diagnose steve dave's illness

[steve dave]

on the right side of the back of my neck kind of behind my ear there is a swollen gland.  when I move it hurts on that side of my head (kind of back/right side above that gland).  This may not be an actual gland but that's what I call it.  About a marble sized feeling bump that you have to press on my neck right below my skull to feel.  I can't breath really well but my nasal passages are clear.  I have a non-dry cough but it's more because of upper trachial irritation imo.  my personal diagnosis?  cancer of the gland behind my ear.  backup diagnosis?  some sort of bizzare parasite like on that show where people went to africa and came back and their insides are getting eaten by bugs/worms. 

[Rage Against the McKee]

That sounds like lymphoma to me. You had better get that looked at.

[Gooch]

Sounds like Herpes.

[Dr Rick Daris]

sebaceous cyst

[Saulbadguy]

Goiter.

[Trim]

Marfan

[steve dave]

That sounds like lymphoma to me. You had better get that looked at.

that's my thought as well.  been nice knowing you guys.

[steve dave]

sebaceous cyst

googled this. it's not this. also, this looks gross. 

['taterblast]

t's and p's, sd.

[steve dave]

t's and p's, sd.

thanks bro

[_33]

Do you have an infection in your teeth?

[XocolateThundarr]

Allergies with a pulled muscle in your neck.

 Would you care to pay for this diagnosis with Visa, Mastercard, or American Express?

[steve dave]

Do you have an infection in your teeth?

don't think so.  just had my semi-annual checkup like a week ago and everything looked good and the xrays were good and junk.  teeth and gums feel ok. 

[steve dave]

Allergies with a pulled muscle in your neck.

 Would you care to pay for this diagnosis with Visa, Mastercard, or American Express?

I would use my health savings account if this were correct.  unfortunately, it's not. 

[Dr Rick Daris]

sebaceous cyst

googled this. it's not this.

are you sure?

[steve dave]

sebaceous cyst

googled this. it's not this.

are you sure?

yeah

[Dugout DickStone]

Some messed up hawaiian illness.

[Dub]

Is the lump soft or hard?  Is it movable? Have you noticed any change in size?

[steve dave]

Is the lump soft or hard?  Is it movable? Have you noticed any change in size?

feels pretty hard but it's kind of deep under my skin.  doesn't seem to move at all.  size is bigger than before when I didn't know it was there.  probably wouldn't know now if my head didn't hurt and I didn't start probing around.

[pissclams]

my guess is that trim's nut somehow got relocated into the back of your neck.

[steve dave]

my guess is that trim's nut somehow got relocated into the back of your neck.

no, it's a much smaller lump.  I've seen trim's ball jar in pictures.

[steve dave]

Is the lump soft or hard?  Is it movable? Have you noticed any change in size?

feels pretty hard but it's kind of deep under my skin.  doesn't seem to move at all.  size is bigger than before when I didn't know it was there.  probably wouldn't know now if my head didn't hurt and I didn't start probing around.

your questions seem pretty Doctor'y.  Is it cancer dub?  just give it to me straight.  I can take it. 

[Trim]

my guess is that trim's nut somehow got relocated into the back of your neck.

no, it's a much smaller lump.  I've seen trim's ball jar in pictures.

It doesn't completely fill the jar.

[Dub]

Is the lump soft or hard?  Is it movable? Have you noticed any change in size?

feels pretty hard but it's kind of deep under my skin.  doesn't seem to move at all.  size is bigger than before when I didn't know it was there.  probably wouldn't know now if my head didn't hurt and I didn't start probing around.

I would go have it checked out.  You could wait a week and see if it changes in size, tenderness (You want decrease in both), notice any weight loss.  It's probably just a swollen node but if it's hard and fixed it's probably a good idea to get it checked out.  Better to be safe than sorry.  This is not a medical opinion and I'd see someone who actually can see/feel what you are describing.

[steve dave]

OH GOD IT'S rough ridin' CANCER ISN'T IT DUB!?  I WAS LYING WHEN I SAID I COULD TAKE IT.  TAKE SOMEONE ELSE GOD.