Our ineptitude is already enshrined in Wikipedia.
In American football, if what would normally be a safety is scored on a try, one point is awarded to the scoring team. This is known as the conversion safety and it can be scored by the offense. There are at least two known occurrences of the conversion safety in NCAA Division 1 football - a November 26, 2004 game between Texas and Texas A&M and the 2013 Fiesta Bowl. In both games the kick was blocked, recovered by the defense, and fumbled or thrown back into the end zone.
In college football a conversion safety can also be scored by the defense as well as the offense. While one has never been scored, a defensive conversion safety is the only possible way a team could finish with a single point in an American football game.
So an "offensive" conversion safety is actually pretty simple, if rare. Defense blocks the PAT or conversion, recovers the ball outside the end zone, then gets tackled in the end zone.
A
defensive conversion safety is theoretically possible but would never happen. It would only occur if on the conversion attempt the offense was sacked 97 yards the other way in the opposite end zone. Maybe K-State can make some more history next year.