Author Topic: funny or not funny. you decide.  (Read 1104 times)

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Offline Dr Rick Daris

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funny or not funny. you decide.
« on: June 21, 2011, 04:28:57 PM »
just got home and got a call from sprint on my sprint evo cellular phone. lady said "hi is this daris? i'm just calling from sprint to say thank you for being loyal and ask you if you are satisfied"?

i say "yeah. i mean, it's fine and all but the signal strength at my house is actually very bad but i doubt that you can or would do anything about it so it's not really worth complaining to you about".

sprint person said "oh i'm sorry to hear that. i....."

then the call dropped due to lack of signal at my house.




so i ask- funny or not funny? i thought it was kind of funny and even remarked it out loud even though i'm the only one here.


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Offline OK_Cat

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2011, 04:32:06 PM »
funny in a "wow, that's ironic" sort of way.

wouldn't start a stand-up set with it.

Offline Dr Rick Daris

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2011, 04:37:09 PM »
funny in a "wow, that's ironic" sort of way.

wouldn't start a stand-up set with it.

what about starting a stand-up set with this...


"good evening cleveland! how is everybody doing tonight! boy oh boy...i just flew in from manhattan ks and then masturbated in the hotel room before i came here and boy is my arm tired".



anyway, i don't do stand-up but i always figured if i did that this would be how i would start my set. wrote that one when i was @18. then i go straight into about five minutes of masturbation material and then i just go from there. anyway, only really wrote about three minutes of the masturbation stuff and then never got around to writing the other stuff.

Offline OK_Cat

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2011, 04:39:02 PM »
not sure where you'd be able to sneak in the sprint story during a masturbation marathon.

Offline Dr Rick Daris

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2011, 04:41:34 PM »
not sure where you'd be able to sneak in the sprint story during a masturbation marathon.

oh man then. remind me to not hire you to help co-write any material if i do decide to try and to stand-up some day.

"is this thing on? tap...tap..." -okcat

Offline EllToPay

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2011, 04:42:41 PM »
just got home and got a call from sprint on my sprint evo cellular phone. lady said "hi is this daris? i'm just calling from sprint to say thank you for being loyal and ask you if you are satisfied"?

i say "yeah. i mean, it's fine and all but the signal strength at my house is actually very bad but i doubt that you can or would do anything about it so it's not really worth complaining to you about".

sprint person said "oh i'm sorry to hear that. i....."

then the call dropped due to lack of signal at my house.




so i ask- funny or not funny? i thought it was kind of funny and even remarked it out loud even though i'm the only one here.

no

Offline Dr Rick Daris

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #6 on: June 21, 2011, 04:46:59 PM »
just got home and got a call from sprint on my sprint evo cellular phone. lady said "hi is this daris? i'm just calling from sprint to say thank you for being loyal and ask you if you are satisfied"?

i say "yeah. i mean, it's fine and all but the signal strength at my house is actually very bad but i doubt that you can or would do anything about it so it's not really worth complaining to you about".

sprint person said "oh i'm sorry to hear that. i....."

then the call dropped due to lack of signal at my house.




so i ask- funny or not funny? i thought it was kind of funny and even remarked it out loud even though i'm the only one here.

no

what about maybe we say that i was hopping up and down at the time because somebody gave me one of those "hot feet" with the match and the stuff on the shoe? funny then?

Offline OK_Cat

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #7 on: June 21, 2011, 04:47:31 PM »
not sure where you'd be able to sneak in the sprint story during a masturbation marathon.

oh man then. remind me to not hire you to help co-write any material if i do decide to try and to stand-up some day.

"is this thing on? tap...tap..." -okcat

i mean, i guess you could say that you were in the middle of a 3-hour jerkfest while watching the olsen twins movies when sprint called, and then insert that story, and then say something like "how am i supposed to finish with sub-par service?"


Offline Dr Rick Daris

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #8 on: June 21, 2011, 04:59:19 PM »
not sure where you'd be able to sneak in the sprint story during a masturbation marathon.

oh man then. remind me to not hire you to help co-write any material if i do decide to try and to stand-up some day.

"is this thing on? tap...tap..." -okcat

i mean, i guess you could say that you were in the middle of a 3-hour jerkfest while watching the olsen twins movies when sprint called, and then insert that story, and then say something like "how am i supposed to finish with sub-par service?"



i'd probably do this...i'd start with my original masturbating boy is my arm tired joke and then when it bombed i'd be all like "oh jesus. didn't know i landed in god capital usa. good lord. buncha nancy francy pantsies around here. fine then. just fine. sorry... i'll tone it down and we'll talk about something else..........who here has a cell phone, who has SPRINT? ok fine......out of all the people that have SPRINT, who if anyone, big question here gang.... who if anyone, will allow me to take their sprint phone and shove it up my ass and then masturbate while we try to see if the service gets any worse because honest to god i don't see how it can!?!!? i'd say the last part really fast and in their face and stuff and then i'd go from there but i'd probably start to get over the top and i'd prob start saying some vulgar things from there. but that'd prob be how i'd start.

Offline Johnny Wichita

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #9 on: June 21, 2011, 05:01:28 PM »
Funnier that they called you Daris.  She must read the board. 

Offline WillieWatanabe

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #10 on: June 21, 2011, 07:12:56 PM »
 :thumbs:
Sometimes I think of the Book of Job and how God likes to really eff with people.
- chunkles

Offline KST8FAN

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #11 on: October 15, 2020, 07:45:26 PM »
https://amp.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/national/article246476260.html

“So you’re saying you guys are what? Volunteer firefighters?” the officer asked.  That sparked a fight that can be heard but not seen in the video."

I didn't want to drop this in the pit police threads as this is more about the fire fivhters.  Didnt realize calling a full time ff a volunteer was fighting words.


Tom



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Offline WillieWatanabe

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #12 on: October 15, 2020, 09:12:11 PM »
i assume firefighters are quite delighted that cops are being exposed lately.
Sometimes I think of the Book of Job and how God likes to really eff with people.
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Offline DQ12

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #13 on: October 15, 2020, 10:45:18 PM »
I have about 3 tight minutes of standup.

Man airline food, huh?  Remember that?  We don’t have it anymore because people were mean about how it tasted bad, but you know what?  I’d LIKE to eat airline food on a plane, even if it didn’t taste very good!  I get hungry!


"You want to stand next to someone and not be able to hear them, walk your ass into Manhattan, Kansas." - [REDACTED]

Offline DQ12

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #14 on: October 15, 2020, 10:46:01 PM »
Also yes, that story is funny Ofc. D.


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Offline puniraptor

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #15 on: October 16, 2020, 02:46:06 AM »
Anything but that DELTA BREAKFAST STROMBOLI  :barf:

Offline MakeItRain

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #16 on: October 16, 2020, 03:46:13 AM »
https://amp.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/national/article246476260.html

“So you’re saying you guys are what? Volunteer firefighters?” the officer asked.  That sparked a fight that can be heard but not seen in the video."

I didn't want to drop this in the pit police threads as this is more about the fire fivhters.  Didnt realize calling a full time ff a volunteer was fighting words.


Tom



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All the dispatcher chatter kinda ruins the video but Pearl Jam Alive playing while they're fighting and ol boy getting tazed, is great.

Offline IPA4Me

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #17 on: October 16, 2020, 05:30:51 AM »
https://amp.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/national/article246476260.html

“So you’re saying you guys are what? Volunteer firefighters?” the officer asked.  That sparked a fight that can be heard but not seen in the video."

I didn't want to drop this in the pit police threads as this is more about the fire fivhters.  Didnt realize calling a full time ff a volunteer was fighting words.


Tom



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Those were some drunk ff. Thought they'd fall down if they pulled their hands off the vehicle.

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« Last Edit: October 16, 2020, 01:10:46 PM by IPA4Me »

Offline Brock Landers

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #18 on: October 16, 2020, 09:50:25 AM »
I wonder if Daris ever hit up an open mic night somewhere and then just killed the crowd with a set of jerkoff jokes?

Offline pissclams

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #19 on: October 16, 2020, 01:47:50 PM »
i'd start my airline food section of my stand up bit with this one-

even wonder why they call it "airline food"?  do airlines eat peanuts and ritz crackers?  this is just bad human food!
hey, i went through the drive through at wendy's  the other day and got some car food.  look at those people eating building food inside that restaurant    :facepalm:


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New warning: Don't get in a fight with someone who doesn't even need to bother to buy ink.

Offline pissclams

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #20 on: October 16, 2020, 01:48:26 PM »
audience:  :lol:  lmao


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Offline pissclams

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #21 on: October 16, 2020, 01:49:47 PM »
then i'd take a sip of water and spit it out all over the front row and yell, "this comedy club drink is terrible!"

the audience is in tears at this point of the show and i only just started wow


Cheesy Mustache QB might make an appearance.

New warning: Don't get in a fight with someone who doesn't even need to bother to buy ink.

Offline DQ12

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #22 on: October 16, 2020, 01:53:16 PM »
cani borrow that for my set?


"You want to stand next to someone and not be able to hear them, walk your ass into Manhattan, Kansas." - [REDACTED]

Offline DQ12

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #23 on: October 16, 2020, 01:53:40 PM »
i'll credit you.


"You want to stand next to someone and not be able to hear them, walk your ass into Manhattan, Kansas." - [REDACTED]

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Re: funny or not funny. you decide.
« Reply #24 on: October 16, 2020, 01:55:04 PM »
Also what's the deal with fast food? It never looks fast to me. I've never had a burger escape! It should be standing still food
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