Bad Luck oscar

[CHONGS]

It seems as if oscar is just a magnet for bad luck.  Anyone know voodoo or other Dark Arts that can be used to help poor oscar out?  Maybe someone should present oscar with a lucky charm of some sort to help out, and explain how it's to help him end his 6 or so straight years of bad breaks and unlucky bounces.

[unleashthemob]

It seems as if oscar is just a magnet for bad luck.  Anyone know voodoo or other Dark Arts that can be used to help poor oscar out?  Maybe someone should present oscar with a lucky charm of some sort to help out, and explain how it's to help him end his 6 or so straight years of bad breaks and unlucky bounces.

sounds like a perfect match for us

[steve dave]

Maybe if he tries to coach really bad he will end up coaching really good and getting good recruits and junk.  He would have to really mean it when trying to coach bad though.  Couldn't just fake it hoping to lasso the bad luck for his own good.  Maybe we make his compensation based on his performing poorly? 

[kso_FAN]

BLITB?

[Trim]

I remember Pete used to be really good with the curses, hexes, etc.

[Saulbadguy]

oscar Weber's patronus is a duck-billed platypus.

[0.42]

oscar Weber's patronus is a duck-billed platypus.

oh my god

[Pete]

I remember Pete used to be really good with the curses, hexes, etc.

Yep.

I assume this worked for Chingon, so if someone knows oscar Weber's email address, maybe pass it along to him as well.

First, it's about time we had this thread...can't tell you how many times I wanted to start it, but was nervous it would jinx me.  So, thanks for that Chings.

Second, you have a full-on East Georgia Mulatto Hex on you right now.  That's the bad news. 




The good news is that my uncle was a Pottawatomie Shaman, and my godfather was a Pentecostal snake handler, so I know a thing or two about these sorts of things.  Also, I was the MVW at fantasy warlock camp in '02, and don't really think I've lost a step.


This is going to be a complicated process but I need you to do the following 5 things before tomorrow night:

1.  Obtain a chicken mask...I'd check the wholesale stores.  This would be easier if we were near All Hallows Eve.
2.  Get a fully ripened plantain.  This may be hard in Manhattan, but necessary.
3.  Purchase (DO NOT BORROW) a full length mirror.
4.  Using mud from your own yard (or your apartment building, but it MUST be property on which you live) draw/paint a giant six sided star (e.g. star of David) on your naked chest.  DO NOT DRAW A FIVE SIDED STAR UNLESS YOU WANT TO COMMUNE WITH A DEMON!
5.  Strip naked, insert the plantain into your anus, place the chicken mask on your head/face, and masturbate in front of the full length mirror until you climax. 

It's important, but not mission critical, that you "finish" step 5 as quickly as possible, but do not "hurry."

PM me when this is complete.  God speed.