Author Topic: Wedding gift etiquette (Read 10385 times)

j rake · « **on:** March 14, 2011, 03:45:47 PM »

If you get invited to a wedding you don't want to attend, should you still send a wedding gift?

(I have a very strong opinion on this topic but don't want to share it out of fear that sys will scream at me.)

WildcatNkilt · « **Reply #1 on:** March 14, 2011, 03:49:14 PM »

Yes you "should". But you should not feel obligated to spend as much as if you were going to the wedding. I usually do gift cards or checks with a nice wedding card.

When I go to a wedding, I usually spend a lot more since they are spending a good chunk of money on me (and wife) for food, drinks, etc.

If it is someone you don't like and question why they sent you an invite in the first place, go ahead and don't send them a gift so you can cut them off completely.

Edit: Best wedding etiquette is to RSVP. Non RSVP'ers piss me off. Sucks having to call everyone cause they can't take 30 seconds to RSVP online.

ew2x4 · « **Reply #2 on:** March 14, 2011, 03:50:21 PM »

Totally depends on relationship. And if they went to your wedding.

michigancat · « **Reply #3 on:** March 14, 2011, 03:50:52 PM »

If you don't want to attend, who cares what they think?

side note: wedding gifts are such a rough ridin' scam. I mean how else would their still be waffle irons otherwise.

OK_Cat · « **Reply #4 on:** March 14, 2011, 03:54:22 PM »

probably depends on how close you are to them. but if you're not close enough that you feel you have to attend, you're probably not close enough to worry about getting them something. Send a card.

Rage Against the McKee · « **Reply #5 on:** March 14, 2011, 03:56:00 PM »

If I'm not going to the wedding, I send a card with a $20 check. I don't send anything if I don't like the person. If I go to the wedding, I usually spend about $50 on a gift.

CNS · « **Reply #6 on:** March 14, 2011, 03:59:13 PM »

I hate weddings. I would stay home from all of them if given a true choice.

That said, I still have to send a gift to some of them.

If neither my wife or I like them, no gift.

AppleJack · « **Reply #7 on:** March 14, 2011, 04:00:53 PM »

http://goEMAW.com/forum/index.php?topic=641.0

michigancat · « **Reply #8 on:** March 14, 2011, 04:04:50 PM »

Quote from: AppleJack on March 14, 2011, 04:00:53 PM

http://goEMAW.com/forum/index.php?topic=641.0

Quote from: michigancat on February 05, 2010, 07:44:54 PM

I hate wedding gifts with a passion. It's just incredibly wasteful, even when compared to other wedding expenses. Really, weddings are the biggest sham in history. I recommend eloping.

heh

AppleJack · « **Reply #9 on:** March 14, 2011, 04:06:44 PM »

I think some people invite you knowing full well you arent coming and hope they will send you a gift. I want to fist fight people like this.

Pete · « **Reply #10 on:** March 14, 2011, 05:14:28 PM »

Ask Fatty!

Kat Kid · « **Reply #11 on:** March 14, 2011, 06:13:41 PM »

jtksu · « **Reply #12 on:** March 14, 2011, 07:03:40 PM »

Interesting that okcat has such insight into this matter. I didn't realize that the photographer was expected to bring a gift. Seems like they could just deduct the cost of the gift from the $50 they pay him.

Rage Against the McKee · « **Reply #13 on:** March 14, 2011, 08:41:12 PM »

Quote from: jtksu on March 14, 2011, 07:03:40 PM

Interesting that okcat has such insight into this matter. I didn't realize that the photographer was expected to bring a gift. Seems like they could just deduct the cost of the gift from the $50 they pay him.

More like $1500.

Trim · « **Reply #14 on:** March 14, 2011, 09:46:58 PM »

jtksu · « **Reply #15 on:** March 15, 2011, 01:04:55 AM »

You paid okcat $1500 to take pics of your wedding? What a dumbass.

steve dave · « **Reply #16 on:** March 15, 2011, 07:56:39 AM »

slucat · « **Reply #17 on:** March 15, 2011, 09:09:02 AM »

As I've gotten older (read early 30's and married myself) my outlook on this has changed. As a recent graduate, I didn't always send a gift, or a card, after I got married, I send a gift ($$) in a card. The only wedding I recently didn't do anything for was my cousin who got married last summer, he didn't even RSVP to my wedding and it was his second marriage, so nothing for them.

In short, if the bride or groom gave you something or you would expect them to give you something, then you should reciprocate.

wetwillie · « **Reply #18 on:** March 15, 2011, 10:45:00 AM »

Quote from: slucat on March 15, 2011, 09:09:02 AM

As I've gotten older (read early 30's and married myself) my outlook on this has changed. As a recent graduate, I didn't always send a gift, or a card, after I got married, I send a gift ($$) in a card. The only wedding I recently didn't do anything for was my cousin who got married last summer, he didn't even RSVP to my wedding and it was his second marriage, so nothing for them.

In short, if the bride or groom gave you something or you would expect them to give you something, then you should reciprocate.

You married yourself? Like performed the ceromony or for tax fraud?

john "teach me how to" dougie · « **Reply #19 on:** March 15, 2011, 12:18:39 PM »

Seems weird to give cheesy gifts to someone that just wasted tens of thousands on a big wedding. Yea, weddings can be fun, but what a waste of money.

Rage Against the McKee · « **Reply #20 on:** March 15, 2011, 04:06:30 PM »

Quote from: jtksu on March 15, 2011, 01:04:55 AM

You paid okcat $1500 to take pics of your wedding? What a dumbass.

My wife's parents are free to pay whatever they want to whomever they want. It's their money. If you want a professional photographer to take pictures of you for announcements, invitations, save-the-dates, and the actual wedding itself, the cheapest you will find is about $1000. It will be about $1500 for somebody good. These prices do not include photos. Those are an additional $50-200 per depending on the size. Wedding photographers make bank.

If I were in charge, I would have just paid some dude I knew $50 to take pictures on my cheap camera. It's probably a good thing I wasn't in charge.

WildcatNkilt · « **Reply #21 on:** March 15, 2011, 04:10:36 PM »

Quote from: Nuts Kicked on March 15, 2011, 04:06:30 PM

Quote from: jtksu on March 15, 2011, 01:04:55 AM
You paid okcat $1500 to take pics of your wedding? What a dumbass.

My wife's parents are free to pay whatever they want to whomever they want. It's their money. If you want a professional photographer to take pictures of you for announcements, invitations, save-the-dates, and the actual wedding itself, the cheapest you will find is about $1000. It will be about $1500 for somebody good. These prices do not include photos. Those are an additional $50-200 per depending on the size. Wedding photographers make bank.

If I were in charge, I would have just paid some dude I knew $50 to take pictures on my cheap camera. It's probably a good thing I wasn't in charge.

Yea photos are expensive. A lot of photographers won't give you rights to the photos after the wedding, making all photo purchases go through them. Luckily for my wedding we found a great photographer who gave us the photo rights so we could get them printed wherever the hell we wanted.

Rage Against the McKee · « **Reply #22 on:** March 15, 2011, 04:18:28 PM »

Quote from: john "teach me how to" dougie on March 15, 2011, 12:18:39 PM

Seems weird to give cheesy gifts to someone that just wasted tens of thousands on a big wedding. Yea, weddings can be fun, but what a waste of money.

Yeah, it doesn't seem weird at all to show up to a wedding, eat a $10-15 plate of food, drink for free all night, and not give any money or gift to the people who provided that to you.

KSUTOMMY · « **Reply #23 on:** March 15, 2011, 04:32:34 PM »

Buy 'em something you cheap bastard! If you can re-gift, then do it. I re-gifted a George Foreman mini and they thought it was the most thoughtful thing in the world as it wasn't on the register.

Re: wedding cost - our's was $12k and that included the food (catered by Coco Bolos

), booze (a TON) and photos. All my wife's freinds squeeled and called it a great deal I was like

.

My sister dropped $60k on her's. She has bank and it was her coin. Her dress alone was $15k. I thought it was a MONSTROUS waste of $, but it was hers so again I provided her with a

OK_Cat · « **Reply #24 on:** March 15, 2011, 04:34:51 PM »

yeah, i've shot 1 wedding in my life and i got $1800 for it. weddings are a pretty good business for people that do those things. $200+ for a cake? cake lady is raking it in.