Author Topic: If your ass is wider than 18"...  (Read 10338 times)

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Offline puniraptor

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If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #75 on: September 04, 2012, 07:10:07 PM »
Chairbacks (not the seat cushions but actual folding chairs) instead of bleachers do wonders when it comes to keeping the obese out of your seat.  Replace every row of bleachers with purple chairs.

This does NOT work at Sprint Center.

Offline Cartierfor3

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #76 on: September 04, 2012, 08:51:44 PM »
I was doing some ass math in my head.  So let's say a person's waist is 34".  Of that 34" I would guess 10" is vertical when sitting, meaning 5" on each hip.  That leaves 24", a 12" wide ass approximately, add say another 2" for clothing and that's still only 14".  4 inches to spare for the seat, which seams right.  So what is the tipping point on being too fat in terms of waist band length?  40"?  42"?  44"? 

Seems like the average dude is between a 32" and 36" waist, maybe even a 38", and they usually fit in comfortably.  Even 2 bros with a 36" waist each shouldn't feel crowded IMO.

Any math geniuses able to create an ass formula better than mine?

Offline SdK

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #77 on: September 04, 2012, 08:59:11 PM »
If you can't "move over, that ass too fat"  :dance:

Offline Mrs. Gooch

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #78 on: September 04, 2012, 09:10:04 PM »
I was doing some ass math in my head.  So let's say a person's waist is 34".  Of that 34" I would guess 10" is vertical when sitting, meaning 5" on each hip.  That leaves 24", a 12" wide ass approximately, add say another 2" for clothing and that's still only 14".  4 inches to spare for the seat, which seams right.  So what is the tipping point on being too fat in terms of waist band length?  40"?  42"?  44"? 

Seems like the average dude is between a 32" and 36" waist, maybe even a 38", and they usually fit in comfortably.  Even 2 bros with a 36" waist each shouldn't feel crowded IMO.

Any math geniuses able to create an ass formula better than mine?

That formula might work for most men, but not for women. You'd need to use hip size instead of waist. And you need to account for the fact that your ass widens a little when you sit.

Here's the formula I came up with based on some empirical data.

A = [(H-10)/2] x 1.07

A = ass width in inches
H = hip measurement in inches

Offline Trim

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #79 on: September 04, 2012, 09:14:02 PM »
So these fat fucks forced you into shittier seats?

Offline Mrs. Gooch

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #80 on: September 04, 2012, 09:17:31 PM »
We got moved a few rows back/higher in the same section so it might actually be a better view. And we can look down and pity whoever has to sit by the fat fucks at the next game.

Offline SkinnyBenny

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #81 on: September 04, 2012, 09:19:07 PM »
So wait, did you PI the fat people or the Athletic Department?
"walking around mhk and crying in the rain because of love lost is the absolute purest and best thing in the world.  i hope i fall in love during the next few weeks and get my heart broken and it starts raining just to experience it one last time."   --Dlew12

Offline Gooch

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #82 on: September 04, 2012, 09:19:22 PM »
So these fat fucks forced you into shittier seats?
Actually better. I was a little to low to see where we were before.

Offline Emo EMAW

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #83 on: September 04, 2012, 09:19:48 PM »
Grumblings that there are fat asses in this thread pretending not to be fat asses.  You know who you are.  Fat Ass.

Offline Mrs. Gooch

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #84 on: September 04, 2012, 09:23:23 PM »
So wait, did you PI the fat people or the Athletic Department?

Yes*

*Well Gooch PId the Athletic Department.
« Last Edit: September 04, 2012, 09:34:52 PM by Mrs. Gooch »

Offline SkinnyBenny

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #85 on: September 04, 2012, 09:29:55 PM »
You ARE a treasure.
"walking around mhk and crying in the rain because of love lost is the absolute purest and best thing in the world.  i hope i fall in love during the next few weeks and get my heart broken and it starts raining just to experience it one last time."   --Dlew12

Offline Trim

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #86 on: September 04, 2012, 09:33:20 PM »
I hope the call was recorded.

Offline SkinnyBenny

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #87 on: September 04, 2012, 09:42:29 PM »
post the call here.
"walking around mhk and crying in the rain because of love lost is the absolute purest and best thing in the world.  i hope i fall in love during the next few weeks and get my heart broken and it starts raining just to experience it one last time."   --Dlew12

Offline john "teach me how to" dougie

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #88 on: September 04, 2012, 10:30:45 PM »
18" wide turnstiles would solve the problem.

Make it 14".  Fat people are like cats when it comes to squeezing into a place that sells turkey legs, deep fried Oreos, & kettle corn.  A 22" wide person could easily squeeze through; seems like the operation buzzer would be the way to go.


Sent from my iPhone using DealWithItBitches.

Did you not see where I proposed this idea and had operation style sirens if they brushed up an edge thus disqualifying them?  :curse:

Sorry SDK.  :D

Offline SdK

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Re: If your ass is wider than 18"...
« Reply #89 on: September 04, 2012, 10:42:04 PM »
18" wide turnstiles would solve the problem.

Make it 14".  Fat people are like cats when it comes to squeezing into a place that sells turkey legs, deep fried Oreos, & kettle corn.  A 22" wide person could easily squeeze through; seems like the operation buzzer would be the way to go.


Sent from my iPhone using DealWithItBitches.

Did you not see where I proposed this idea and had operation style sirens if they brushed up an edge thus disqualifying them?  :curse:

Sorry SDK.  :D

 :cheers:  :D (my favorite,  :thumbsup: is second) :D