I went to North Dakota once

[Cash money]

Yes, I know…don’t shun me for mingling with the lower level beings…..it wasn’t by choice nor will I ever return to the house of poor’s again…..I promise.  However, since we have to play these preschoolers this year I thought I would share my experience.  In full disclosure this trip was for business and not for pleasure (like anyone would visit that f*cking place).  Warning….I’m on my 5th scotch.

My trip began by entering North Dakota from the South……South Dakota…clearly the better of the Dakota Brothers (Not Saying Much….They still don’t know we gave them both back to Canada). First stop was Fargo….from first sight I knew this place was going to be a hullabaloo hole….4 FT of F’N snow on the ground…January I might add.  If you have to go this Canadian Provence make sure it’s between July 15th and July 17th (the summer season) otherwise you risk losing your shaft and sack to frost bite.  If for some god awful reason you’re there from the 15-17th of July take a f’n boat cause the place is probably flooded….happens every year…yet dipsh!ts still live there. From there I traveled to Bismark (side note…..one positive….traffic tickets are like 20 bucks…good luck getting a ticket ice skating across the f’n glacier that is ND……..let’s be honest they can’t afford to pay fines above $20). Enough about Bismarck (Put Topeka in a toilet and defecate on it and let it sit for a couple days……you get the point).  Minot……Why not…..If for some reason you find yourself in Minot….get the f’ out of there….i don’t care if you have to hj truckers all day…..GET OUT!  Mail order brides won’t even go there.  Nothing but a bunch of toothless oil rig workers that have been banished from normal civilization.  They live in Caravans outside the local wal mart (poors palace) and bark and growl at you while you walk by.  I recommend not taking pictures of these wild beasts….they will attack!  After Minot I went to a place the locals call Grand Spork……..Probably the only place where people speak English well enough you don’t want to punch them in the mouth (I assume the other Lakotans are a mixed race of French Canadian and inbred).  It’s highly likely the Grand Sporkan population has benefited from access to a 4 year institution, which out preforms the Fargo Junior College in EVERYTHING. Now don’t let me fool you Grand Sporks is full of MB 3s and 2s…but clearly out paces the Wholly Mammoths you’ll find at Devils Lake.  Anybody from out of town can pull some major wool in this place…they’re looking for the first ticket out….wouldn’t you? I personally  recommend saddling up to the black jack table…..yes you can play bj at any bar in this foreign land…..what else do these people have to do but throw their money away on booze and BJ.  Anways….saddle up..look any girl in the eyes and tell her “how do you live in a place like this?!?” …..she’ll be on your ‘d’ in no time….TRUST!  Little Hint…..double wrap that hullabaloo….nobody wants to make weekend trips to the land of poor to see an illegitimate child or throw good money after bad paying child support.  In closing I’ve compiled some travel tips (Just in case) ........1) Stay Home  2) Pack Body Condoms 3) vaccinate

[Cartierfor3]

really glad guys like this aren't on the premium board, because they are dorking the sack off of the free one.

[puniraptor]

I liked the rhymes

[lakesbison]

/EPIC FAIL THREAD    what a loser.

[Pett]

Little Hint…..double wrap that hullabaloo….nobody wants to make weekend trips to the land of poor to see an illegitimate child or throw good money after bad paying child support

Fanning?

[Super PurpleCat]

I feel bad for reading the whole thing.

[MadCat]

Glad I didn't. 

[NDSU Lollypopkid]

OP, did you know McDonalds out in the oil patch is paying up to like 18 bucks an hour?

[lakesbison]

that story sounded like some chump that says  "you want fries with that?"   but he'd have to leave the Semi Brake Refirbishing company he's at in manhattan for $8.25/hour

[HerrSonntag]

JFC even the socks in ND are rough ridin' terrible

[bones129]

I feel bad for reading the whole thing.

I almost read the whole thing, and feel bad for reading as much as I did. I will soothe my guilty conscience with a scotch.

[Big Sam]

After reading that I feel much better about the turds I post on this board.  I didn't think I could feel better living in the shadow of the elite-y posters that populate this place, then Cash Money stepped up.

Shameful stuff.

[TheBoatsman]

Seems informative.  Why all the animosity?

[Havs]

I was waiting until the Oil Boom in Williston was brought up in these debates. That argument was rendered useless when LakesBison shifted attention east of Fargo into Minnesota because of lakes and trees, rather than things that actually create money and jobs. He basically wants us to think that North Dakota State is actually the University of Minnesota - Fargo. You can't have both.

[XocolateThundarr]

[MadCat]

I was waiting until the Oil Boom in Williston was brought up in these debates. That argument was rendered useless when LakesBison shifted attention east of Fargo into Minnesota because of lakes and trees, rather than things that actually create money and jobs. He basically wants us to think that North Dakota State is actually the University of Minnesota - Fargo. You can't have both.

The movie Fargo was mostly in Minnesota. 

[420seriouscat69]

I liked it.

[GoodForAnother]

MB 3s and 2s

KStateBate

[Havs]

I was waiting until the Oil Boom in Williston was brought up in these debates. That argument was rendered useless when LakesBison shifted attention east of Fargo into Minnesota because of lakes and trees, rather than things that actually create money and jobs. He basically wants us to think that North Dakota State is actually the University of Minnesota - Fargo. You can't have both.

The movie Fargo was mostly in Minnesota. 

Pretty soon they'll be making claims like: "Minneapolis is our town." We can't have that!

[NDSU Lollypopkid]

I was waiting until the Oil Boom in Williston was brought up in these debates. That argument was rendered useless when LakesBison shifted attention east of Fargo into Minnesota because of lakes and trees, rather than things that actually create money and jobs. He basically wants us to think that North Dakota State is actually the University of Minnesota - Fargo. You can't have both.

He said he was up here for work...that's why I brought up McDonald's

[NDSU Lollypopkid]

I was waiting until the Oil Boom in Williston was brought up in these debates. That argument was rendered useless when LakesBison shifted attention east of Fargo into Minnesota because of lakes and trees, rather than things that actually create money and jobs. He basically wants us to think that North Dakota State is actually the University of Minnesota - Fargo. You can't have both.

The movie Fargo was mostly in Minnesota. 

Pretty soon they'll be making claims like: "Minneapolis is our town." We can't have that!

Minneapolis is a Fargo suburb

[lakesbison]

Fargo is basically small town minneapolis, everyone knows everyone in each town and we all meet out at the lakes in west central minnesota.  BOX

[KSUblumpkin]

Didn't read.

[yoman]

Why is this thread a thing? Guys. Just stop.

[Frankenklein]

  All the ..............................................s were a nice touch