True story: I had a roommate in college who experienced a sudden onset of what he initially thought was groin area chafing, which he treated with gold bond chowder. It turns out he wasn't chafed, he had herpes. The most baffling aspect is that he actually told his three roommates (me included) without provocation or even interest on our part. Just spilled his beans all over the place one night when we had all gotten back from the bars. It was like he expected some sort of catharsis, but all he got was a room full of

s.
The look on his face when he realized what a horrific mistake he made was amazing. It was a cross between looking like he was going to be sick and the pain from someone having ripped the hair off his taint. So great. For a while after that, one of us would always have a fake disturbing personal revelation to the group upon getting home from the bars. I think that actually helped to soften the blow as opposed to just pretending like he didn't say that stuff except when other people were over and were like what's going on.
So anyway, based upon my research on the subject there's a strong probability that you have herpes
Emo EMAW.