Author Topic: goEMAW's Little Rascals (best stories of gettin in troubs) (Read 11896 times)

yoga-like_abana · « **Reply #100 on:** January 03, 2013, 09:59:24 AM »

one time when I was probably around 5 or so I took a handful of candy from the westside food4less without paying. my conscious got the best of me though and the next time I was there I put 50cents by the candy.

yoga-like_abana · « **Reply #101 on:** January 03, 2013, 10:00:12 AM »

another time I ripped a huge fart in 4th grade and blamed it on the girl with hearing aids

pissclams · « **Reply #102 on:** January 03, 2013, 10:02:06 AM »

some of you d-bags need to learn to read thread titles because there's a whole lot of doing dumb crap without getting in troubs in this thread.

slobber · « **Reply #103 on:** January 03, 2013, 10:07:28 AM »

Me and another 5th grade buddy wrote a little song/rhyme that started out with:

"T_____ and P_______ fuckin' in the hall, doing what they do best.."

I don't remember the rest of it. Anyway, it fell out of my desk and somebody else picked it up and gave it to the teacher. I never saw my teacher's eyes get so big. She sent me to the principal's office (he was not my "pal"). I had to go home and tell my parents what I had written and then get them to sign a note. Plus serve 3 detentions. I never did tell my parents exactly what I wrote. I just said it was too bad to repeat and that no matter what they did to me, I was not going to tell them. Mom signed the note for me.

Also, I didn't rat out my buddy. I don't roll that way.

yoga-like_abana · « **Reply #104 on:** January 03, 2013, 01:10:19 PM »

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Dr Rick Daris · « **Reply #105 on:** January 03, 2013, 01:31:59 PM »

i once tied my older brother to the chair with some workout equipment and then let the air out of his bicycle tires so that some friends and i could go on a day long adventure and he wouldn't be able to catch us.

bigwillie20 · « **Reply #106 on:** January 03, 2013, 01:34:39 PM »

Quote from: rick daris on January 03, 2013, 01:31:59 PM

i once tied my older brother to the chair with some workout equipment and then let the air out of his bicycle tires so that some friends and i could go on a day long adventure and he wouldn't be able to catch us.

jtksu · « **Reply #107 on:** January 03, 2013, 01:45:13 PM »

Quote from: rick daris on January 03, 2013, 01:31:59 PM

i once tied my older brother to the chair with some workout equipment and then let the air out of his bicycle tires so that some friends and i could go on a day long adventure and he wouldn't be able to catch us.

Hope you had an Asian friend to warn you about possible booty traps.

Bloodfart · « **Reply #108 on:** January 03, 2013, 02:07:52 PM »

Quote from: jtksu on January 03, 2013, 01:45:13 PM

Quote from: rick daris on January 03, 2013, 01:31:59 PM
i once tied my older brother to the chair with some workout equipment and then let the air out of his bicycle tires so that some friends and i could go on a day long adventure and he wouldn't be able to catch us.

Hope you had an Asian friend to warn you about possible booty traps.

booby traps?

felix rex · « **Reply #109 on:** January 03, 2013, 02:12:28 PM »

Quote from: Bloodfart on January 03, 2013, 02:07:52 PM

Quote from: jtksu on January 03, 2013, 01:45:13 PM
Quote from: rick daris on January 03, 2013, 01:31:59 PM
i once tied my older brother to the chair with some workout equipment and then let the air out of his bicycle tires so that some friends and i could go on a day long adventure and he wouldn't be able to catch us.

Hope you had an Asian friend to warn you about possible booty traps.
booby traps?

I think he was being racist about Asian chicks not having boobies.

bigwillie20 · « **Reply #110 on:** January 03, 2013, 02:12:33 PM »

Quote from: Bloodfart on January 03, 2013, 02:07:52 PM

Quote from: jtksu on January 03, 2013, 01:45:13 PM
Quote from: rick daris on January 03, 2013, 01:31:59 PM
i once tied my older brother to the chair with some workout equipment and then let the air out of his bicycle tires so that some friends and i could go on a day long adventure and he wouldn't be able to catch us.

Hope you had an Asian friend to warn you about possible booty traps.
booby traps?

That's what he said, booty traps

Bloodfart · « **Reply #111 on:** January 03, 2013, 02:14:02 PM »

Quote from: bigwillie20 on January 03, 2013, 02:12:33 PM

Quote from: Bloodfart on January 03, 2013, 02:07:52 PM
Quote from: jtksu on January 03, 2013, 01:45:13 PM
Quote from: rick daris on January 03, 2013, 01:31:59 PM
i once tied my older brother to the chair with some workout equipment and then let the air out of his bicycle tires so that some friends and i could go on a day long adventure and he wouldn't be able to catch us.

Hope you had an Asian friend to warn you about possible booty traps.
booby traps?

That's what he said, booty traps

Bloodfart · « **Reply #112 on:** January 03, 2013, 03:57:24 PM »

Last day of 8th grade me and my bros were roaming the school and all of a sudden a crap pain hit me. I ducked into the gym and went behind the stage curtains. Dropped trou and bloop. The funny thing was it stood straight on end. It just stood there erect and unbent. I opened the curtains just enough so it was magnificently displayed.

The custodian found out who done it but nothing ever came of it. He also worked in the high school and when ever we passed in the halls he would give me this knowing nod like I'm watching you.

He is retired now and lives down the street from me. He likes to share the extra tomatoes from his garden with me.

Pittcat · « **Reply #113 on:** January 03, 2013, 04:07:08 PM »

Unruly almost got it right. However:

BEFORE I WAS EVEN IN KINDERGARTEN I went with my mom to pick up my sisters from school. It was around lunch time. As we stood in the hall waiting for them to finish eating, the fire alarm started staring at me. Begging me to pull it. So I did. The whole school was evacuated during lunch time, and I had to go to the principals office at the age of 4.

ltrain · « **Reply #114 on:** January 03, 2013, 04:33:59 PM »

When I was 7 or 8 I was shooting rocks at car tires with my bro's slingshot. Some old lady drove by and I missed her tire and shot out the driver side window. I threw the slingshot into the neighbor's yard and hid under my mom's car but still got caught and grounded.

A couple years later I wanted to shoot hoops in the driveway but my mom's car was in the way. So I opened the door, turned the key on just enough to shift it into neutral and let the car roll down to the end of the driveway. Only I couldn't get the car to stop and clipped the fire hydrant with the driver's side door (nearly ripped it off). Big toubs for ltrain.

Was riding the bus home from a Jr high basketball game and playing truth or dare. Dare was to trade shirts with a girl in our class, when she took her shirt off someone yelled something and the driver (my coach) turned on all the lights. Got in troubs the next day during b-ball practice (she got in more troubs).

Bloodfart · « **Reply #115 on:** January 03, 2013, 04:53:38 PM »

Me and my Bloodfart bros were totally into thundercats back in the day. We made thunder cat weapons using some wood we found in one of the sheds. Used dads bench grinder to make the grips for the nun chucks and sword. I used two nuts and some twine for bolos. Dad beat our asses for totally plugging his grinder wheels with wood particles (they were meant for use on metal only) and ruining a new axe handle. I got in trouble a few days later for boloing one of the calves in the corral. I got that sucker from like 5 feet away.

Mr Bread · « **Reply #116 on:** January 03, 2013, 05:10:43 PM »

Bloodfart, a lot of your stories sound like guys I was friends with as a young Bread and stuff we did. Those guys are pretty much bad persons for the most part today. Like borderline sociopaths and degenerates.

pissclams · « **Reply #117 on:** January 03, 2013, 05:58:22 PM »

i was in 6th grade with clams lil bro on a walking overpass (no cars, only people) above I-35 in Minneapolis, Minn.

we were spitting on cars from above down onto the highway as they'd come flying underneath us. along came two dudes on a motorcycle buzzing down I-35, clams spit on them and made direct facial contact.

clams never thought that a) he'd actually hit the dudes, b) the dudes would get off the highway at the next off ramp, circle back, find the overpass, come up the stairs, take clams new aluminum bat and mash it on the curb and then lay a couple of haymakers into clams's gut. had to make up excuse to clams' mom about what happened to the bat.

clams lil bro got off easy, he was like 5, no damage done.

Bloodfart · « **Reply #118 on:** January 03, 2013, 07:22:26 PM »

Quote from: Mr Bread on January 03, 2013, 05:10:43 PM

Bloodfart, a lot of your stories sound like guys I was friends with as a young Bread and stuff we did. Those guys are pretty much bad persons for the most part today. Like borderline sociopaths and degenerates.

Luckily Bloodfart is surrounded by smart and ethical people.

jtksu · « **Reply #119 on:** January 04, 2013, 12:19:58 AM »

Quote from: pissclams on January 03, 2013, 05:58:22 PM

i was in 6th grade with clams lil bro on a walking overpass (no cars, only people) above I-35 in Minneapolis, Minn.

we were spitting on cars from above down onto the highway as they'd come flying underneath us. along came two dudes on a motorcycle buzzing down I-35, clams spit on them and made direct facial contact.

clams never thought that a) he'd actually hit the dudes, b) the dudes would get off the highway at the next off ramp, circle back, find the overpass, come up the stairs, take clams new aluminum bat and mash it on the curb and then lay a couple of haymakers into clams's gut. had to make up excuse to clams' mom about what happened to the bat.

clams lil bro got off easy, he was like 5, no damage done.

One of my buddies dropped a massive loogie over the Douglas street bridge during Riverfest and it landed right on a dude's head. We got the hell out of there before any haymakers were thrown/landed. Also, we did not have a bat (either wooden or aluminum) on our persons.

The1BigWillie · « **Reply #120 on:** January 04, 2013, 12:54:41 PM »

----
In 6th grade Mrs. Mercer was out in the hall talking to another teacher and we were acting up. She ducked her head in to tell us to pipe down and ducked back out. I flew double birds at the door and looked around the room to make sure everyone saw me before looking back at the door. When I looked back to the door Mrs. Mercer was standing there with her jaw on the floor staring right at me and my double birds.

She yanked me out of the room and into a conference room down the hall and chewed my ass. I bawled my head off and told her my dad would beat me to a pulp (probably true) if he found out. I really felt like a pussy but it worked and I just ended up missing basketball practice that day.

----
Freshman year in HS we were on the bus back from basketball practice and about 8 of us in the back of the bus were reciting 2 Live Crew's nasty nursery rhymes and other lyrics very loudly. The bus driver was a 60 yr old woman. She told our coach and the next day he made us run laps around the court during the entire practice with our hands over our head.

----
When I was 12 or 13 I broke a window with a baseball on the porch connected to our house. When my dad came home he saw it and asked me about it and I said... "That's been like that for weeks. I thought you did it." He mumbled something and shrugged his shoulders. That's when I knew I'd never get in trouble again unless I was caught red handed.

----
When I was 6 my dad told me I couldn't ride my bike in the road. I didn't listen to my dad much and went out on the road on my bike anyway. My bike was pretty janky and didn't have a chain guard and about a 1/2 mile down the road my jeans got stuck in the chain. I hopped off to free myself and right away could hear my dad coming down the road on his 3 wheeler. I feverishly worked at the chain hoping I could free myself and hide in the ditch as he passed. Too late. I heard him pound the accellerator when he saw me. He stopped the 3 wheeler. Freed me from the chain. Didn't say a word. Swatted my ass a few times and made me walk the bike a half mile up the hill back to the house.

---

I did lots of stuff but didn't get caught involving explosives, fire, and vandalism. Another thread I suppose.

Bloodfart · « **Reply #121 on:** January 04, 2013, 01:48:53 PM »

When I was 6 or 7 I was sitting alone in grandpa's pickup truck at the end of the field. It was parked directly behind one of the grain trucks and I was pretending race car. Keys were in it so I started her up and pulled the lever into drive. I was used to manual transmissions and kept trying to step on the clutch pedal that wasn't there. Slowly the old pickup gained speed then crunch right into the rear end of the grain truck.

I backed it up and freaked out when I saw how much damage it did. When dad came to dump the combine I hopped in with him amazed he hadn't noticed the crumpled hood on the truck. I rode with him till we had to unload again. That's when he noticed the truck.

He was like "wow uncle ----- is having a bad day, first he breaks his combine then he backed the grain truck into Gpa's pickup."

I smiled and said "you think you can't dent that out with a hammer?"

Dad looks at me and says "Bloodfart did you do that?"

I

and said it was an accident.

ben ji · « **Reply #122 on:** January 04, 2013, 02:20:10 PM »

Quote from: Bloodfart on January 04, 2013, 01:48:53 PM

When I was 6 or 7 I was sitting alone in grandpa's pickup truck at the end of the field. It was parked directly behind one of the grain trucks and I was pretending race car. Keys were in it so I started her up and pulled the lever into drive. I was used to manual transmissions and kept trying to step on the clutch pedal that wasn't there. Slowly the old pickup gained speed then crunch right into the rear end of the grain truck.

I backed it up and freaked out when I saw how much damage it did. When dad came to dump the combine I hopped in with him amazed he hadn't noticed the crumpled hood on the truck. I rode with him till we had to unload again. That's when he noticed the truck.

He was like "wow uncle ----- is having a bad day, first he breaks his combine then he backed the grain truck into Gpa's pickup."

I smiled and said "you think you can't dent that out with a hammer?"

Dad looks at me and says "Bloodfart did you do that?"

I and said it was an accident.

I just had a mental image of a dad calling his son bloodfart and it made me giggle.