Yes. I relapsed. Yes. I went back for more because of personal angst. Serious props to MIR for not replying. I avoided this thread for a few days because I feared the fall out. The whole sequence of messages was rooted in my own personal struggle. I apologize to MIR for what I said, it was only a quarter founded in my views on his posting, and the other 3/4 was cathartic for me. I get angry when people are always reveling against norms at every turn, because on paper I should have it all. I don't. Part of it is my fault and I beat myself up for it everyday, part of it is how I was raised. I sincerely believe that a child born to a loving minority family has less disadvantages than I. This isn't a cry for if there is a BET there should be a WET. That already exists on every rough ridin' major station. Racism is a giant shitty terrible thing that I hate with all of my heart. At work in Topeka I have come to realize that half of my coworkers are racist and they like to play it off as "oh it's only some of them" I tell them they are racist, and then stop talking to them.
I am a self serving guy but I do think there is a spot in white America that has all of the advantages of being white (yes they exist) and being middle class but will never come close to anyone who comes from a minortiy home that is full of love and support. I was dealt a shitty hand, it sucks, and god damn I wish that graduating hs at 16 would have granted me a jump in college. I wish I didn't have to waste my time wiht bullshit that is beneath me. But I do. I now have to accept that college is not for me (a guy that scored a 148 on his iq test in second grade). I had Duke sending me letters every month, then I hit puberty, and my grades went all to hell. Still graduated at sixteen but had to deal with so much turmoil at home.
So everyday of my life from them on I have to deal with giant highs followed by immediate lows and try to have real relationships with people that never had that. I get to always know that Duke used to send me letters and mumped it all up. Graduated hs at 16 and did nothing with it.
So yes, I know there is rampant racism in this country and a huge disapproval of gays. But if I was a minority or gay, I'd at least a place to belong. A group of people that were easily found to accept me.
So anyone that takes on more criticism that is necessary, knowing they can ostracize those that disagree can get mumped. I am not racist, I am not sexist. I support and stand up for both at every turn. So play your games and know that you can always cop out and call someone sexist or racist. Kudos folks. You are bold.
