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General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: WildcatNkilt on November 06, 2013, 03:22:19 PM
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I thought this subject needed its own thread. If there is one out there please merge.
Were you picked on as a kid (or now)? Were you the bully?
Hot topic in our culture today. You see news about kids committing suicide from getting heckled or bullied online, in class, etc. Bullying awareness has seemed to grow in the past few years with shows like Glee bringing high attention to the subject. Kevin Keitzman was bullied at his workplace, Incognito was being a bully at his workplace.
What are everyone's thoughts on the subject?
I saw this FB status on my feed yesterday:
So tired of hearing about bulleying and this whole deal with Jonathan martin your a grown man stand up and deal with it like a man!!! And as far as bullying is concerned as awhole just makes me think about how soft americans are nowadays just like warm butter...what ever happened to standing up for yourself and making a stand if you get your ass kick you get it kicked but at least your making a stand...if this offends anyone delete me but its embarrassing that kids can't stand up for themselves nowadays and how our society just wants to sit there and make excuse after excuse. Parents teach your children to stand up for themselves....thank you and have a great day
How far is too far? How do we teach the new generation to stand up for themselves and others when it has gone too far? How do we as adults intervene when we see it at work or as a teacher? How do we ensure the environment provides a safe haven for those to go when they need to report a bully?
Some of the responses to that FB status were mixed:
And people wonder why me and my daughter play fight! Always saying she is a girl she don't need to do that. Well she is a girl and she will stand up for herself when that day comes
The problem with kids who bully is that it's learned behavior for the most part- the parents encourage it. It's sad and an excellent example of bad parenting. Victims are also taught to be victims- I wasn't ever in a position to really need to stand up to a bully but I was taught to be a hard target. Which is what I'll teach my son along with self defense.
I agree that parents should teach their kids to stand up for themselves, but I also think the same needs to be said about teaching your children to care about others and treat others with respect.
Thoughts on the subject?
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Some of the biggest wimps in the world pretend they would fight anyone who crossed them because they stand up for themselves and they love to say if they got beat up, so be it.
they are generally liars trying to sound tough.
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I was never really exposed to bullying growing up. I mean, I was, but not to the degree you hear stories about. I never saw anyone do anything extreme and really only witnessed someone cry from being bullied once or twice and that was at a really young age. by the time I was in high school it was pretty non-existant. I think growing up in a very small town sheltered me from a lot of stuff like that. it makes me sad to think about though.
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it's a double-edged sword.
If you teach your kids to stand up for themselves, then they potentially get kicked out of school for doing so. But if you teach them to take it and report it, then they get that mentality and can be seen as tattletales. Part of the reason it has worsened is that kids can't get away from it. When i was a kid, if you were getting picked on, you could usually just avoid them, now with social media, etc. there are whole new avenues for bullying. And unlike when I was a kid and someone called you fat, it was said and then gone. Now, if someone posts about a kid it's there for all to see unless deleted.
There are certainly inarguable results from being bullied, and that is a problem. Not sure what the solution is.
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Never really been bullied cause you know 6 ft 4 inches 225 pounds of solid steel, but we raise our children to respect others and bullying is not tolerated in our household. We also expect that if our kids notice someone else being bullied to not ignore it. Either report it to a teacher or be willing to stand up for someone who has trouble standing up for themselves. My :th_twocents: anyway.
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kids that are bullies are just the rough ridin' worst. i was never bullied as a kid, but i knew of kids who were and are pretty messed up now because of it.
now with everyone more publicly announcing their stance on gays, it is getting worse. we just had some local teen kill himself because his dad kicked him out of the house because he was gay.
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kids that are bullies are just the rough ridin' worst. i was never bullied as a kid, but i knew of kids who were and are pretty messed up now because of it.
now with everyone more publicly announcing their stance on gays, it is getting worse. we just had some local teen kill himself because his dad kicked him out of the house because he was gay.
That sucks. It's pretty scary how far bullying can go and with social media, stuff gets out there and it doesn't go away. I honestly don't know what I would do if one of my kids got bullied to the point they were coming home crying every day. Probably go beat the crap out of the other kids dad or something.
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I was never really exposed to bullying growing up. I mean, I was, but not to the degree you hear stories about. I never saw anyone do anything extreme and really only witnessed someone cry from being bullied once or twice and that was at a really young age. by the time I was in high school it was pretty non-existant. I think growing up in a very small town sheltered me from a lot of stuff like that. it makes me sad to think about though.
Interesting. I also grew up in a small town, but bullying was always present. Sadly, it seemed like everyone (including myself) was too scared at a young age to stand up for the ones being bullied due to the bullies outnumbering the ones being bullied. Because it was a small community, it wasn't easy to find a new group of people to hang out with.
This also reminds me of the Maryville rape situation where students bullied the girl for accusing the guy of raping her. I mean...what is wrong with people?
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Never really been bullied cause you know 6 ft 4 inches 225 pounds of solid steel, but we raise our children to respect others and bullying is not tolerated in our household. We also expect that if our kids notice someone else being bullied to not ignore it. Either report it to a teacher or be willing to stand up for someone who has trouble standing up for themselves. My :th_twocents: anyway.
:thumbs: (except the 225 solid steel)
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one of my friends 7 year old daughters had to take a leave from school because she was being bullied so bad. A normal, healthy, 7yo girl.
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There were a few times I wish I would have thrown a punch instead of laughing off whatever happened. But like when you're 12 getting hit in the face hurts a lot more than when you're 30.
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I was never really exposed to bullying growing up. I mean, I was, but not to the degree you hear stories about. I never saw anyone do anything extreme and really only witnessed someone cry from being bullied once or twice and that was at a really young age. by the time I was in high school it was pretty non-existant. I think growing up in a very small town sheltered me from a lot of stuff like that. it makes me sad to think about though.
Interesting. I also grew up in a small town, but bullying was always present. Sadly, it seemed like everyone (including myself) was too scared at a young age to stand up for the ones being bullied due to the bullies outnumbering the ones being bullied. Because it was a small community, it wasn't easy to find a new group of people to hang out with.
This also reminds me of the Maryville rape situation where students bullied the girl for accusing the guy of raping her. I mean...what is wrong with people?
that absolutely sucks re. your hometown. I wonder if everyone saw things the same way I did where I grew up though. I think they did but maybe I missed it.
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I was never really exposed to bullying growing up. I mean, I was, but not to the degree you hear stories about. I never saw anyone do anything extreme and really only witnessed someone cry from being bullied once or twice and that was at a really young age. by the time I was in high school it was pretty non-existant. I think growing up in a very small town sheltered me from a lot of stuff like that. it makes me sad to think about though.
Interesting. I also grew up in a small town, but bullying was always present. Sadly, it seemed like everyone (including myself) was too scared at a young age to stand up for the ones being bullied due to the bullies outnumbering the ones being bullied. Because it was a small community, it wasn't easy to find a new group of people to hang out with.
This also reminds me of the Maryville rape situation where students bullied the girl for accusing the guy of raping her. I mean...what is wrong with people?
and then, it seems to me that the parents in Maryville supported the bullying of the girl. That is really effed up.
In my small town, there was no bullying like you hear about today. I could probably change sd's town to mine and then say exactly what he said.
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i never saw too much of it, and i was always annoyed by high school movies where bullying was like constant, particularly between jocks and nerds or whatever.
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one of my friends 7 year old daughters had to take a leave from school because she was being bullied so bad. A normal, healthy, 7yo girl.
Do you know what happened? This hits close to home for me because I have a 6 (almost 7) year old girl. It scares me that bullying to this extreme could start at such a young age. Also, did the school not get involved? And what kind of parent would allow their kid to bully a little girl to the point of her being taken out of school.
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Guys one time I apparently bullied this kid (I didn't think I was bullying) and he told me about it years later and I said I was sorry and we :cheers:
So I guess what I'm saying is sometimes you're bullying and you don't know it.
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one of my friends 7 year old daughters had to take a leave from school because she was being bullied so bad. A normal, healthy, 7yo girl.
Do you know what happened? This hits close to home for me because I have a 6 (almost 7) year old girl. It scares me that bullying to this extreme could start at such a young age. Also, did the school not get involved? And what kind of parent would allow their kid to bully a little girl to the point of her being taken out of school.
you know, IU haven't asked since he told me. They were thinking about changing schools, but not sure. This was even at a small Catholic school. The school was aware of the issue, but pretty unresponsive.
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In Jr. High we had to walk 4 blocks from the Jr. High School to the High School for band practice. On the way back to Jr. High, I kicked a beer bottle that was lying on the ground. It rolled in front of this REALLY FAT girl who I was actually always nice to. Anyway, she told the principal that I bullied her on the walk and I had to write an apology note to her. I was never as nice to her after that BS, but I never bullied her or kicked another beer bottle when she was around.
What I am saying is, "I get what you are saying EMO."
Also, she never killed herself, at least not that I am aware of.
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Lot of ppl saying they never really saw it. I saw a little, but nothing crazy. I have a feeling that many say they haven't witnessed it not because it wasn't happening, but because prior to social media, it could be something of a private thing. Bullies don't always broadcast they are assholes and those being bullied certainly wouldn't want to advertize that they are someone to be bullied.
I had a pretty wide spectrum of friends in HS and JR high that ranged from popular to not. One or two of the latter ppl had some stories that I wouldn't have heard about if not friends with them.
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There is a difference between bullying and being mean or rude. The term bully is used way too often
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There is a difference between bullying and being mean or rude. The term bully is used way too often
Fully agree here.
to me, bullying is repeated and focused.
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There is a difference between bullying and being mean or rude. The term bully is used way too often
there is, but being rude or mean to a person on a persistent and consistent basis without cause would equate to bullying in my mind.
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i was definitely a bully at one point in my life. it was very uncool of me and im not proud of it.
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I think we bully Beems. :nono:
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I didn't witness any physical bullying, but there were some kids who faced verbal assaults every day, and you could tell that it really bothered them. Nobody stepped in because it wasn't like they were getting their ass kicked or something. I'm just glad that social media didn't exist when I was in school, because I'm not sure how those kids would have coped if they had to deal with that crap even when they weren't at school.
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I didn't witness any physical bullying, but there were some kids who faced verbal assaults every day, and you could tell that it really bothered them. Nobody stepped in because it wasn't like they were getting their ass kicked or something. I'm just glad that social media didn't exist when I was in school, because I'm not sure how those kids would have coped if they had to deal with that crap even when they weren't at school.
That is usually what I witnessed. Sadly, the verbal bullying was mostly over physical characteristics. Pre-teen/teen years are some of the most awkward so it can really hit hard. Occasionally the bullying would be social status (band geek, book worm, nerd, etc.). I never saw bullying over financial status but I'm sure it exists in some areas.
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I didn't witness any physical bullying, but there were some kids who faced verbal assaults every day, and you could tell that it really bothered them. Nobody stepped in because it wasn't like they were getting their ass kicked or something. I'm just glad that social media didn't exist when I was in school, because I'm not sure how those kids would have coped if they had to deal with that crap even when they weren't at school.
Honestly, social media worries me as a parent more than most other things when it comes to what my kids will have to deal with in the near future.
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I didn't witness any physical bullying, but there were some kids who faced verbal assaults every day, and you could tell that it really bothered them. Nobody stepped in because it wasn't like they were getting their ass kicked or something. I'm just glad that social media didn't exist when I was in school, because I'm not sure how those kids would have coped if they had to deal with that crap even when they weren't at school.
Honestly, social media worries me as a parent more than most other things when it comes to what my kids will have to deal with in the near future.
Me too.
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i was definitely a bully at one point in my life. it was very uncool of me and im not proud of it.
i should clarify that i was an emotional bully not a physical one. but whats worse? idk. theyre both dick things to do.
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I didn't witness any physical bullying, but there were some kids who faced verbal assaults every day, and you could tell that it really bothered them. Nobody stepped in because it wasn't like they were getting their ass kicked or something. I'm just glad that social media didn't exist when I was in school, because I'm not sure how those kids would have coped if they had to deal with that crap even when they weren't at school.
Honestly, social media worries me as a parent more than most other things when it comes to what my kids will have to deal with in the near future.
Me too.
Yes and it is so sad.
The social media aspect is very troubling because not only does what's said sticks and is around for all to see, but so often people wouldn't think to say that to someone's face. I mean culture has gotten much more rude/crude/mean; but I think there is some portion of civility that prevents someone from saying awful things in the lunch room vs. "faceless" facebook.
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i was definitely a bully at one point in my life. it was very uncool of me and im not proud of it.
i should clarify that i was an emotional bully not a physical one. but whats worse? idk. theyre both dick things to do.
i think emotional ones are far worse
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i never saw too much of it, and i was always annoyed by high school movies where bullying was like constant, particularly between jocks and nerds or whatever.
ya.
went to a semi-large school and nothing was ever happening, not with the guys at least. the emotional terrorism that like every girl goes though is pretty astonishing tho.
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I'd be curious to see what poster Billy Zabka has to say about this.
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i was definitely a bully at one point in my life. it was very uncool of me and im not proud of it.
i should clarify that i was an emotional bully not a physical one. but whats worse? idk. theyre both dick things to do.
i think emotional ones are far worse
i know :frown: im a nice person now tho. middle school TTHOTUC was a rough ridin' prick.
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I didn't witness any physical bullying, but there were some kids who faced verbal assaults every day, and you could tell that it really bothered them. Nobody stepped in because it wasn't like they were getting their ass kicked or something. I'm just glad that social media didn't exist when I was in school, because I'm not sure how those kids would have coped if they had to deal with that crap even when they weren't at school.
Honestly, social media worries me as a parent more than most other things when it comes to what my kids will have to deal with in the near future.
Me too.
Yes and it is so sad.
The social media aspect is very troubling because not only does what's said sticks and is around for all to see, but so often people wouldn't think to say that to someone's face. I mean culture has gotten much more rude/crude/mean; but I think there is some portion of civility that prevents someone from saying awful things in the lunch room vs. "faceless" facebook.
This is the thing that scares me most about being a parent. I'm not really sure how I'm going to handle the social media thing, let alone if my kid is being bullied or is a bully :sdeek:
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True story, I witnessed Stevesie bully a girl till she cried last night at Station.
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I was "likes to scrap kid" in primary school and dished out some justice on a few recesses. I guess there were some kids I picked on in junior high too. I would not call myself a bully tho, 'cause it was not targeted or consistent But in high school I was very accepting and was everyone's friend so I redeemed myself. It is a beautiful story of redemption, really.
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We can still PI, right?
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I know a 7 year old kid whose parents changed schools because of bullying and I think they were being huge crybabies.
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We can still PI, right?
Oh yes. That is not bullying. That is quality control.
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I don't really know where structured initiation/hazing stops and bullying begins so it is hard to say how much I participated in or witnessed.
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I don't really know where structured initiation/hazing stops and bullying begins so it is hard to say how much I participated in or witnessed.
in sports we didn't even haze the freshmen or anything. it was just like "hey, how's it going? practice is only hard the first week and then is super pud so tough it out. this weekend we're all getting white girl wasted on keystone light out at the bridge so if you need a ride let me know and I'll pick you up."
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I don't know when you cross the line between picking on someone and bullying, but I know I was picked on. I also know that I picked on other kids from time to time. I always figured it was pretty much the same for everyone. I used to side with the "pussification of America" crowd on this until I learned a little more about internet-based bullying.
Aside from PIing and being PIed, which is pretty light hearted I've never experienced it on either side, but I tend to think that it is a lot more severe and can easily be far more emotionally-damaging to kids.
It is hard to apply taking a stand when you are a kid and 20-30 people on the internet are constantly calling you fat, homo, etc. on the internet with no remorse. The remorse factor is a big part of it. I know if I picked on someone when I was younger and I started to see them become emotionally hurt, it would trigger sympathetic and empathetic feelings in me, which usually ended in an apology and being friendly later. With the internet that doesn't occur.
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We can still PI, right?
:thumbsup:
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I don't really know where structured initiation/hazing stops and bullying begins so it is hard to say how much I participated in or witnessed.
in sports we didn't even haze the freshmen or anything. it was just like "hey, how's it going? practice is only hard the first week and then is super pud so tough it out. this weekend we're all getting white girl wasted on keystone light out at the bridge so if you need a ride let me know and I'll pick you up."
As a freshman I was taking a deuce after practice one time. We had those open stalls with no doors only divider walls. As I was sitting there a senior and one of the biggest dudes on the team came up and threw a cup of warm water on me. He told me it was piss and acted like he was pissing in it as he came around the corner from the shower.
We're pretty decent buds now. Sometimes I wonder if it was really piss or not.
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Locker rooms were the place where the worst ones I heard happened.
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Is shitting in an open shower soon to be used by others bullying? What about walking into the same shower the next week full of people with a raging hard on? I think I and others may have been bullied.
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Is shitting in an open shower soon to be used by others bullying? What about walking into the same shower the next week full of people with a raging hard on? I think I and others may have been bullied.
wut
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Kinda wish I would've developed the ability to get along with a lot of people plus a sense of humor to dish back any insults BEFORE college. That would've been great.
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I know a 7 year old kid whose parents changed schools because of bullying and I think they were being huge crybabies.
Need details to figure out if you're a prick.
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If you ever find yourself in a group of people and you can't pick out the bully...Well guess what? You're it, buddy.
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I know a 7 year old kid whose parents changed schools because of bullying and I think they were being huge crybabies.
Need details to figure out if you're a prick.
We interacted quite a bit with both the bully's family and the family being bullied. The "bully" was a little crap to be sure, but people have to deal with little shits their entire lives. And fwiw my wife agrees with my assessment.
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In high school football the first thing we did when we went out to the practice field was take a lap around the field. During that lap, the seniors would always jog towards the end of the entire group and run up behind the freshman and knock them down. Nobody ever got hurt...I always thought of it as more of a silly hazing type of thing.
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I was both a bullier and a bullyee at times in my childhood. Side fairly strongly with the pussyfication of America crowd in most cases
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I willingly let all the football players cheat off my test if possible. Not sure if that counts.
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In high school football the first thing we did when we went out to the practice field was take a lap around the field. During that lap, the seniors would always jog towards the end of the entire group and run up behind the freshman and knock them down. Nobody ever got hurt...I always thought of it as more of a silly hazing type of thing.
At my school, the Thursday practice before the first game was sophomore wedgie day. The coaches came out late on purpose that day so that there would be time to give all of the sophomores wedgies until their underwear ripped. No one thought much of it.
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In high school football the first thing we did when we went out to the practice field was take a lap around the field. During that lap, the seniors would always jog towards the end of the entire group and run up behind the freshman and knock them down. Nobody ever got hurt...I always thought of it as more of a silly hazing type of thing.
At my school, the Thursday practice before the first game was sophomore wedgie day. The coaches came out late on purpose that day so that there would be time to give all of the sophomores wedgies until their underwear ripped. No one thought much of it.
I can't imagine not beating someone's ass for trying to do this to me.
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The grade school that I went to was full of hard core bullying. Factory worker, white greater-topeka school district.
There are two kids that were in my grade that are almost certainly mumped for life. I came to the school from a private school later, so I wasn't around to see how it started in the early years...only how it was happening in late grade school.
I can remember one afternoon where they took one of those tug of war ropes and tied it around the kid and drug him across the entire play ground, as the kids screamed in pain...getting the skin pealed off of him. Just merciless in the way that the pounded on those kids every rough ridin' day. I can only imagine the hell on earth it had to be to be those kids. You wake up and and you know you are going to have another worst-day-of-your-life.
I was scared too. I didn't have the courage at the time to really stand up and say that it was bullshit. I really regret not trying to do something more to stop it. I got bullied a bit later in grade school by the same crew when I dared to stand up to them in a small way, but I was lucky....junior high came and I just fell in with a better crowd and left them behind. I got enough of a taste of it to know how hellish it could be if that was a regular occurrence.
That mentality was everywhere at my particular high school at the time. As I got older I spent a lot of time with people from other high schools around town. A small part of the reason that I chose KSU was because so many of those mouth breathers were going to KU, though most of them didn't go to college, or went to places like Washburn or Emporia State. I'm told it's better today and that the district has really changed.
Unless you have seen real bullying, or have been a part of it...you are incapable of understanding how crippling and terrible it is, to kids in particular.
Nothing worse in the world than a bully to kids, except maybe people who let bullying of kids happen.
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In high school football the first thing we did when we went out to the practice field was take a lap around the field. During that lap, the seniors would always jog towards the end of the entire group and run up behind the freshman and knock them down. Nobody ever got hurt...I always thought of it as more of a silly hazing type of thing.
Hazing is not bullying. Bullying is targeted to an individual because of who they are as a person...not because they fit a class. If you fit the "class," it still sucks, but it's not as bad as being isolated and destroyed alone.
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In high school football the first thing we did when we went out to the practice field was take a lap around the field. During that lap, the seniors would always jog towards the end of the entire group and run up behind the freshman and knock them down. Nobody ever got hurt...I always thought of it as more of a silly hazing type of thing.
At my school, the Thursday practice before the first game was sophomore wedgie day. The coaches came out late on purpose that day so that there would be time to give all of the sophomores wedgies until their underwear ripped. No one thought much of it.
I can't imagine not beating someone's ass for trying to do this to me.
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You may have been a giant, but that probably wouldn't have gone well for you
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The grade school that I went to was full of hard core bullying. Factory worker, white greater-topeka school district.
There are two kids that were in my grade that are almost certainly mumped for life. I came to the school from a private school later, so I wasn't around to see how it started in the early years...only how it was happening in late grade school.
I can remember one afternoon where they took one of those tug of war ropes and tied it around the kid and drug him across the entire play ground, as the kids screamed in pain...getting the skin pealed off of him. Just merciless in the way that the pounded on those kids every rough ridin' day. I can only imagine the hell on earth it had to be to be those kids. You wake up and and you know you are going to have another worst-day-of-your-life.
I was scared too. I didn't have the courage at the time to really stand up and say that it was bullshit. I really regret not trying to do something more to stop it. I got bullied a bit later in grade school by the same crew when I dared to stand up to them in a small way, but I was lucky....junior high came and I just fell in with a better crowd and left them behind. I got enough of a taste of it to know how hellish it could be if that was a regular occurrence.
That mentality was everywhere at my particular high school at the time. As I got older I spent a lot of time with people from other high schools around town. A small part of the reason that I chose KSU was because so many of those mouth breathers were going to KU, though most of them didn't go to college, or went to places like Washburn or Emporia State. I'm told it's better today and that the district has really changed.
Unless you have seen real bullying, or have been a part of it...you are incapable of understanding how crippling and terrible it is, to kids in particular.
Nothing worse in the world than a bully to kids, except maybe people who let bullying of kids happen.
The teachers in those elementary situations you described were as bad as the bully for not monitoring something obvs.
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i was definitely a bully at one point in my life. it was very uncool of me and im not proud of it.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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I used to have this really fat Mexican kid "bully" me in 8th grade and parts of 9th grade.
He was 3yrs older and dating a girl from my class who apparently "liked me" but she was fat and losery and I had zero interest or any type of relationship with her, but he HATED me for it.
He would follow me to school (walking), telling me he was going to kick my ass and all that, a few times he tried to trip me or mess up my hair, I think he may have pushed me once or twice. This kid was gigantic, and I knew he could beat my ass so I just kind of laughed it off or whatever pussy nonsense I tried to pull. Anyway, so 9th grade rolls around and he's getting more and more aggressive. One day we're in the lunchroom and as I walk by he pushes me, I'm not sure what finally snapped but I grabbed his tray of freshly hot nachos (with the liquid cheese) and mashed it right in his face.
We both got separated and drug into the principals office, but the entire lunchroom was all "eff yeah" and laughing at him just like in the movies, it was incredible. Then we get in the office and he's whining because I ruined his shirt, and then I made fun of him because it was one of those stupid t-shirts that just had a random fish on it. I laughed at him and called him poor, but yeah, he never retaliated against me or gave me anymore crap. It was just like the movies.
Another instance
We used to always have neighborhood football games and most of the guys were 3/4yrs older than me and my 3 friends and they'd always destroy us. One kid in particular who after that summer went onto play WR at WMU was extra brutal. So anyway, we're playing and I catch a pass over the middle and instead of just tackling me he picks me up off the ground spins me and throws/drops me on my head.
This is like the 100th time he'd done some crap like this to one of us and I'm embarrassed and pissed, so I get up and drill him in the nose with the ball. His eyes watered up and he knelt over clutching his nose, and for that brief moment I felt like a badass. Then he got up and knocked me out with a devastating combo. :lol:
That one did not turn out like the movies.
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In high school football the first thing we did when we went out to the practice field was take a lap around the field. During that lap, the seniors would always jog towards the end of the entire group and run up behind the freshman and knock them down. Nobody ever got hurt...I always thought of it as more of a silly hazing type of thing.
Hazing is not bullying. Bullying is targeted to an individual because of who they are as a person...not because they fit a class. If you fit the "class," it still sucks, but it's not as bad as being isolated and destroyed alone.
I agree with this to an extent. There are plenty of examples out there of hazing being taken to far. Generally speaking though, hazing is a right of practice where you make a conscious decision to allow yourself to be hazed because you believe the end result is worth it. It's different then bullying because you have the choice to walk away and it stops. Usually with no long term damage. I mean I used to haze the crap out of catzacker and he turned out alright.
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In high school football the first thing we did when we went out to the practice field was take a lap around the field. During that lap, the seniors would always jog towards the end of the entire group and run up behind the freshman and knock them down. Nobody ever got hurt...I always thought of it as more of a silly hazing type of thing.
Hazing is not bullying. Bullying is targeted to an individual because of who they are as a person...not because they fit a class. If you fit the "class," it still sucks, but it's not as bad as being isolated and destroyed alone.
I agree with this to an extent. There are plenty of examples out there of hazing being taken to far. Generally speaking though, hazing is a right of practice where you make a conscious decision to allow yourself to be hazed because you believe the end result is worth it. It's different then bullying because you have the choice to walk away and it stops. Usually with no long term damage. I mean I used to haze the crap out of catzacker and he turned out alright.
found another fanning sock. :Woohoo:
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I went to grade school in a very small community and everyone was nice to each other. A long chain of events landed me smack dab in the middle of Haysville Junior High. That place was a rough ridin' jungle. I carved out a niche but everyday was a struggle. Got bullied mostly about being fat (I have big bones I can't help it plus I was a late bloomer). Thankfully my family moved back to my home town by high school and all was well again. I made sure if I saw someone being bullied that I did something about it.
There was a kid in my home town that got shot a year after I graduated. The victim and a group of his friends were bullying this kid and crap got out of control. Very sad story. :frown:
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In high school football the first thing we did when we went out to the practice field was take a lap around the field. During that lap, the seniors would always jog towards the end of the entire group and run up behind the freshman and knock them down. Nobody ever got hurt...I always thought of it as more of a silly hazing type of thing.
Hazing is not bullying. Bullying is targeted to an individual because of who they are as a person...not because they fit a class. If you fit the "class," it still sucks, but it's not as bad as being isolated and destroyed alone.
I agree with this to an extent. There are plenty of examples out there of hazing being taken to far. Generally speaking though, hazing is a right of practice where you make a conscious decision to allow yourself to be hazed because you believe the end result is worth it. It's different then bullying because you have the choice to walk away and it stops. Usually with no long term damage. I mean I used to haze the crap out of catzacker and he turned out alright.
found another fanning sock. :Woohoo:
Why don't you go make a grilled cheese and salt sandwich.
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:lol:
:drool:
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Most of the bullying I ever observed occurred in high school locker rooms. As an upperclassmen I was able to put a stop to some of it, but there's a lot of stuff I wish I could have prevented. High School and Junior High kids should not be left unsupervised.
The worst seemed to occur on wrestling trips were four to six kids would be locked in hotel rooms all night without supervision. I went to high school in the same district as Pete and Seven, but graduated much later than either of them. My view of the district is much closer to Pete's than Seven's.
I ended up in that district after I left the Washburn Rural district. I left due to repeated altercations with a major douchebag in grade school. I'm not sure if that situation really qualified as bullying or not, but the most popular kid in the school and his gang of jackasses and I didn't get along.
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internet bullying is the worst. people can just post whatever they want and sometimes they can remain anonymous.
my little brother posted a picture on facebook a few months ago and a kid called him a fat man of taste and distinction. a week later my brother beat the living piss out of the kid at school because the kid said "hey did you see my comment man of taste and distinction?" when he walked by in the hallway. my mom showed the comment to the principal and my brother got suspended for 3 days and the other kid 2 weeks.
appropriately handled? no. but i guarantee that kid will think twice before cyber bullying again.
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http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/11/06/high-school-football-players-charged-with-battery-after-alleged-hazing/
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Internet bullying isn't any worse than regular bullying imo. Easier to do but also easier to avoid.
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internet bullying is the worst. people can just post whatever they want and sometimes they can remain anonymous.
my little brother posted a picture on facebook a few months ago and a kid called him a fat man of taste and distinction. a week later my brother beat the living piss out of the kid at school because the kid said "hey did you see my comment man of taste and distinction?" when he walked by in the hallway. my mom showed the comment to the principal and my brother got suspended for 3 days and the other kid 2 weeks.
appropriately handled? no. but i guarantee that kid will think twice before cyber bullying again.
you don't know what cyber bullying is.
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my freshman year after football practice a kid may or may not have gotten an erection in the shower. needless to say he was PI'd beyond belief, so much so that if i met someone from another school and i told them where i went, that person would be all "omg didn't that one kid get a boner in the shower there?". the kid transferred after freshman year. i wonder what he's up to now. :frown:
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Internet bullying isn't any worse than regular bullying imo. Easier to do but also easier to avoid.
Is it?
Picture a 12 year old kid, who perhaps isn't even allowed to participate on internet sites frequented by others, who is knows that there is frequent disparaging materials posted about them and they can't do anything to prevent it. Everyone's laughing at them, and rumor mongering. They feel completely powerless, alone and worthless. Every part of their life is impacted by it. In their mind, there is no escape from it.
It happens all the time.
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Bullies bleed too. Kids and adults need to realize this fact.
Everybody has a limit to what they can take from people. Most times just telling on who's bothering you, won't put an end to what's happening. Sometimes you have to get violent. Sometimes you have to just go to jail.
Did Tina ask Ike nicely to stop hitting her, or did she clock that nigga upside the dome with a stiletto? I'll wait...
Did Nat Turner ask his owners nicely to free him, or did some m'f'ers have to die? Yes, they caught and killed him, but still...
Arnold finally had to fight The Gooch. Didn't he?
I could go in forever.
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Internet bullying isn't any worse than regular bullying imo. Easier to do but also easier to avoid.
Is it?
Picture a 12 year old kid, who perhaps isn't even allowed to participate on internet sites frequented by others, who is knows that there is frequent disparaging materials posted about them and they can't do anything to prevent it. Everyone's laughing at them, and rumor mongering. They feel completely powerless, alone and worthless. Every part of their life is impacted by it. In their mind, there is no escape from it.
It happens all the time.
Yes, that is easier to avoid and ignore than someone you see every day face to face at school.
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Internet bullying isn't any worse than regular bullying imo. Easier to do but also easier to avoid.
Is it?
Picture a 12 year old kid 30 yr old UMKC grad, who perhaps isn't even allowed to participate on internet sites frequented by others, who is knows that there is frequent disparaging materials posted about them and they can't do anything to prevent it. Everyone's laughing at them, and rumor mongering. They feel completely powerless, alone and worthless. Every part of their life is impacted by it. In their mind, there is no escape from it.
It happens all the time.
:Crybaby: Sorry Beems
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internet bullying is the worst. people can just post whatever they want and sometimes they can remain anonymous.
my little brother posted a picture on facebook a few months ago and a kid called him a fat man of taste and distinction. a week later my brother beat the living piss out of the kid at school because the kid said "hey did you see my comment man of taste and distinction?" when he walked by in the hallway. my mom showed the comment to the principal and my brother got suspended for 3 days and the other kid 2 weeks.
appropriately handled? no. but i guarantee that kid will think twice before cyber bullying again.
you don't know what cyber bullying is.
Cyberbullying is the use of the Internet and related technologies to harm or harass other people, in a deliberate, repeated, and hostile manner
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberbullying (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberbullying)
yeah, i seem pretty confused. wiki dont lie, brah, wiki dont lie.
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Internet bullying isn't any worse than regular bullying imo. Easier to do but also easier to avoid.
Is it?
Picture a 12 year old kid, who perhaps isn't even allowed to participate on internet sites frequented by others, who is knows that there is frequent disparaging materials posted about them and they can't do anything to prevent it. Everyone's laughing at them, and rumor mongering. They feel completely powerless, alone and worthless. Every part of their life is impacted by it. In their mind, there is no escape from it.
It happens all the time.
Yes, that is easier to avoid and ignore than someone you see every day face to face at school.
My point is that frequently the participants or people who consume the disparaging material are still are the people that you see every day face to face at school, but the bullying is happening online....school officials/teachers can't see it and it easily goes unchecked.
I mean, we are splitting hairs here I guess. Bullying is bullying. If the victim feels powerless, alone, and worthless, it's bullying.
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Bullies bleed too. Kids and adults need to realize this fact.
Everybody has a limit to what they can take from people. Most times just telling on who's bothering you, won't put an end to what's happening. Sometimes you have to get violent. Sometimes you have to just go to jail.
Did Tina ask Ike nicely to stop hitting her, or did she clock that nigga upside the dome with a stiletto? I'll wait...
Did Nat Turner ask his owners nicely to free him, or did some m'f'ers have to die? Yes, they caught and killed him, but still...
Arnold finally had to fight The Gooch. Didn't he?
I could go in forever.
:thumbs: Also.... Hosie!!!!
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Bullies bleed too. Kids and adults need to realize this fact.
Everybody has a limit to what they can take from people. Most times just telling on who's bothering you, won't put an end to what's happening. Sometimes you have to get violent. Sometimes you have to just go to jail.
Did Tina ask Ike nicely to stop hitting her, or did she clock that nigga upside the dome with a stiletto? I'll wait...
Did Nat Turner ask his owners nicely to free him, or did some m'f'ers have to die? Yes, they caught and killed him, but still...
Arnold finally had to fight The Gooch. Didn't he?
I could go in forever.
Welcome Hosie!
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Oh crap, Hosie is here!
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middle school was the worst
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Canadian friend had his balls sprayed with that stickum crap that you spray on your ankles prior to getting them taped. I don't think it was bullying. I think the guy that got punched for doing it wasn't trying to bully my Canadian friend, he just thought he was being funny.
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Internet bullying isn't any worse than regular bullying imo. Easier to do but also easier to avoid.
(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fneurobonkers.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F04%2FTyping-troll.gif&hash=a9211887b6617d6da5f07187ee940a190d3a2d66)
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i think we can justify PI'ing because if beems or fanning don't want to take it, they can stop logging in. Not sure that's the correct way of thinking, but BSAC has yet to bring down an anti-PI'ing agenda so that's his fault.
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Hosie!!! :Woohoo:
Can we get a #tipsforhosie update?
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I was born in MHK but from K-middle of HS I wasn't living close to MHK at all. I was bullied a lot when I was younger even tho I was always taller and bigger than the other kids I was just shy. The school district I was in I saw bullying all the time and there were literally defined cliques like you see in the movies, cool kids, nerds, goths, wanna-bes, all of them.
I had 2 kids in my class commit suicide because of bullying. The first one was in 7th grade, shot himself with his dads pistol, and the other my freshman year, his own shotgun. Needless to say when I moved away during the middle of HS I told about 4-5 people I was leaving because I literally didn't care about the other people because of everything.
The school I moved to and graduated from is very close to MHK and was the exact opposite, in my class anyway. Everyone in my class got along great and I didn't have any issues there. I wish I would have been 6'4" 250 solid like I am now back then.
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Cyberbullying is worse than face to face because it magnifies the effect. Bullying is about violence/threat of pain, but it is more about humiliation. Being bullied in the hallway in front of the 50 ppl in that hallway would suck, but when most of the school is networked to each other through Facebook, it's a different level. I would also think that if someone is cyberbullying(at least with regards to school kids) it is probably usually paired with the face to face bullying too. Just provides an additional avenue to bully through with the ability to reach a wide audience.
I would imagine that being bullied leaves a person wishing that it didn't happen but also that others didn't know. The internet makes it hard for the latter to be possible.
The good news is that the internet also makes it possible for the powers that be(parents, school admin, etc) have a greater oppy to see that it is happening and to do something about it.
That said, I feel like the absolute best thing you could do to a bully is punch their face in and kick them until someone drags you off of them. Worth a couple days off I would think.
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We should put The Big Train in a gE superhero costume and go school to school eradicating bullying.
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MHS was exactly like every teen movie. And that was fantastic.
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man, I grew up in joco and was bullied bad from about 7-10th grade. I was super skinny and kind of had a stutter. nothing violent ever happened, but I definitely hated going to school and the teachers really didn't care.
I particularly remember one time in 8th grade there was a rumor spread around that I crapped my pants at school :confused: and everyone was talking about it. I went to the counselor and told her about it and she asked "well, did you?" :dubious:
needless to say I was glad when I came back to highschool junior year after I had hit puberty. I was never a popular guy but at least I was able to keep my head down and be left alone.
oddly enough my Fiance came home the other day and told me a guy I went to hs with started working in her office, she told me his name and he was one of the worst offenders. she asked him if he knew me and he told her I was really cool in hs. maybe he just feels bad or forgot about all the terrible crap he said/did.
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I don't think physical stature really matters all that much in who gets bullied, at least from what I have witnessed.
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I don't think physical stature really matters all that much in who gets bullied, at least from what I have witnessed.
Really? I've never seen an athlete get bullied.
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some jerks in my hs created a fake internet girl persona and made one of the kids who didn't have very many friends believe that she was interested in him so they could laugh and laugh and laugh about the prospect of this loser thinking that a real life girl was actually interested in him.
can't imagine how humiliated that kid was when he found out that he (and his romantic life) was a huge joke played on him by people that didn't take him seriously. i hated those assholes and told them so at the time.
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MHS was exactly like every teen movie. And that was fantastic.
Yes, I always heard that new arrivals thought MHS was "extremely cliquey."
(One time, when gym class was letting out, the QB turned and punched the kid everyone always picked on right in the damn face. For no damn reason. I was walking next to them. Nobody did anything. I feel bad about that.)
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some jerks in my hs created a fake internet girl persona and made one of the kids who didn't have very many friends believe that she was interested in him so they could laugh and laugh and laugh about the prospect of this loser thinking that a real life girl was actually interested in him.
can't imagine how humiliated that kid was when he found out that he (and his romantic life) was a huge joke played on him by people that didn't take him seriously. i hated those assholes and told them so at the time.
thou shalt not internet bully...
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I can't remember who talked about pooping and boners in the shower earlier and I don't want to look back to find out. I did know some guys that went to Washburn Rural HS and they told me stories about pooping and whacking it in the showers. Also, they talked about poop fights. Are all of these real things? I always thought the guys from Washburn Rural were just exaggerating. I would guess that those guys were bullies if those stories are true.
<Sorry to any of you that are Washburn Rural graduates for this shocking internet report.>
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Beems was the only one throwing poop. Everyone else thought it was gross.
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I was bullied a little bit in junior high, not bad though. Some of it I probably brought on myself since I was kind of a mouthy bastard but the rest of it was just plain, good old fashioned, what-did-I-do-to-deserve-this bullying. The town I lived in had several grade schools so when 7th grade rolled around and all of us kids were pooled together for the first time it seemed like a couple of guys from the other schools decided they had to demonstrate how much of a bad ass or stud they were by picking on me and a handful of other guys. Some of those poor kids got it waaaaay worse.
By the time we were all in high school they had become tired of it or whatever and were usually being nice to me since I'm obviously a cool guy. Maybe they felt bad about it, who knows. I wouldn't say we all became friends of course but they came to be people I could tolerate while hanging out on a Friday and crushing some beers after a football game or whatever. I noticed that the guy who was the worst offender eventually became a fat loser and has already lost most of his hair. So, karma [redacted].
Junior high has to be the worst for this kind of stuff. Guys are bad but I shudder to think the kind of torture a group of junior high girls could put another girl through.
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internet bullying is the worst. people can just post whatever they want and sometimes they can remain anonymous.
my little brother posted a picture on facebook a few months ago and a kid called him a fat man of taste and distinction. a week later my brother beat the living piss out of the kid at school because the kid said "hey did you see my comment man of taste and distinction?" when he walked by in the hallway. my mom showed the comment to the principal and my brother got suspended for 3 days and the other kid 2 weeks.
appropriately handled? no. but i guarantee that kid will think twice before cyber bullying again.
you don't know what cyber bullying is.
Cyberbullying is the use of the Internet and related technologies to harm or harass other people, in a deliberate, repeated, and hostile manner
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberbullying (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberbullying)
yeah, i seem pretty confused. wiki dont lie, brah, wiki dont lie.
you are, what you posted was not bullying.
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if you understand what's actually happening, this cire/TTHOTCUC misunderstanding...
:lol:
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:lol:
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some jerks in my hs created a fake internet girl persona and made one of the kids who didn't have very many friends believe that she was interested in him so they could laugh and laugh and laugh about the prospect of this loser thinking that a real life girl was actually interested in him.
can't imagine how humiliated that kid was when he found out that he (and his romantic life) was a huge joke played on him by people that didn't take him seriously. i hated those assholes and told them so at the time.
sounds like 1/3 of the storyline to the movie Disconnect [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disconnect_(2012_film) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disconnect_(2012_film))]. highly recommend.
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I can't remember who talked about pooping and boners in the shower earlier and I don't want to look back to find out. I did know some guys that went to Washburn Rural HS and they told me stories about pooping and whacking it in the showers. Also, they talked about poop fights. Are all of these real things? I always thought the guys from Washburn Rural were just exaggerating. I would guess that those guys were bullies if those stories are true.
<Sorry to any of you that are Washburn Rural graduates for this shocking internet report.>
It was me. Happened in Salina though so I'm sure that surprisises exactly no one. the more I think about it, it really was more of a prank than bullying because it was just one time and not really targeted at an individual.
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Yeah. I got bullied. I was really nice, trusting and naive. Bad combo. Moved from the country into a small KS town in 7th grade, quickly was correctly diagnosed as too nice for my own damn good, and was promptly targeted day after day.
There are many memories that will never go away. One of the best was this - a few of the cool kids knew I had a crush on a certain girl, one of them who lived like a block from me and pretended to be my pal, told me that he had heard that she liked me back. He told me that she wanted me to call her. Keep in mind, this is pre-cell phone days guys. I had to call her home phone. Her mom could have answered guys. OR HER DAD FOR PETE SAKE! Anyway, so you know what I did? I called her up. Guess what guys - they lied. :frown:
I only had one true friend. We hung out exclusively and ignored the douchebags. So, as you can guess, a gay rumor eventually started making the rounds. Turns out, my ex who had not forgiven me for breaking her heart had started it lol. But people really believed it. Guys on the basketball team were huge assholes. Was awful.
After 5 years of hell, we moved to the nearest small KS town a few miles up the highway the summer prior to my senior year. Senior year was absolutely fantastic.
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eff, I hate bullies.
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Yeah. I got bullied. I was really nice, trusting and naive. Bad combo. Moved from the country into a small KS town in 7th grade, quickly was correctly diagnosed as too nice for my own damn good, and was promptly targeted day after day.
There are many memories that will never go away. One of the best was this - a few of the cool kids knew I had a crush on a certain girl, one of them who lived like a block from me and pretended to be my pal, told me that he had heard that she liked me back. He told me that she wanted me to call her. Keep in mind, this is pre-cell phone days guys. I had to call her home phone. Her mom could have answered guys. OR HER DAD FOR PETE SAKE! Anyway, so you know what I did? I called her up. Guess what guys - they lied. :frown:
I only had one true friend. We hung out exclusively and ignored the douchebags. So, as you can guess, a gay rumor eventually started making the rounds. Turns out, my ex who had not forgiven me for breaking her heart had started it lol. But people really believed it. Guys on the basketball team were huge assholes. Was awful.
After 5 years of hell, we moved to the nearest small KS town a few miles up the highway the summer prior to my senior year. Senior year was absolutely fantastic.
Tell me their names and I'll take care of it.
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never bullied people and never was bullied. never really saw any bullying. i luckily lucked into a pretty fantastic group of friends and it was like why the eff would we want to bully somebody because that would take away from time where we could be having fun w/ each other shooting hoops or slamming mountain dews while illegally shooting off bottle rockets or whatever. just never made sense.
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there is a special spot in hell for those who bully j-dub. I don't even get how it's possible
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I don't think physical stature really matters all that much in who gets bullied, at least from what I have witnessed.
Really? I've never seen an athlete get bullied.
I have. 6'5, 280. Sophomore football player playing up on varsity (largely because of his size and brother being a stud) but he wasn't the typical aggressive physical lineman. People would steal his crap, piss in his locker, all sorts of stuff. It was not hazing, they were merciless to him and loved the other sophomores.
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Yeah. I got bullied. I was really nice, trusting and naive. Bad combo.
Gah. Yeah. Know this feeling too well. Also took things personally which added matches to the flame. Those of you who have met me know I'm basically built like an o-lineman---yeah, I've always been that way. Got a lot of crap for my weight.
Two of the popular girls in middle school pretended to be my friend and one of them danced with me, only to have everyone say I had an erection like 10 minutes later (I didn't). They both stood me up that year too, after they had sung happy birthday to me in the cafeteria in front of everyone, presumably because I didn't have a ton of friends or experience around females and they felt sorry for me. crap was annoying and honestly pretty humiliating for a while, but I eventually got over it after I started getting some dating action in high school.
Same year (8th grade) I tried playing basketball outside after lunch to fit in and lose some weight. Except three dudes had a penchant for taking the ball and trying to throw it right at my face. Lost it one day and punched one of them out then walked away before I could go full hulk, thankfully nobody noticed since I didn't land anything seriously hard and I didn't get in troubs. One of the other dudes later came at me with a flying kick in the hallway, crouching tiger hidden dragon style (I'd talked a LOT of crap at him after that incident and he'd gotten pretty pissed). I just mushed him, then a teacher walked up and broke it up. I just laughed at the dude for thinking he could somehow land a flying kick on my face.
Thankfully everyone kinda mellowed out in high school and people really stopped giving a eff in college.
The advice I'd give to a kid who is getting bullied is instead of being violent back, develop a sense of humor and humiliate the dude in front of his friends. Sure, you might enrage the dude and get your ass kicked in the process, but it's better than just sitting back and taking it. Plus if you get in some really good digs people will start to respect you and girls will like the fact that you can crack a joke. Almost everyone likes the class clown.
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I got bullied a fair amount in elementary school, but almost completely from people not in my own school, thank God. When I played on soccer teams it was the worst. I was overweight by a large margin until the 6th grade. That summer I grew 6 inches and lost 20 pounds thanks to playing football for the first time in my life. I am very thankful that this happened before middle school because I was one of two or three guys who was over 6 feet tall going into 7th grade, so it pretty much stopped. In fact some of the guys from my previous soccer teams who I hadn't seen since 4th grade apologized to me for the comments they had made at the time. I can't imagine being fat in the 7th grade, since being fat is the easiest trait for a bully to target.
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Never was really bullied. I remember getting pulled down by my hood one time walking home in grade school, but that kid later became a good friend. Bullying went on, but it wasn't real common. Very small high school, only 12 in my class and 60 in the entire high school as a senior. You could be a jerk, but really couldn't get away with bullying because there just weren't very many people.
We had the normal freshman hazing, I remember being thrown outside the locker room naked while taking a shower once, but the coach heard it and made the seniors clean the locker room with their towels and there were no later repercussions for me. Just seemed like pretty normal small town sports stuff at the time.
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Korn was great therapy for the bullied i feel like
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I got bullied a fair amount in elementary school, but almost completely from people not in my own school, thank God. When I played on soccer teams it was the worst. I was overweight by a large margin until the 6th grade. That summer I grew 6 inches and lost 20 pounds thanks to playing football for the first time in my life. I am very thankful that this happened before middle school because I was one of two or three guys who was over 6 feet tall going into 7th grade, so it pretty much stopped. In fact some of the guys from my previous soccer teams who I hadn't seen since 4th grade apologized to me for the comments they had made at the time. I can't imagine being fat in the 7th grade, since being fat is the easiest trait for a bully to target.
I was fat in the 7th grade. I was always fat as a kid growing up and it wasn't until high school that I started to lean out through sports. Grade school was fine because i went to the same school with mostly the same group of kids and we were all friends.
The middle school was much larger and I started to get targeted for my weight. 7th and 8th grade were a couple of rough years but luckily I wasn't too sensitive about it. My older brother had been calling me fat my entire life so I was kind of used to it. Still you never forget some of the stuff that people said to you and you never forget who the kids were that said it. When I look back now I realize that generally the kids that targeted me the most ended up having issues down the road. So I've come to accept that they were just kids and they likely had issues going on at home that caused them to act the way they did. If I was ever bitter about anything from that time it is probably the fact that some of my friends just stood by and didn't stick up for me. But again I realize middle school is a rough time for all kids and we were all just young and trying to find our way. I'm probably stronger and more confident because I went through it, but still I never would want my own kid to have to deal with that type of sutff.
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7th grade was rough, I had just moved to Guam and nobody wanted to be friends with the new kid. But being a military brat had it's benefits because everyone that bullied me in 7th grade moved away before 8th grade started. 8th grade was awesome, all the jerky kids that moved away were replaced by cool new kids.
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Kids were dicks to other kids off and on, but no sustained bullying that I saw or participated in. I never found myself in a position to be bullied growing up. The girls were really bad though. Our high school had a lot of problems with them. Definite life ruining bullying going on there. Like when the guys were doing it, it was juvenile and sporadic. Sort of spur of the moment cruel fun. The girls were like targeted hatred campaigns against other girls, usually younger and prettier than them. It was rarely within the same class, but it kept repeating itself. Yikes.
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Korn was great therapy for the bullied i feel like
"Clown" is the bullied's anthem.
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I think I had it pretty easy. In high school I was a band kid, and the band was like 285 people, so it wasn't some stigma like I'm sure it is a lot of places. Sure, there were dickhead jocks who made fun of us, but it was never really directed at me that much. I did get pushed down in the hallway my freshman year by this muscle head because we lost a volleyball game in gym, and he thought it was my fault, and I laughed and said I didn't care.
Ok. Confession time. I participated in bullying a kid in 7th grade. :frown: I moved across town that year and changed schools halfway in 7th grade. I didn't know one kid. Not one. About 2 months after I moved over there, in gym class, some cool guys were making fun of this really scrawny little red headed guy. He was like the ultimate pip squeak dork. Well, I wanted to be cool so I joined in and made fun of him too. In the locker room after class he was changing clothes and some guys pushed him up against the wall, and he cut his back on an outlet and bled on his gym shirt. Everyone laughed and I did too. The kid started crying and went home early. I think the principle came a scolded our gym class the next day but no one really got in trouble. i was like, cheering those guys on because I wanted to be cool. Here's the thing, the cool kids who were ring leading this never accepted me into their group, and I didn't really make any friends at that school until 8th and 9th grade. I'm glad I didn't get in with those guys, because they were dick heads.
As for the kid we picked on, he transferred out of school in 9th grade when his family moved. I remember after that incident I felt really crappy because I knew better. I made plenty of cutting jokes and stuff after that but never really bullied anyone.
Anyway, something to remember for those who were bullied: There's a good chance a bunch of the guys going along with bullies were just insecure losers desperate to be liked who were basically just happy that they weren't the one getting picked on. That was me at least. Pretty sorry I behaved that way.
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bullying is primal in nature and something that humans will likely never fully rid ourselves of without thousands of more years of evolution. at it's core, I suspect it can be traced back to the alpha male of the pack attempting to cull the herd of all weak links for the survival of the rest of the pack. of course, it's utterly meaningless in the modern world, but so are a lot of our primal instincts. our culture and surroundings have evolved much quicker than our brains or bodies.
I grew up in a small town as well. 35 people in my class, roughly 125 in my high school and about 2,500 in my town. there was an alpha male in our town that was my age. we grew up together from kindergarten all the way through high school. for the most part, outside of a few guys that were at least 3 or 4 years older than him, he ran the school. he wasn't the biggest or strongest kid in the school, not by a long shot. in fact, I'm just under 6 feet and about 175 lbs and he was shorter than me, but he was stocky. all the girls wanted to be with him and all the guys wanted to be like him...and he knew it. he carried around this air of superiority and confidence with him that was impossible to ignore. he controlled who was in the cool kid's clique at any given time and would literally use people like chess pieces for his own entertainment. one week he would be your best friend and the next week he was using someone else to bully and intimidate you...or doing it himself. looking back on it, it's fascinating how he managed to control the feelings and actions of so many people. from kindergarten through my senior year, we alternated between what I considered at the time to be "best friends" that would do everything together, to him intimidating me, threatening me, and generally leaving me with no friends at any given time. I would say about 80% of the time we were "friends." we'd go on trips together, hunt together, party together...everything. the other 20% was pure hell. if you were ousted from the group...for whatever stupid rough ridin' reason he decided...you found yourself on the outside looking in. he, and everyone else in his "club" at the time, would torment you, threaten you, ridicule you, and just generally make your life hell. it was a pretty hopeless feeling. the town was small so there weren't many other options for friends. that was the group all the cool kids wanted to be a part of. basically the only other options were the "nerds" or the "druggies."
I wasn't immune from either being his pawn and tormenting (bullying?) other kids that weren't in the clique (at least at the moment), but I also certainly wasn't immune from being tormented (bullied?) myself. I'm very jealous when I hear people talk about how much they liked high school, because I hated it. sure, I have some great memories, but most of them involve him in some way and it's hard to look back and remember those times fondly when you step away from the situation and have time to reflect on how much of a crap human being he was (is?).
I'm not sure that's bullying, but it sure felt like it. now that I'm a father of a 5 year old son, I've seen flashes of both in him, and it's equally terrifying to me. I've seen him do things that resemble "bullying" to other kids and I've watched him be the victim of what feels like "bullying." I have to constantly remind myself that it's all part of establishing a hierarchy and pecking order among young kids, and you just have to let most of it play out and hope you've raised them right. you can't fight instincts that have evolved over thousands of years. bullying becomes a problem when it goes from establishing a hierarchy, to a prolonged predator and prey scenario.
sorry...that got really long. :frown:
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I was lucky to never be bullied too significantly as a kid - I was subject to a few pranks as most kids are, but my reaction was mostly just "WTF :dunno:" and that evidently was not the reaction the bullies wanted. Bullies are trying to get a reaction to fill some deep-seated emotional craving, probably because of their parents or lack thereof. It's pretty mumped up.
Some bad person kid threw a rock at me once but my older brother took care of that. One benefit of having an older brother.
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Rams,
I'm with ya on the kid thing bud. I have equal parts that don't want my kids to be bullied, or to be bullies. However, some of this is inevitable. Just on what degree I guess.
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Rams, what has become of the smalltown alpha male?
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Rams, what has become of the smalltown alpha male?
exactly what you would expect. still living in the same small town.
I remember having a conversation with my dad at one point when I was younger. my dad and this kids dad were only a couple years apart in that same small town. my dad said his dad was the exact same way when they were in school.
I haven't talked to him years, but apparently he's got a kid that's 4 or 5 years old and I've heard that he's already raising him the same way. apparently he was letting him just run around with a lit roman candle in his hand in a crowd of people last 4th of july. I suspect the cycle will just continue. :dunno:
I've seen some pictures and he's turned into a fatass, so that's funny.
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My school was weird. lots of little groups with some that traversed many groups rather than being soley part of one. That's what I did. There was bullying here and there, but not huge amts.
The girls in my school, however, were rough ridin' horrible people almost completely. Very similar to what Bread described. They didn't prey on boys but they were psychological warfare'ing the crap out of each other.
My overall take away seems simliar to you, Rams in that I don't miss HS one bit. I enjoyed some of the things I did, but I am only linked to two ppl(they are married to each other) from my time there and they weren't even in my class. The only ppl that have stuck together are the ones who still consider it the best time of their lives. Huddled together united by their fear of the outside world. Other than that one crew, basically everyone else couldn't wait to get away from each other.
My size definitely protected me through other ppl's assumptions of who/what I was. I am lucky to that extent though. Still never been in a fight in my life outside of my brothers.
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Mark Mangino's son kind of bullied me in band class in 7th grade. He was a year older and a super stud qb on the football team, but he didn't do his assignment and tried to make me give him mine, I told him no and he gave me a dead leg or pinched me or something. Anyway when the teacher came to collect the assignments he didn't have his, so he had to move down a chair (i became 2nd chair trumpet and he got moved down to third), jokes on you Tommy Mangino! :gocho:
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Mark Mangino's son kind of bullied me in band class in 7th grade. He was a year older and a super stud qb on the football team, but he didn't do his assignment and tried to make me give him mine, I told him no and he gave me a dead leg or pinched me or something. Anyway when the teacher came to collect the assignments he didn't have his, so he had to move down a chair (i became 2nd chair trumpet and he got moved down to third), jokes on you Tommy Mangino! :gocho:
Stud move, raquetcat :thumbsup:
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Korn was great therapy for the bullied i feel like
And LP
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I don't think I let myself be bullied. I usually had the same reaction that LHC Bill Snyder had after Pinkel wouldn't shake his hand.
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I don't think I let myself be bullied. I usually had the same reaction that LHC Bill Snyder had after Pinkel wouldn't shake his hand.
Omg great post
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I don't think I let myself be bullied. I usually had the same reaction that LHC Bill Snyder had after Pinkel wouldn't shake his hand.
Omg great post
Yes, but a blowby handshake is a bit easier to "oh, welp" than a pinecone shoved up your butt. I read that happened.
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This Caine kid is a stud:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0w5KIF-QYg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0w5KIF-QYg)
Also this:
http://www.thebullyproject.com/ (http://www.thebullyproject.com/)
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Do you guys think FSD was bullied as a child?