Dear KU fans,
Please begin lining up at that stupid statue of that old guy on the grassy side of Allen Field House at 4:30PM to get the ever-loving sh1t kicked out of your face and ballsacks. I will be cratering the skulls of one KU fan at a time until 6:30 when my mom said I have to meet up with the rest of the family and enter the game. Expect to have punches land so powerfully to your stomach and face that you throw up the planet sub you just ate. You will soon forget about the pain to the rest of your body as I unleash a series of rapid fire ballsack kicks that lift you off the ground and suspend you there for up to 10 seconds. It will appear you are floating in the air under your own power as my ball crushing crane kicks land with such speed they are incomprehensible to the human brain. My bros from my dojo will be there to make sure the line stays single file and orderly and if anyone EVEN F^CKING THINKS about bringing weapons to the human octagon they will hold you down and make you eat dog SH1T. If you bring women with you expect them to be so attracted to me and my bros' obvious sexual superiority to you they either faint or rush towards us. It is at your own peril that you let them near us as they will probably become pregnant which, like Sherron, I have no time for. If my mom comes around, you are to tell her we are playing a game of pick up football and your balls were already all bloody and mutilated like that before you got there. You are to explain to her that you are always whimpering and it has nothing to do with me. She will ground the F^CK out of me if she finds out I was destroying opposing fans again.
Word of warning:
-I pretty much climb to the top of the rope in gym class every time
-I am basically a cross between the monkey guy from bloodsport and Mike Tyson if he kicked more
-I am the best Super Smash Brothers player on my baseball team
