I'm thinking this of this as something like a birdwatcher's field guide. Feel free to add (or ignore).
SLTH. Habitat, near empty home arena in large BCS conference.
Migration pattern. Small non-BCS conference, two or three wins in NCAA, job with BCS team with history of limited success, and back to small non-BCS conference.
Song: "The team fought hard and never gave up. I couldn't be more proud of them. We just need to learn to win games."
What to look for: X and Os.
SOLC:.
Habitat, BCS conference arena with more and more empty seats.
Migration pattern: Walks meekly two steps wherever dad went.
Song: "People familiar with the program will know how we're going to do things. But I'm my own man."
What to look for: Dad looking sour in the stands.
DOLC: Disciple of Legendary Coach. Closely related to SOLC, but much more successful.
Habitat: Packed BCS arena.
Migration pattern: Bench of legendary coach, non-BCS school (optional), BCS school.
Song: God##$@ $#%&^ it
What to look for: Hot-shot AAU recruiter on bench.
LHC
Habitat: Packed arena at alma mater or "destination school"
Migration pattern: Moves from ever larger and more successful programs to, eventually, alma mater or two 10 or so top schools in NCAA.
Song: We were very fortunate to win
What to look for: Thinning hair or bad rugs.
