5. Church attendance will double(should develop a scam or "service" to take financial advantage of this)
It's called rapture insurance and I've already got it covered.
Think a loved one will not be raptured up with the rapture? For only $20 a month we will guarantee an equally unsaved body to stay behind and help coach 'em up so they'll be ready for the second coming. It's only $20 a month to guarantee an eternity with your loved ones.
Commonly asked questions:
Q: What if the loved one I bought insurance for is indeed raptured up by the rapture? What happens to my money?
A: Be assured that even though you get no refund since you will no longer need money, it is in good hands.
Q: If you guarantee an equally unsaved person will stay behind, how do you know he will teach my loved one the correct steps?
A: Because the equally unsaved one has done everything needed to be saved, but is willing to sacrifice by committing one last sin and not asking for forgiveness just to be here with your loved ones.