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General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: JohnCurrie is Weird/Gross on October 19, 2012, 03:21:10 PM

Title: DADBONER!
Post by: JohnCurrie is Weird/Gross on October 19, 2012, 03:21:10 PM
Hey got fired, you guys   :bawl: (Bottom to Top)

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
I don't even really know what I did at work anyway. Who does? Just wasting my precious time when I could be rockin' or rollin'.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
They won't get away with this. I'm mother f-ing Karl Welzein. And I'm sick of bein' neighborly.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Got in the 'Bring, top down, lit a cig, cranked the Stranglehold, let the double middle freedom rockets fly to glory, and peeled out.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
On the way out, I told Ken, "Later tater. By the way, I smoked your old lady with my man meat." Thought he was gonna explode!

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
When you get up in someone's face, double middles blazin' with head swagger bangin', it's the ultimate Power Move. Stone Cold said that.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Walked up to Nosey Lady, gave her the double middles like freedom rockets, and bailed out like a boss player.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Slowly put my headphones on, cranked up Van Halen's Poundcake on the Discman, and power walked outta there with class and dignity.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Told the head honcho, "I'm the President & CEO of Bad Boy City, USA. And if you don't like it, I got 2 words for ya. Suck it." Did the move.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Head honcho said, "Karl, we have to let you go. It's just not working out." I work out all the time doin' 'shups in the john!

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Head honcho said, "Karl, I have some bad news." Told him, "The Tigers un-won?" Went in for a K-Money fist bump explosion. Denied.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Went to meet with the head honcho. He said, "Karl, nice blazer." I said, "Peep the teal. All my flavors are guaranteed to satisfy."

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Had to go in the gal's john for a hot mustard squirt. Domo arigato, peener was dehydrato.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Nosey Lady woke me up from a power snooze on the floor. I like to be rested before I hustle for paper. It's an old trick from the streets.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Layed low at work to get my spirits high and burn off the booze fumes. Smelled like a tire fire made of tires of liquor. Needed 'logne.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Figured the head honcho would wanna have a guy to guy, pronto, so I pregamed some trunk liquor to get loose and conversational.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Threw on my Craig Sager teal blazer from Men's Wearhouse and power walked into work with Van Halen's Top of the World blarin' on my discman.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
If your team wins a big one and you don't feel like a big pile of garbage the next day, you're not a true fan, you guys.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Feel like I drank a thousand beers last night. And took a bottle of Smirnoff to the head. 'Cause that's gone. Whole pack of cigs. And weed.

Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Happy Friday to ya, you guys.

Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: mocat on October 19, 2012, 03:46:44 PM
Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Had to go in the gal's john for a hot mustard squirt. Domo arigato, peener was dehydrato.

amazing
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: OK_Cat on October 19, 2012, 03:53:44 PM
http://twitter-fiction-reader.herokuapp.com/story/DadBoner

that link has every dadboner tweet on it.

also, someone "outed" the guy that writes it.
Title: DADBONER!
Post by: Tobias on October 19, 2012, 04:09:42 PM
they didn't deserve him
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: EMAWmeister on October 20, 2012, 10:28:52 AM
He's getting less funny
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: Bloodfart on October 20, 2012, 11:32:17 AM
I have never heard of dadboner but I think I like his style.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on March 08, 2013, 11:47:41 AM
BUMP
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: steve dave on March 15, 2013, 02:25:36 PM
http://www.amazon.com/Power-Moves-Livin-American-Dream/dp/0062233238/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1358805983&sr=8-1&keywords=power+moves
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: EllRobersonisInnocent on March 15, 2013, 02:30:03 PM
Quote
Karl Welzein ?@DadBoner
Threw on my Craig Sager teal blazer from Men's Wearhouse and power walked into work with Van Halen's Top of the World blarin' on my discman.

almost spit out my drink when I read this one
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: JohnCurrie is Weird/Gross on April 08, 2013, 01:59:28 PM
 :blindfold:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ofRP5XZsRkA#
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: MakeItRain on April 08, 2013, 02:25:05 PM
My sense of humor must be much worse than I thought because I don't find any of the tweets funny. The video confirmed my initial thoughts about @dadboner
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: JohnCurrie is Weird/Gross on April 08, 2013, 02:34:07 PM
The statements alone aren't really that funny, but we all know the type of guy IRL he's parodying, that's the part I enjoy.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: MakeItRain on April 08, 2013, 03:01:01 PM
but we all know the type of guy IRL he's parodying

I don't think I do. I guess I now understand why I don't get it.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: DQ12 on April 08, 2013, 04:52:58 PM
Dadboner is fantastically funny. 

By the looks of it, that guy is far better at writing than he is a standup comedian.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on April 08, 2013, 04:53:41 PM
Dadboner is fantastically funny. 

By the looks of it, that guy is far better at writing than he is a standup comedian.

Kind of sad he got outed. Would be pretty great if no one had a clue who it was...
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: DQ12 on April 08, 2013, 04:55:11 PM
Dadboner is fantastically funny. 

By the looks of it, that guy is far better at writing than he is a standup comedian.

Kind of sad he got outed. Would be pretty great if no one had a clue who it was...
maybe. we all knew it was a character anyways.  what's the difference?
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on April 08, 2013, 05:23:07 PM
Dadboner is fantastically funny. 

By the looks of it, that guy is far better at writing than he is a standup comedian.

Kind of sad he got outed. Would be pretty great if no one had a clue who it was...
maybe. we all knew it was a character anyways.  what's the difference?

Just the fun of not knowing who it was. Idk, just seems like he didn't want to be found.

http://deadspin.com/5892450/dadboner-unmasked-cracking-the-internets-biggest-mystery
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: EMAWmeister on April 08, 2013, 05:39:27 PM
Some of his tweets are amazingly funny. but at least 40% of them are trash anymore.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on April 08, 2013, 05:42:44 PM
Some of his tweets are amazingly funny. but at least 40% of them are trash anymore.

I agree, but the good ones make the bad reads completely worth it.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: pissclams on April 09, 2013, 08:35:07 AM
he was outed a long time ago
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: DQ12 on April 09, 2013, 03:18:32 PM
he was outed a long time ago
Thanks, obviousclams
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on April 09, 2013, 03:34:07 PM
He sucked yesterday, was expecting a little bit more out of him after the Michigan game
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: Stevesie60 on April 12, 2013, 05:41:42 PM
A few times now, I've followed Dadboner and stopped following him again. All the good ones get retweeted, and there are so many that just aren't funny.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: star seed 7 on April 12, 2013, 05:56:29 PM
My sense of humor must be much worse than I thought because I don't find any of the tweets funny. The video confirmed my initial thoughts about @dadboner

i have a pretty great sense of humor, and dadboner ain't humor.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on April 21, 2013, 08:47:04 PM
Has been pretty enjoyable today...?
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on October 17, 2013, 07:52:42 PM
Going to see him live at Czar Bar tonight. Will report back.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: DQ12 on October 17, 2013, 11:27:55 PM
Going to see him live at Czar Bar tonight. Will report back.
i thought they tore that place down after reidrolled went maniacal and started smashing bottles on the ground

 :confused:
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: Tobias on October 17, 2013, 11:39:38 PM
curious to hear how it was. i kinda stopped waiting for each tweet once he got bought out or got a deal or whatever
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: reidrolled on October 17, 2013, 11:57:30 PM

Going to see him live at Czar Bar tonight. Will report back.
i thought they tore that place down after reidrolled went maniacal and started smashing bottles on the ground

 :confused:
Maniacs!!!!
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: SkinnyBenny on October 18, 2013, 12:52:55 AM
A clone friend of mine got me Power Moves as a gift. Full of bold flavors. Been reading it on the john over the last four months or so. Very funny.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on October 18, 2013, 08:20:19 AM
review-

not what i expected at all. mike burns is a very good writer. as a stand up comedian, he is not very funny. he did about a 10 minute set where he talked about growing up in small town michigan and being poor. it was awkward as hell because everyone thought they were gonna get some dadboner stuff. then he whipped out what we all came for- his dadboner voice and started reading a bunch of stuff that didnt get published... guy fieri recipes, craigslist ads, etc, and we were going nuts. that stuff is hilarious. then he stepped aside and introduced a "friend" of his who was a comedian in kansas city. this guy was even worse. not funny at all. burns comes back on and tells a few stories about how he started dadboner and how the dead spin guy killed peanut when he outed burns as the writer. the way he told it made it funny. then he introduced a second kc comedian, who was pretty funny but nothing to write home about. burns comes back on stage and explains the next guy, Matt Braunger (@Braunger- he includes him in his tweets), is a legit comedian and were all going to laugh our asses off. braunger was hilarious, i couldnt stop laughing. he definitely stole the show, imo. then burns came back on the mic at the end and said hed be signing books in the back of the bar and hanging out all night.

i talked to burns briefly in the back when i went to the bathroom. he seemed like a pretty cool guy, but also seemed pretty stressed out.

overall, id give it a B-. it was a good laugh and im now able to say i saw him live, but it was far from a must see. i wish he would have stayed in character and read stuff that didnt get published all night, but whatever. guys gotta make money.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: Trim on October 20, 2013, 12:53:29 AM
Dadboner is fantastically funny. 

By the looks of it, that guy is far better at writing than he is a standup comedian.

Kind of sad he got outed. Would be pretty great if no one had a clue who it was...
maybe. we all knew it was a character anyways.  what's the difference?

Ha!
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: DQ12 on October 20, 2013, 11:48:35 AM
what, trim
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: Trim on October 20, 2013, 03:32:36 PM
what, trim

Had a similar convo with Hosie not long ago, but he was way more mad than sad.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: Asteriskhead on October 20, 2013, 04:39:30 PM
what, trim

Had a similar convo with Hosie not long ago, but he was way more mad than sad.

well, see, now we understand what you were getting at, mr. ambiguity.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: Trim on October 20, 2013, 04:44:02 PM
what, trim

Had a similar convo with Hosie not long ago, but he was way more mad than sad.

well, see, now we understand what you were getting at, mr. ambiguity.

D-Rew does.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: Asteriskhead on October 20, 2013, 05:12:36 PM
what, trim

Had a similar convo with Hosie not long ago, but he was way more mad than sad.

well, see, now we understand what you were getting at, mr. ambiguity.

D-Rew does.

so do i...
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: Trim on October 20, 2013, 05:21:36 PM
so do i...

 :cheers:

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BWowL0ECAAEZ1ty.jpg)
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: DQ12 on October 20, 2013, 06:37:46 PM
i'm way more shocked than mad or sad fwiw.  i pretend like i don't know still and it's fun.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: Trim on October 20, 2013, 06:46:33 PM
i pretend like i don't know still and it's fun.

That's the right approach, imo.
Title: Re: DADBONER!
Post by: Bqqkie Pimp on July 23, 2014, 02:30:11 PM
Help Karl get a new 'maro...

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/camaro-with-van-halen-sticker