FPD 2013 Roll Call - ELITE POSTER EDITION

[mocat]

Who am I going to bump into and possibly orgy with on Saturday?

Also what in the eff is the deal with these wristbands? Back in my day we didn't need wristbands or IDs or anything to get pak'd on FPD.

[ben ji]

Who am I going to bump into and possibly orgy with on Saturday?

Also what in the eff is the deal with these wristbands? Back in my day we didn't need wristbands or IDs or anything to get pak'd on FPD.

['taterblast]

 

[8manpick]

What's up?

[mocat]

oh hai guise

[steve dave]

not going, too old

[DQ12]

some one skype me in

['taterblast]

one concern - this is probably the last year that i am going to have a go-to house close to aggieville with people that i know.

[mocat]

not going, too old

not if you enjoy Girl Talk, you're not! 

[The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep]

some one skype me in

First-person head cam work for you?

Don't want to carry around my computer/tablet because I'm afraid of a wrist injury.

[pissclams]

there will be a point in time- and i'm not saying when, where fake patty's day becomes real patty's day and real patty's day becomes fake patty's day. 

you fellas just let your noggins marinate on that one for a little bit, then meet me up in the Cats Pause lounge, 2nd floor, student union. we'll discuss.  bring a fan loaf if you're hungry.

[DQ12]

i don't think fake patty's day will become real patty's day and vice versa.

instead, i think real st patty's day will become fake fake patty's day.  either way, clams, i'll see you in the CPLounge.

[puniraptor]

some one skype me in

dlew are you going to champaignurbana's FPD that they call Unofficial (super lame name, sorry bread)? If so, please post a detailed review!

[JohnCurrie is Weird/Gross]

Will be there! Wearing #teamangel shirt with this over it so when I reveal the t-rex head bam Puerto Rico Flag with #teamangel shirt combined with boss t-rex head that will be ready to drink and party and win the big 12 ship 

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[DQ12]

some one skype me in

dlew are you going to champaignurbana's FPD that they call Unofficial (super lame name, sorry bread)? If so, please post a detailed review!

I already wrote about it on my xanga!

Unofficial St. Patrick's day, otherwise known simply as "Unofficial," is UIUC's version of Fake Patty's Day.  I've always loved getting drunk with my friends, so I've always loved Fake Patty's.  I've especially always loved the solidarity of Fake Patty's.  Per capita, it's the drunkest place in the world on that day.  It couldn't be duplicated.  When my roommates told me about Unofficial back in September, I, in turn, regaled them with tales about Fake Patty's.   They dismissed my explanation with "dude, there are 35,000 people at this school - it's bigger here.  Some one died during it once."  Gotta say, it sounded impressive. 

 

I was still incredulous.  The timing of Unofficial that just didn't make sense to me.  First: the date.  It was yesterday, March 1st, an entire 17 days before actual St. Patrick's Day.  The whole point of these types of things is because real/official St. Patrick's day happens while kids are on Spring Break.  Our spring break starts on the 15th.  Why isn't Unofficial next weekend, while kids are still in Champaign and closer to the date of the actual holiday?  Second: it's on a Friday.  I guess the undergrads skip classes so they can indulge in some pre-sunrise libations, which I can certainly respect.  But why not have it on a Saturday?  The party line explanation is that "Saturday is for recovering."  Even so, why not make Sunday "Recovery Day?"  It was at this point I was told to quit asking so many stupid questions and "drink up, pussy."  The long and short of this means that Fake Patty's is on the appropriate day and Unofficial simply is not.

 

So, being a friday, I had class at 9 and again at 10:30.  I would have drank before class, but I was on call and knew I'd have to answer some of my professor's questions.  After class got out at around noon, we walked straight to the liquor store and then to a big law school party at an apartment.  People were getting really, really drunk.  Elements of that perverse lust for alcohol - drinking just to get recklessly drunk - that I always loved about Fake Patty's were starting to seep through.  At one point, a turkey baster filled with gin was put in my face, and subsequently, its minty contents went down my throat.  The apartment was so crowded that people were congregating outside on the balcony of the third floor apartment. 

Soon enough, though, those pesky flatfoots came in and busted the party.  Apparently, they got some underage chicks to come in and drink to give out some hosting to minors tickets.  Judging from the number of cops they sent (which was no fewer than 15), I'm sure they were disappointed that there were zero underage kids at the party, other than the secret agents they planted.  A cop asked me for my license, and then for my student ID and then told me to get out.  On the way out of the complex, I was able to snap a picture of the whole scene.  A cop saw me do this and told me it was illegal, but I'm not sure about that.

After that, we all went to the bars, which were full, but not packed.  They didn't shut down the street in the bar district.  There was a mass of emerald, shitfaced humanity.  Just a bunch of people at the bars.  The best way to explain it is that it felt like a regular night at the bars, except it was during the day and then the night.

I've always laughed about Fake Patty's Day and been so proud that it's impossible to duplicate it.  No one has a vendetta against sobriety like us EMAWs on Fake Patty's.  Unofficial was a very, very fun time, but it's not the same as Fake Patty's.  Nothing can be. 

 

We're the best in the world.

[Winters]

Will be there! Wearing #teamangel shirt with this over it so when I reveal the t-rex head bam Puerto Rico Flag with #teamangel shirt combined with boss t-rex head that will be ready to drink and party and win the big 12 ship 

that is really great

[Mr Bread]

some one skype me in

dlew are you going to champaignurbana's FPD that they call Unofficial (super lame name, sorry bread)? If so, please post a detailed review!

Yeah, Unofficial was a raging dork fest.  It's a chance for all the unattracitve nerds to get day drunk and make fools of themselves by falling down a lot and making out in public.  Not for elites.  There will be plenty of college of law folks attending obviously.  Dlew should go and report back for sure. 

[Mr Bread]

Oh, you did.

['taterblast]

  dlew

[pissclams]

pretty sure dlew is prob the grand master of unofficial.    oh man dlew you're just taking it with no vaseline in here.  no worries bud, i'm only messing with you. 

[8manpick]

Great story LDew

[puniraptor]

Great review, thanks!

Starting at noon? l o l

By noon Moro street is already a skunk river of green puke.

[kitten_mittons]

Will be there.  How does this thing work nowadays?

[Johnny Wichita]

 

[mocat]

Will be there.  How does this thing work nowadays?

This is what I want to know. eff getting wristbands, imo. I'll drink anywhere.