On a scale from Dr. No to Skyfall, I'm From Russia with Love
On a scale from Oatmeal Cookie to Prairie Fire, I'm a Kamikaze.
On a scale from safeties to touchdowns, I'm a field goal that hits this crossbar and bounces over.
On a scale of Hugo Chavez to Adolf Hitler, I'm Boris Yeltsin.
On a scale of Steve Bono to Joe Montana, I'm Elvis Grbac (or Matt Cassel, whichever you think is worse)
On a scale from a bump to an 8-ball, I'm a nice short line.
On a scale of the 1500 to an ultra-marathon, I'm a 5k.