KK,
So sorry about all this man. I'd like to share a few things with you.
A year and a half ago I lost a very close friend. We had grown up together at church and our families are long time friends. He was a groomsman at my wedding. He was a die hard Missouri fan and we had so much fun with that over the years. We went to the 2005, 2006, 2007, and 2009 Mizzou/K-State football games and the 2008 Mizzou/KSU B-Ball game in Columbia (after which as I was leaving the arena I called J-Dub and declared that Bill Walker is a completely selfish player, don't worry, I retracted later). He was also the biggest Royals fan I've ever known (he sold his "Royals Fanship" on ebay late in a 100 loss season, only to have the Royals organization buy it for $5.) We attended probably 50 Royals games together during our friendship. Our last conversation 2 days before he passed was about the trade for Tim Collins from the Braves. He died in his sleep, he had muscular dystrophy.
I know what its like to feel sad. Its ok to feel sad, to let others know how you feel, and to be emotional about your friend. Games feel different when the person you enjoyed them with is gone. I am so thankful to have had a friend like the one I lost, I know you feel the same about Fatty. I hope you feel comforted by friends and family, and by the memories of the times you had.
Losing someone you love sucks. It's shitty. I understand and am so sorry. Fatty was lucky to have someone like you who loved him and appreciated him in a deep, personal way. Remember him fondly.
Let's win the Phillips.
EMAW.