--Play Sams for absolutely every rough ridin' down. Don't let Waters into the game, not even for one second. Hell, don't even let him dress for the game. Sams is a universe-crushing hunk/stud hybrid sent from the planet of Orgasmatron in the Masterrace galaxy to destroy faces and make people lick his shiny golden taint. This is a fact.
--Set a portion of the away crowd (only the ones in that weird forrest green/unhealthy excrement color) on fire multiple times as to distract Baylor, allowing the cats to score multiple one play touchdowns. This should be done at least 10 times.
--You know how ancient romans had those naval battles? Well, in the second quarter, LHCBS should call a play where the field turns into water (preferably with a temperature hovering around 33 degrees fahrenheit). The CATCH here is that the wild wildcats will have a few giant naval ships and we won't give Baylor any. We will then proceed to shoot a bunch of those tiny worms that blow up like 20 times their size when you drop water on them, effectively blocking Baylor from gaining yards because they're trying to run through hundreds of giant paper worms. SCHEMED BETCH.
--Get a bunch of interceptions.
--Seastrunk? More like SeaSUNK!! Have one of our linebackers (preferably the shittiest one) instantly morph into a quicksand pit on one of his runs up the middle. As soon as the hole opens up, he will be sucked into the pit with the force of a thousand vacuums, stopping his momentum short of a first down on 4th and 40, giving the cats an easy touchdown on a rough ridin' DRAGON thrown by D. Dragon Sams on the very next play. The pit will preferably lead to the mythical Azkaban, where dementors will destroy his soul for cheating at Orecheat and then jumping ship to the Baylor Cheats.
--Have Baylor play an away game.
--Have all of our offensive lineman make fun of Baylor about the Baptist thing or something. The Baylor defense will then try to summon the power of legendary Baptist Al Gore, thinking that this mythical being will use the power global-warming activism and superior intellect to destroy the opposition. HOWEVER, what these summoners will not realize is that Al Gore hates nice things and steals meaningful items from children frequently. Al Gore will eat two of the Baylor Shits' D-lineman, opening up a hole for another 50-yard D. Scores When He Wants Sams touchdown.
--Cheer extra loud for the Wildcats
PREDICTION - Kansas State GOATcats: 102, Baylor: 3
