need to start looking for opportunities outside of the field of journalism.  I have no idea what those jobs are or what skill sets translate.  I know she loves her current job and she wouldn't be happy to leave it, but I'm sure if she found a job for which she was qualified that paid better, she would take it.

[Mr Bread]

what's a social league?

Kickball, softball, beer pong, etc. Leagues where coworkers from local businesses, friends, family, etc. come out and play, drink, and socialize. It's fun. They also help with pub crawls, royals/chiefs tailgates and more. Why?

He was making fun of you for just being you.  Probably peer pressured into by ERII and OKcat and maybe rusty.  What a stupid follower dick meow meow is.  Just another gE robot out to melt unique snowflakes with their own original thoughts and feelings.

[meow meow]

there are a number of ways to tackle this without living like smelly poors already suggusted in this here blog thread.

the easiest one would be for you both to get extra jobs, or at least her.  You don't have any kids, so what are you guys doing every night after work?  Going out to eat?  Sitting on your ass watching tv?  Replace these things with work and you'll make money while you're also saving money you would have spent sitting at home.  I had a neighbor that got a 2nd job at nights working down at the grocery store stocking shelves, so his wife could stay at home with their 1st child a little longer before she went back to work.  Always admired him for that.  He did this for probably 9 months to a year, probably didn't make a ton of money, but must have made enough to accomplish his goal.  You need to set some goals with deadlines in my opinion.

[meow meow]

what's a social league?

Kickball, softball, beer pong, etc. Leagues where coworkers from local businesses, friends, family, etc. come out and play, drink, and socialize. It's fun. They also help with pub crawls, royals/chiefs tailgates and more. Why?

never heard the term before

[meow meow]

what's a social league?

Kickball, softball, beer pong, etc. Leagues where coworkers from local businesses, friends, family, etc. come out and play, drink, and socialize. It's fun. They also help with pub crawls, royals/chiefs tailgates and more. Why?

He was making fun of you for just being you.  Probably peer pressured into by ERII and OKcat and maybe rusty.  What a stupid follower dick meow meow is.  Just another gE robot out to melt unique snowflakes with their own original thoughts and feelings.

that was pretty mean

[bubbles4ksu]

what's a social league?

Kickball, softball, beer pong, etc. Leagues where coworkers from local businesses, friends, family, etc. come out and play, drink, and socialize. It's fun. They also help with pub crawls, royals/chiefs tailgates and more. Why?

He was making fun of you for just being you.  Probably peer pressured into by ERII and OKcat and maybe rusty.  What a stupid follower dick meow meow is.  Just another gE robot out to melt unique snowflakes with their own original thoughts and feelings.

that was pretty mean

i saw it for what it was as well. check pm for a bid to join my frat.

[Mr Bread]

what's a social league?

Kickball, softball, beer pong, etc. Leagues where coworkers from local businesses, friends, family, etc. come out and play, drink, and socialize. It's fun. They also help with pub crawls, royals/chiefs tailgates and more. Why?

He was making fun of you for just being you.  Probably peer pressured into by ERII and OKcat and maybe rusty.  What a stupid follower dick meow meow is.  Just another gE robot out to melt unique snowflakes with their own original thoughts and feelings.

that was pretty mean

Maybe stop picking on fanning like everybody else and let him live his life.  Also stop trolling Hubs by telling him to work at a grocery store stocking shelves.  JFC if that's your answer then you don't have one. 

[420seriouscat69]

Bread you wanna share your story again about how much of a colossal eff up you were in your 20's? Maybe hub could learn from your losery ways.

[420seriouscat69]

Bubbles, you look like carrot tops nut suck. Boom roasted.

[Mr Bread]

Bread you wanna share your story again about how much of a colossal eff up you were in your 20's? Maybe hub could learn from your losery ways.

Stop following me around fanning.  Not everyone had their life handed to them on a silver platter.  It takes real courage for me to share my stories.   

[BIG APPLE CAT]

there are a number of ways to tackle this without living like smelly poors already suggusted in this here blog thread.

the easiest one would be for you both to get extra jobs, or at least her.  You don't have any kids, so what are you guys doing every night after work?  Going out to eat?  Sitting on your ass watching tv?  Replace these things with work and you'll make money while you're also saving money you would have spent sitting at home.  I had a neighbor that got a 2nd job at nights working down at the grocery store stocking shelves, so his wife could stay at home with their 1st child a little longer before she went back to work.  Always admired him for that.  He did this for probably 9 months to a year, probably didn't make a ton of money, but must have made enough to accomplish his goal.  You need to set some goals with deadlines in my opinion.

Well like I said before she does pick up a lot of freelance gigs. I'd say that she spends the vast majority of her time working. Often times her job will necessitate a time commitment from her 7 days a week bc they publish content 7 days a week. When she's not doing that she's working on her freelance side projects. It's probably fair to say that if she took a low paying job like stocking shelves in the evening she would probably bring in a little more income than her freelance work but I could see it really jeopardizing her current full time position since she really needs to be "on call" most of the time.

As for me - I might just be a pussy that needs to sack up and get a second job. My current job, while rewarding, is also very exhausting at times. Occasionally it requires a late night but most times I can call it a day at or around 6:00. When I get home I'm usually pretty beat. I just watched a documentary about a woman in Tennessee who is a single mother raising 3 kids and making like 9 dollars an hour. It was terrifying. I don't know if I have the chops to work much more than I do now, but admittedly I've never been in a position where it was necessary to do so.

[CNS]

Hubs, if you guys can tighten both your belts and do this without changing much other than simplifying life, that is the easiest way to do it.  Also, stop thinking of this situation as two belts to tighten.  You guys need to be a one belt team.  All in or all out.  Playing middle ground on this won't work.

Write a budget tonight.  Start redlining current expenditures.  If it looks too dire, then one or both needs to get side work at least short term until she finds a new career with more money involved.  She can always go back to what she loves once stuff is under control, but leaving a loved job to a higher paying job is probably the easiest and most effective "sacrifice" you guys will make in this process. 


The absolute most important thing here, for short term and long term, is to stop looking at this as two ppl and start looking at it as one budget. 

Edit: after reading more, she def needs to find another gig if she isn't paid well and expected to work 7 days a week.  eff that(on multiple levels).

[puniraptor]

the good news is you already have a house, so you don't need to worry about trashed credit

do you have several thousand transformers maybe you could offload to raise some capital?

[Cire]

Pretty amazing how little you have to work for an extra 3-5k per year.

I used to do Parks and Rec instructional programs for 15 bucks an  hour on the weekends.  Few hours a weekend year round.  All of that can go towards bills.

[bubbles4ksu]

Bubbles, you look like carrot tops nut suck. Boom roasted.

geeze fanning. all i did was laugh at the irony of you giving life advice.

[star seed 7]

bubbles looks like a famous movie star, but it's not carrot top.

[420seriouscat69]

Bubbles, you look like carrot tops nut suck. Boom roasted.

geeze fanning. all i did was laugh at the irony of you giving life advice.

This combo fanning season has been a blood bath so far this year. Just trying to keep my head above water. My bad. 

[Daddy Claxton]

Hub,
I honestly don't mean to pile on, but why do you own a house if you can't come up with 5k in 3 weeks? What will you do when the a/c goes out.

[Emo EMAW]

Hub,
I honestly don't mean to pile on, but why do you own a house if you can't come up with 5k in 3 weeks? What will you do when the a/c goes out.

Open the windows? 

[Rage Against the McKee]

Watch a Youtube video and just fix it?

[star seed 7]

stay in a hotel until fall 

[Headinjun]

Wackycat's rich gf might loan you some cash

I'd suggest you do it, but most Oklahomans are poors too.

No student loans here, friend. 

If you don't have any loans because your parents paid for it hen you really got knocked down a ring with me because of this thread.

If you tell me you were all schollie then I say you're lying. 

Clean it up Okcat.   I like you man.